The Daddy P.I. Casefiles: The First Collection by Frost, J (great novels .txt) 📕

usual date things. Dinner, movies, dancing. Plus there’s a shibari group I used to take my bottoms to. Have you ever tried shibari?”

I shake my head. “I’d like to, though. I love being restrained.”

Logan’s grin goes wide and wicked. “I noticed. I think we could have lots of fun with shibari. I’m not a master rigger, but I enjoy the basics, and I love suspension. Have you ever been suspended?”

“No, Daddy, but I’d like to try it.”

I’d like to try anything that makes him grin that wolfy grin.

“Good girl. We will. Any concerns about being in littlespace while you’re bound and suspended? Would your little be frightened?”

“I don’t think so. I’ve never had a problem being restrained when I’m little. Being tied up or cuffed feels safe, actually.”

“Good. A lot of bottoms describe shibari that way. The rope makes them feel safe, like being wrapped in a comforting blanket. I hope you feel that way, but, if not, just tell me. I don’t ever want to frighten your little again.”

During our first date, he frightened me for real when I was in littlespace. I think it traumatized him more than me. “Ta, Daddy.”

He frowns and I can almost see him thinking. “Anything else scare you when you’re little?”

“Big, barky dogs,” I tell him, between bites of tangy, crisp fish. Is it just because we’re on vacation that the food tastes so good? Fish is definitely not this tasty in Syracuse. “But they scare me when I’m big, too.”

Logan smiles gently. “We’ll avoid big dogs.”

“Being left alone in the dark,” I admit hesitantly. I know Logan’s different; he won’t use my fears against me the way some of my Doms have. But some very small part of me still screams in protest every time I hand him something he could use to hurt me. “I’m okay being blindfolded, though.”

“I noticed you tracking my movements when you were blindfolded during the scene,” he says.

“I’m okay as long as I know you’re there. Being left alone turns my head inside out.”

“Do you start having bad thoughts?”

I nod. “Lots and lots.”

“Are bad thoughts scene-killers?”

Wow. None of my other Doms ever figured that out.

“I don’t usually have bad thoughts during scenes. I mean, scenes get me out of my head. But if things go wrong and the bad thoughts crowd in—” I shake my head. “It’s really hard for me to come back from that and I’ve never been able to get back into littlespace.”

Logan runs his fingertips around the edge of his water glass, which is a delicate gesture for such a big man, but I think Logan perceives a lot through touch, maybe more than some of his other senses.

“Physical pain banishes the bad thoughts, though, doesn’t it? That’s why you brought me the hairbrush and asked me to paddle your feet on our first date.”

Yes, it was. “Sometimes just connecting with my Dom again is enough.” I edge closer to him, because this conversation is making me jittery. “But most of the time, I need pain.”

Logan scoops me up and settles me in his lap. “Better?”

I nod gratefully.

“What does kinky pain represent to you, baby doll?” he asks, while he feeds me the last few bites of fish.

“Control, connection, safety, release.”

“Good girl.” He kisses my temple and offers me the last bite of my dinner. “When does pain scare you beyond what you can handle?”

I chew ten times before I answer. “When it’s unexpected. As long as I know it’s coming, I can relax into it. Even if it’s more pain than I anticipated, it’s still okay as long as I know it’s coming. Like with the cane. It bit really hard, particularly on the backs of my legs, but you tapped me first, so I knew it was coming and I was okay.”

“Very good. What pain is too much?”

I try to think of pain that’s been truly too much—either a kind of hurt or severity—while he feeds me crème brûlée. There have been plenty of times when I thought the pain was going to be more than I could endure, but looking back on it, it wasn’t, and it always ended up being a turn-on. There’s only been one scene when it really wasn’t.

“That time I told you about with Matthew. The forced orgasms on the Sybian,” I say. “I should have used my safe word, but I was being punished for, um, being really horrible.” I actually told Matthew to go fuck himself, something I never, ever did again. “I was trying to endure it so I wouldn’t be in worse trouble. It hurt in a way that I couldn’t process. It felt like something was ripping inside me. I’m okay with pain on the outside, but maybe not so much on the inside?”

Logan puts the spoon in the empty cup and strokes my back. “So we’re clear, if you use your safe word with me, you will not be in trouble. I will never punish you for that. And if you feel like something is ripping inside, you tell me immediately. You don’t need to safe word. You just tell me, straight away.”

“Yes, Daddy.” I snuggle into him, feeling so safe in his lap with his warm arms around me.

“Good girl. I know some of this is hard to talk about, Emmy, but you’re doing great. Just a little more, then we’ll watch some scenes. What brings on bad thoughts?”

“It’s not just one thing.” That’s not completely true and I immediately regret saying it. “Uh, okay, there is one thing. Doubting my Dom. That brings bad thoughts on, always.”

“Doubting your Dom when he leaves you alone in the dark? Or when he takes you beyond your pain threshold? Or when he lies to you?”

“All of those,” I whisper into his shirt.

“Things that undermine your trust in your Dom. That’s what brings on bad thoughts?”

I nod. My throat feels too thick to force words through.

Logan rubs my back and holds me close, breathing warmly into my hair. “Did you have