Harem Assassins : King Sekton's Harem Planet, Book 2: A Space Opera Harem Adventure by Baron Sord (mobi ebook reader .TXT) 📕

my rings worked so I could deploy my armor. No matter how hard I tried to concentrate on making that wish a reality, it wasn’t happening. I was still naked and getting cut up by plants, brambles, thorns, and reaching vines as Theia ran and I bounced on her back. Yes, reaching vines. As for the plant brambles and thorns, many were shooting at me, pelting me as we passed. Admittedly, that may have been giant bugs trying to land on me and lay eggs — or worse — or it could have been projectile nettles and needles.

At least once, I heard a familiar:

Thu-thu-thu-thunk!

And muttered in Theia’s ear, “Shockthorn root?” I recognized the sound from having almost been hit by them the last time I was out in the jungle with Violet.

“My apologies, my king,” Theia grunted while running, her voice warbling with every step. “I’m trying to avoid them as best I can.”

“You’re doing great.” Did I still feel like an idiot riding her piggyback?

Yup.

It wasn’t long before—

BRIIIIIIIP!

Were our bolt rifles suddenly working?

Not ours.

“Pirates!” Theia hissed.

“How can you tell?!”

“Those aren’t Kurkullan rifles! It sounds like Stygian K177’s!”

“Where?!” I whispered.

“Up ahead! Get down!” She stopped and I dropped off.

My bare feet touched soft ground cover that felt neither slimy nor spiny. That was something.

BRIIIIIIP!

“Down!” Theia gasped as bright red bolt fire tore up the night all around us. She pulled me down to the ground with her.

Ka-WHOOSH!

KRAAIIIIIIIIIK!

“Terrorsaurs!” a male voice shouted in the distance.

“Shoot ’em!”

BRIIIIIIP!

BRIIIIP!

KEEEEEEEK! screamed a Terrorsaur in pain.

BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!

Frantic flapping of wings overhead.

“There’s people up ahead!” a gruff pirate shouted. “I think it’s them!”

“They’re almost on top of us!” Theia hissed quietly in my ear and gave me a hard sideways shove. “Go that way!”

My body jerked violently at the exact moment—

BRIIIIIIIP!

—more bright bolt fire lanced the air inches above our heads and tore into the surrounding jungle leaves.

When I rolled to the side, I kept going.

“Oh, shit!” I gasped because, after a short clumsy roll, the ground was suddenly… gone.

And I was falling fast.

—: Chapter 104 :—

I frantically waved my arms in tense, tight circles, as if flapping them hard enough might create lift and allow flight. My chest tensed. So did my jaw. I tried to keep my legs semi-relaxed because landing on tense legs in complete darkness was begging for broken bones.

After falling for what could have been two seconds, but felt like twenty, I—

Oof!

Hit the dirt.

Bounced.

Grunted in fear.

Slid.

Picked up speed.

POSITION vector up! Now! Now, now, now!

Nothing. My rings didn’t work.

I was accelerating down a black slope into a blacker abyss.

Then, the distinct sound of rippling water.

Followed by purple moonlight.

Ahead of me, I saw a steep ravine leading down to a narrow stream. Dense jungle foliage covered both sides of the ravine and the bright moonlight glinted off the waxy leaves. The stream below was black and possibly bottomless.

It was also coming at me fast.

I was still sliding uncontrollably down a steep slope, accelerating relentlessly.

Grimacing in fear, I tried to dig my feet into the ground, but it was too slippery. I tried to brake with my hands, but I kept hitting hard rocks and roots that gouged painfully into my palms. I didn’t turn over onto my stomach to claw at the ground because I was keenly aware that my junk was hanging out and I didn’t want it sliced off by a sharp rock. Or sliced open.

Foof!

I hit a flat area and lost significant speed. Bounced. Landed hard. Just when I thought I might stop, my butt hit slick grass and I shot off again into the open air.

Falling!

“Gulk!”

Splash!

I landed in the black water.

My mind instantly imagined a pack of Penis Piranhas going after my ding dong with a vengeance.

I knew how to swim, but it seemed like I’d suddenly forgotten how, and I thrashed violently at the water like I could climb out and walk across the top if I tried hard enough.

Alligators!

That was a stray thought reminding me I was calling more attention to myself by splashing. I did my best to stop thrashing, which was nearly impossible with the Penis Piranhas surely circling, but somehow I managed and started a smooth breaststroke toward shore. My head was above water and I listened intently for any sounds that signaled danger.

Kraaiik!

Briiiiiip!

The sounds of Terrorsaurs and pirate bolt fire had grown fairly distant, but they were more than loud enough to drown out any ass-biting alligators, any cock-chomping crocodiles now slipping into the river, and any underwater snapping turtles with an appetite for trouser snakes. If you grew up using swim trunks like I had, you never stopped to consider what would happen to your willy when you went swimming in an alien river without trunks. Guess what? Gravity still worked in the water. My ding was donging downward like a fishing lure. My only defense in this situation was shrinkage. Thank goodness, the water was plenty cold enough to quickly handle that task.

Just when several somethings started biting at my legs and torso and my—

“Ouch!”

Cracking pain when my knee hit a rock under water.

My forearm hit another rock.

Biting, biting, biting!

Something was trying to eat me!

Realizing I was close to shore, I put my feet down. Stubbed my toes. Felt sharp edges knifing the soles of my feet. The instant pain signaled it wasn’t actual knives, but it was a number of rough-edged rocks mixed in with smoother river rocks. Not razor sharp, but sharp enough to cut bloody gashes in my feet when I was frantically trying to find my footing in the purple moonlight and sprint toward shore.

Somehow, I got my feet going and kicked water splashing forward. After a few more splashing steps — Blorsh! Blorsh! Blorsh! — I trudged dripping onto a very small area of dry rocks that was flat overall, but covered in uneven ankle-breaking rocks that demanded I dance, almost stumbling and tripping with every step. I barely noticed any of that because—

Biting, biting, biting!

I reached down and tore several leeches or something similar off my