Simply Feminine � Surprising Insights from Men by Wonderly, Morgan (best novels for beginners .txt) 📕

Do you generally accept a man’s protection of you? If not, why not? If you do, how does it make you feel?

In what ways do you make a man feel safe to open his heart to you?

What are some observations you have about the men in your life and how they think differently from you as a woman?

Chapter 4

Restoring Masculine-Feminine Polarity

“Enlightened or not, you are either a man or a woman, so on the level of your form identity you are not complete. You are one-half of the whole. This incompleteness is felt as male-female attraction, the pull towards the opposite energy polarity, no matter how conscious you are.”

– Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now

The Importance of Polarity

For the sake of love between men and women, we need to restore masculine and feminine polarity. Just as opposite poles of magnets irresistibly pull together, gender polarity creates a powerful, dynamic sexual attraction when the opposite poles of masculine and feminine come into proximity. The experience we women have when we feel a weak-in-the-knees urge to swoon around a man with potent masculine energy exemplifies the power of this magnetic polarity. Its power is so great we sometimes feel helpless to its beckoning.

We may see couples with a connection so strong, we wonder, “What’s their secret?” Most likely that secret is their polarity; their strongly contrasting masculine/feminine energies. Polarity is what creates the inner fire that enlivens us when we encounter our counterpart. Polarity is what makes us feel “crazy” about each other and inspires us to great heights. When we take our femininity away from relationships, we take away polarity.

The differences between men and women create a sexual tension that draws us powerfully toward each other. The interplay between the masculine and feminine balances us when we unite. Feminine attributes are complemented and enhanced by masculine attributes. Contrasts between masculine and feminine can create immense value for us because where one gender lacks a strength, the other is likely stronger.

As a metaphor, observe the yin-yang symbol representing complementary essences. One side is black and the other is white. Both are equal in size and value. There is no inferior or superior. Each side has a smaller circle in it with the opposite energy. Similarly, when united, the feminine and masculine principles are complementary yet equal, forming a whole greater than the sum of its parts.

So, why should differences between men and women be seen as problematic? Men realize that feminine women complement them. I found they freely admit that a feminine woman is of great value to them because they feel most masculine in her presence. As she admires and appreciates her man, he wants to further impress her to win even more of her admiration. Thus, her admiration fuels his desire to provide for her and protect her. It’s a positive feedback loop that not only bonds the two together, but also makes both genders feel happy and fulfilled.

Results of Insufficient Polarity

“Men and women have inadvertently become more and more sexually neutralized, unable to give each other what they really want in intimacy. We are restraining the fullness of the Masculine and the Feminine forces that lie within each of us.”

– David Deida, author of Intimate Communion

In our modern society, we often pride ourselves on our ability to be independent. However, our autonomy diminishes our collective ability to maintain satisfying, lifelong, committed relationships. This is evidenced not only by the divorce rate, but also in fewer couples getting married in the first place.

The main root of this failure to get together and stay together is insufficient polarity between men and women. It’s no secret our society has gradually but steadily encouraged women to become more like men, and men to become more like women. The result has been a blurring and devaluation of both genders.

Without polarity, we are reduced to lukewarm relationships at best. Romantic passions, ambitions for success and accomplishment diminish. The lives of both men and women devolve in a progressively colorless, boring direction, lacking the rich subtleties and flavors that make life worth living.

For several decades now, we have observed Western culture (through the media) emphasizing unfavorable stereotypes of the male abuser and female victim. Femininity has been portrayed as weak, ineffective, and subservient to the point of helplessness and victimization. At the same time, masculinity has been portrayed as domineering, abusive, and violent to the point where many men are apologetic simply for being a member of such a misperceived “evil gender”.

As society highlights the most negative aspects of both genders, depicting their darker sides and presenting images of masculinity and femininity at their worst, it’s no wonder we’ve turned our backs and shunned both genders.

For many of us women, our drive for independence has led us to develop our masculine persona to the extent that we claim to need men less and less. Feeling less needed, men have felt more rejected by women in general. In the meantime, as if to alleviate their sense of loss, society has encouraged men to get in touch with their “feminine side,” which has been depicted as being honorable, while shaming them for their natural masculine qualities.

When we criticize others’ differences, we promote mass conformity. If we want to preserve gender polarity, we must focus our attention on championing their best qualities, not condemning their worst. Otherwise, we risk getting stuck in a lukewarm, androgynous safety zone where men and women look and act alike, and find little attraction toward each other.

The trend of blurring gender roles is progressively creating a unisex society, causing mass confusion and dissatisfaction in our romantic relationships. If we continue in this direction of de-polarizing, our sexual passion will get weaker and weaker. So much is lost with little gained to compensate. With a foundation like this, no wonder so few couples find a deep, lasting bond.

If we want to live a life full of the excitement that becomes available