Here Be Dragons - 1 by Sharon Penman (best inspirational books txt) 📕

for the first time, comprehend how it must be for Joanna, caught between the conflicting claims of

a father and a husband. But for the moment, nothing mattered more thanGruffydd's need. "Ednyved and Rhys are outside in the cloisters. They'll escort you back to our camp, Joanna."She gave him an anxious look that made him conscious of just how exhausted he truly was, but she did not argue, slipped quietly from the chamber. Llewelyn crossed to his son, put his hand on the boy's arm. Gruffydd jerked free with such violence that he lurched against one of the benches."How could you do it, Papa? How could you ever agree to turn me over to John?""Agree? Good Christ, Gruffydd! Does a man dragged to the gallows agree to the hanging? If you'd not insisted upon coming with me, if y°u'd stayed at Dolwyddelan as I wanted" Llewelyn broke off in mid-sentence. After a long pause, he said, very quietly, "Gruffydd, listen to e' lad. I'd give anything on God's earth to spare you this. But I cannot.u must somehow try to understand that. You keep telling me you've cned manhood, you're no longer a boy. You have to prove that now, m%dd, by accepting what has to be."Llewelyn had always known his son had uncommon courage, an

350r353unrelenting pride. Gruffydd had lost much of his color. A few freely not usually noticeable stood out in sudden, sharp relief across his cheek bones, the bridge of his nose; he'd rarely looked so much like his moth as he did at that moment. He swallowed with an obvious effort, b when he spoke, he'd gotten his voice under control."Where will he send me? To London, to the Tower?"Llewelyn winced. Jesu, no wonder the boy seemed so fearful! "Ah no, lad!You're to be a hostage, not a prisoner. You will not be caged, win not be shut away from the sun. John will treat you kindly, will keep you at his court." He could see Gruffydd's doubt, said, "He always does with hostages of high birth, has even allowed the younger ones to act as pages in his Queen's household."This time when he reached out, Gruffydd did not pull away. He put his arm around the boy's shoulders, and for a moment or two, no more than that, Gruffydd clung, held tight. But then he drew back. "How long," he asked tautly, "shall I be held hostage?""I do not know," Llewelyn admitted, and Gruffydd retreated even farther into the shadows."I want to be alone now, Papa." Gruffydd did not wait for Llewelyn's response, but at the door he suddenly stopped, swung around to face his father again."Tell me, Papa. Would you have given Davydd up as a hostage, too, had John demanded it?""Yes," Llewelyn said, "I would."Gruffydd's face was utterly in shadow. "I wish I could believe that.""Gruffydd, wait!" Llewelyn reached the door in four strides, bul still was not in time. The cloisters lay dark and deserted, and Gruffydd was nowhere in sight.THE sky was overcast, the sea dulled to an ashen shade of grey, the air so heavy and humid that Joanna felt as if she were filling her lungs with pure vapor. It must be like this to be caught in a cloud, she thought, and let herself indulge in a moment of fanciful whimsy, gazing up at the sky and wondering what it would be like, drifting within a world soft an wet and utterly opaque, a floating womb."Whatever are you thinking of, Joanna? You've the oddest look °n your face!" ."When I was little, Richard, and out of favor with my mother, would go out on the moors and play what I called my 'pretend' gair' Sometimes I'd become a bird, sometimes a boat bound for Cat metimes just a leaf in the wind. I'd almost forgotten about those games-"She glanced across the encampment, toward her husband and his n Llewelyn was talking, Gruffydd saying very little. He was close ough forLlewelyn to touch, but even from where she stood, Joanna ould see ne was beyond reach. She turned back to her brother, said bruptly/ "Richard, promise me something. Do what you can for Gruffydd."He nodded, as ever, too discreet to pry. And because he did not, she felt obligated to explain. "For Llewelyn, not for Gruffydd. I will not lie not to you. When I learned what Papa meant to do, I was glad, Richard, I was truly glad. I only hope Papa keeps him in England for a thousand years. But if anything should happen to him whilst he is in Papa's hands, it will be the end of my marriage. Llewelyn might think he'd not blame me, but every time he'd look at me, he'd remember. How could he not? So try to ... to keep an eye onGruffydd, see that he does not do anything foolish, or provoke Papa into doing anything . . .rash.""Joanna, I'll do my best, but I'll not lie to you, either. I cannot be the boy's guardian angel, cannot be Papa's conscience.""No, I suppose not," she conceded. "Do you know if Papa is still within theEarl of Chester's command tent?"

"I think so. You mean to talk to him again? You've tried twice, Joanna; it might be best to give him time ...""Time?" she echoed bleakly. "Now who's lying, Richard? You know as well as Ithat time is running out even as we talk."JOANNA curtsied, but did not wait to be summoned. Moving forward, she said, "My husband is making ready to depart. May I speak with Your Grace ere we go?""I think it best if we do not. I do not see what we have to say."Joanna had no more warning than John. Never had her temper token fire so suddenly, flaring from embers to inferno in the span of seconds. "Well, I do have something to say to you, and say it I shall!"John was staring at her as if at a stranger, for it was the first time e ^ever