Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

prayer meeting and all of sudden I hear someone crying. I look around, but no one in the room is crying. I must still be extremely tired because I’m hearing things now. I close my eyes, and I hear it again.

Grandpa Tali starts reciting a scripture from the Bible and we all join him. Grandpa Tali closes the prayer and I realize that whoever is crying is outside. I’m not sure if anyone else can hear it so I sit quietly in case they all think I’m going mad. Eli squeezes my hand and I know he hears it too.

Luka is the first one to get up, he pulls the blinds up and freezes.

“What is it Son?” Mama asks.

“Mama, there's people outside,” he says.

Daniel helps Grandpa up and holds on to him until they get to the window.

“Sina, come here” Mama says. Eli pulls me up and we walk to the window. I don’t know what to expect, but what I see literally brings me to tears. There are more than a dozen people outside, and they aren’t just random people either. It’s Auntie Lupe, Uncle Niko, and June-Bug covered with fine mats. I knew it was them because I heard June-Bug crying. Auntie Claire and a lot of Dad’s relatives are all sitting behind them facing the house with their heads bowed down.

“Sina, do you know what they’re doing?” Grandpa Tali asks and I nod my head. He holds his hand out. I walk over to him and hold his hand with both of mine. He kisses my hands and holds my face gently. I can feel his hands shaking, “I am so sorry for everything that this family has put you through.” I shake my head no, because it isn’t their fault. “It only takes one person to break the family tie Sina. I am sorry that I couldn’t keep you safe” he cries. “Whether you forgive the family or not, we won’t blame you. I just need you to know that I will always love you and as long as God allows me to be here I will do everything to keep you and the rest of this family safe.” He holds his hand out and Eli takes it. “The same goes for you Elijah. I am sorry for the heartache that you and your mother went through, but know that whatever you and my granddaughter decide to do, I along with this family will respect it. Thank you for putting Sina first, and for believing her when she thought she had no one.”

Eli is trying his best to hold it together. This is something so new to not only myself, but for Eli and the rest of my family. I can see Eli is confused as well so I give him the short version of what's going on right now.

“I’ve heard of an Ifoga, but never seen one before.” I say.

He quietly asks, “What’s an ifoga?”

I can’t stop crying, but I have to make sure that he understands.  “It’s the Samoan way of asking for forgiveness. So, it’s up to us if we forgive them or not. If we choose to forgive them we have to go outside and remove the fine mats, but if we don’t they will sit outside until we’re ready to forgive them.”

He takes a deep breath and takes my hands in his. “Whatever you decide, I will support you.” I know in my heart that it isn’t any of their fault so I have to forgive them.

“I love you Grandpa.” I wrap my arms around him and say, “I forgive you.”

“Your father would’ve been so proud of you Sina. You are a brave girl and this family is blessed to have you” he says. Grandpa kisses my forehead then he lets me go. I can hear everyone crying outside and it breaks my heart. Mama, Megan, Luka, and Daniel understand my decision and I love them for always being there for me. I mouth “I love you guys” then I tell Eli that I love him.

He kisses my forehead and says “I am so proud of you Sina.”

I take a deep breath and walk out the door. Each step I take my heart feels heavier the closer I get to them. My heart breaks for Auntie Lupe, Uncle Niko and June-Bug. I need them to know that I’ve never blamed them because they didn’t know. The closer I get the faster my heart beats. With each step my heart aches for them. As I remove each fine mat, the louder Auntie Lupe cries. I lay the fine mats gently to the side then I kneel in the front of them. I reach for Auntie Lupe and Uncle Niko’s hands and I hold them. They have their heads bowed and I can’t take it anymore. I lean in toward them and say, “Auntie Lupe, Uncle Niko I forgive you. What happened to me and Eli isn’t and wasn’t your fault.”

“Auoi” Auntie Lupe cries.

“I love you both, you’re my family” I cry. They both look at me and my heart hurts so bad for them because their eyes hold so much pain.

“Sina, please forgive us” Uncle Niko cries. I wrap my arms around both of them and we cry together. I cry for their pain, I cry for the broken hearts and I cry for Jackson. I cry because even though I forgive them, I know that their family is broken. I kiss Auntie Lupe on her cheek, then I kiss Uncle Niko on his forehead. I let them go then I move over to my brother. I grab June-Bugs hands and he leans down and kisses my knuckles.

“I am so sorry Sina” he cries. I let go of his hands and I hold him.

“I love you Junior.” He’s a big guy, but that doesn’t stop me from holding on to him tighter. “This doesn’t change my love for you. You’re still and will always be my brother” I cry. I wish