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something of the opposite. Intrigue maybe. “Have you ever experienced this before?” he says to me in a whisper.

“Being pummeled, sir?”

“Has this ever happened to you before?” he asks again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir. I was simply defending myself the only way I knew how.”

“What did you say your name was?”

“Elder, sir. Elder Alderock.”

“This session is over. You’re dismissed,” he calls out to the rest of the class.

They disassemble, all except for the two others in the ring and Astor, who waits patiently outside the ring. The boy who remains standing helps the other to his feet. Both give me extended glares before removing themselves from the arena.

“We must talk.”

I look over to Astor, not really knowing why, but I guess to seek guidance for what I should expect from this strange man.

“Alone,” he adds. “Later. I will find you. You’re dismissed.”

They were my foremost and trusted colleagues in the beginning. I respected, envied, and trusted their knowledge and judgment. They held me to a higher standard. But I was weak. I laid out my naked soul, and they accused me.

31 Jaymes

T he dark water rushes along the bank, reflecting the star-filled sky. The eerie evergreens bordering the river’s edge speak in whispers. The mesmerizing flame crackles. It all makes for a peaceful evening. It reminds me of home. What I can remember of home. We ventured near it only two fortnights ago on our journey north to Navimar. Or rather, as near to it as I’ve been in four seasons. I don’t know if I’ve ever been to the Taiga region. Certainly not to Navimar. I sit silently and take it all in as if it will be my last night. Because it might be.

Ellia remains silent as well. She must do this alone often. She hardly acknowledges my presence except for a glare here and there. Persia is curled up at the base of a tree, invisible to my eyes. The only reason I know she’s there is because I watched her slink away from the fire in that direction and make a gentle rustle in the undergrowth. And occasionally, I witness a soft yellow glimmer when she peers through a half-opened eye to check on us.

I pull my stick from the flames. Savory juices drip from the rabbit meat on the end of the stick. I sink my teeth into it, realizing this is what I had been missing in the Broken Forest. Fish, it was always fish. I wonder if those boys were intentionally lame hunters. Ellia and I have been eating like royalty for the past few weeks, for the entire duration of our excursion. Venison in the Great Oak Forest. Poultry stolen from a farm along the eastern Taiga border. Speared frog legs as we passed through the swampland north of the Scarlet where the northern Ceruleans tower in the distance. There isn’t a night we’ve gone hungry. If it lives, she knows how to take its life.

And our mission culminates tomorrow, where she will take another. The thought pulls me away from the joyous flavors.

“What can I expect tomorrow?”

“Pain and suffering,” Ellia starts with a solemn voice. “You are about to experience a small portion of it. Have you ever killed?”

“Uh…umm…n-no,” I’m unsure if I should lie about it or not. “Countless beasts and wild game.” I hold the stick up with a smile.

“It’s not the same. Have you ever had to kill one of your own companions? A domesticated beast, such as a horse, a tiger, a dog?”

“No. My father was always responsible for cutting lives short. He would comfort me by telling me they had served their living purpose in this world, and it was time for them to serve Azure by dying. But I knew he was lying to protect me.”

“Your father sheltered you. Most do. His lies weren’t far from the truth.” She takes a long pause, staring into the flames. “But when you kill a beast, you don’t have to take the next step of burying them in the ground.”

“A few,” I interject. “We would butcher the horses and pigs, but we never ate the tigers.”

“You should,” Ellia replies. “It’s a tender meat. Melts in your mouth.” She wets her lips. “It is different taking the life of something you care for or, even more so, killing something that can think and feel just as you do. I’m sure you’ve heard this by many adults in your lifetime, but killing a person will change you forever.”

“No. Not really. I’ve never discussed killing another person with anyone. You’re the first.”

Ellia’s dark features glow in the amber light. Her one green eye, the only one she reveals, callouses me. If I’m going to be the Shadow’s shadow, maybe it’s time for me to commit to holding my tongue or at least changing my tone so she doesn’t think I’m mocking her. Ellia remains seated, thankfully, and continues speaking.

“You think losing those close to you is pain, but it doesn’t compare to what you will feel after personally taking another life. Physical pain is bearable. Your body heals. Mental anguish from a loss is worse, but time will heal it. Mental pain from images that cannot be unseen or acts that cannot be undone is true pain that lasts forever. A Lahyf cannot heal it. Time cannot erase it. It never heals. Each life you take will carve out a piece of your soul and replace it with death, leaving your mind and body tainted forever. The first one is the worst, and over time, each one will take less and less of your soul. But if you lead the life I have, you will be left with only a sliver of yourself. A sliver only capable of getting sharper that will forever be piercing your heart until

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