No Going Back by Casey Kelleher (bill gates books recommendations TXT) 📕

Shelby wanted Ashley to be here to see his child being born into the world; she wanted him to have that bond with their child. But more than that: she wanted him here so he could see how much she was suffering. How much pain she was in, now that this child that had wrecked her body was ready to come bursting out of it. And she wanted him to suffer too.

‘I know, darling! And I’m sure he’s on his way. Something important must have come up, with work,’ Janey said, hoping to sound convincing and not let on to an already suspicious Shelby that her unreliable husband had been doing his usual, and been up to no good as per. ‘I’m sure he’ll be here soon.’

She didn’t want to let on that Pete had already sent her a text and filled her in on what their darling son-in-law had been up to last night: now wasn’t the time to be putting ideas into Shelby’s head. Pete could deal with Ashley. Shelby needed to focus on her baby.

‘But I’m here, darling. Every step of the way. And I know that you can do this,’ Janey said, before biting down on her lip as her daughter crushed her hand, gripped in the throes of agony that labour brought.

Shelby didn’t do well with any form of pain at the best of times. Even a slight headache made her daughter skulk about, telling everyone who’d listen about how much she was suffering. She had always been the same. That selfish part of her personality, even when she was a small child. If she was suffering, she wanted everyone around her to suffer too. The fact that Shelby had made it this far in the labour without any pain relief was a miracle as far as Janey was concerned.

‘Ouch! Mum, I can’t do this. I can’t…’ Shelby groaned loudly, digging her long, fake nails into Janey’s hand and scraping off a layer of her mother’s skin as a wave of almighty pain spread through her. She felt as if her insides were being ripped in two. ‘Please, Mum, make it stop.’

‘Okay, Shelby, I need you to listen to me now,’ Tracey said, her tone authoritative. ‘The baby’s head is crowning. The next wave of pain you feel is going to be the one. I need you to take a deep breath and muster up all of your strength now. And when I say push, you are going to give me the biggest push that you can. Right down into your bottom. Give it everything you’ve got.’

‘I can’t!’ Shelby looked at her mother then for help as she shook her head, terrified of what was happening to her. Of being in so much pain and feeling as if she had no control. The fear on her face evidence that she knew that this baby was coming out, right now. Whether she was ready for it or not.

‘You can do it, Shelby. And you must. Now breathe,’ Janey said, used to using her matter-of-fact tone with her daughter. She’d spent a lifetime not pandering to the girl’s constant wants and needs.

Unlike her husband, Janey knew to stand firm with Shelby and not give in. The girl had always needed a firm hand, which is where Pete had failed miserably. He was a great father, and he’d always had good intentions, but he’d loved Shelby so much that he had wanted to give her the world. And in doing so, he had unwittingly created a monster. With her every want or demand given in to, Shelby had become spoiled and bratty. And even now, at twenty-four years of age, and about to be a mother herself, Shelby still depended on her parents more than anything.

As she watched Shelby close her eyes and push with all her might, Janey squeezed her hand gently for encouragement. This baby was going to be the shock that Shelby needed to make her finally have some responsibility of her own. Janey hoped that it would somehow be the making of her daughter too. Something that would give Shelby a purpose. Shelby needed to grow up and, like every other woman before her had discovered, having your own child soon put paid to any grand notions that your life was truly your own.

‘Push, darling, push!’

Letting out one last almighty animalistic groan from somewhere deep down inside of her, Shelby collapsed back onto the bed with relief as the room was filled with the most enchanting sound of a baby crying that she and Janey had ever heard.

Just then the door opened and Pete and Ashley rushed into the room.

‘Oh, Shelby, love. You did it,’ Janey said. Tears filled her eyes as she looked down at her firstborn grandchild cocooned in the midwife’s arms, before turning to where her husband stood, his face full of emotion.

‘She did it, Pete. Look.’

‘Congratulations, Shelby, darling,’ Pete said then, his voice thick with pride, as the reality of his grandchild being born hit him.

‘Would you like to cut the cord?’ Tracey asked, looking at the younger of the two men and guessing that he was the AWOL father.

Ashley stepped forward, searching Shelby’s face for permission and anticipating a mouthful of anger. Only Shelby smiled back at him and nodded, overcome with emotion now that her ordeal was over. Ashley had made it just in time.

Ashley cut the cord, and the nurse handed him the baby.

‘Congratulations, mummy and daddy. You have a beautiful baby boy.’

‘He’s perfect, Shelby. Just perfect. He looks just like you,’ Ashley cooed, staring down at his tiny son before passing the child to Shelby.

‘Have you decided on his name?’ the midwife asked.

‘Riley.’ Shelby nodded, taking her son in her arms and staring down at the tiny boy.

She’d done it. She’d given birth to her son. And he’d been worth every second of pain, she thought as she stared down, transfixed, on his tiny, perfect features and the lock of dark hair on his head.

‘Hello, my