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his weight onto his forearms, and his chain dangles onto my lips. I catch it with my teeth, knowing how much he loves my mouth.

5

Cobra

β€œHey, party’s canceled,” Glas quickly says after I remind him how much I do not like being on the phone.

β€œFine by me, brother. I’m otherwise engaged, anyhow.”

β€œMouse forgive you?” he asks, knowing how often we do this.

β€œWho knows. I wouldn’t.” I admit the undeniable truth under my breath, my eyes scanning from the shot glass filled with liquor in front of me to her gorgeous naked body on the pool table. She sheepishly smiles and cocks her head to the side suspiciously. My hand goes up into the air, waving her off, not wanting to answer her unspoken question.

Holding the phone between my shoulder and face, I pull my pants and boxers on one-handed, and my butterfly knife clatters to the floor. After buttoning my jeans, hooking my belt, and retrieving my knife, I awkwardly smile at her.

β€œFuck. Me either.”

It isn’t a mystery how much of an asshole I am. I don’t deny it because there isn’t any use in doing so. I do try to be better, but I always end up fucking myself and others over in the endβ€”Usually, Mouse falls into the front of the line. I’m the fuckwad who drops his dick in anything with a pussy when I’m drunk. I know the reason, though. I could stop, I really could, if I thought I deserve to be with her. She’s too good for me. Hell, she was when we got together, and I thanked the stars and whatever else for her every day. Somehow throughout my life, I lost focus on what is important and traveled a path of no return.

I meant what I told her earlier, even though I’ve said it more times than I can count on every appendage on my body. I will stand by it this time. I can’t put her through this shit anymore. Even if she doesn’t take me back, if this is the last time we are together like this, I won’t parade muffler bunnies in her face. Even though it’s never my intention to do so, I don’t exactly try my hardest to keep them away from her either.

6

Quinn

β€œGo ahead, we got this,” I assure Lathe and Screen. There’s no sense for all of us to hang around and clean when they could be working on the house. The last few weeks have been completely different than I ever could have expected. Cobra has stood by what he said about those two rude sweet asses being the last. That I know of anyway. He doesn’t owe me anything anymore than I do him, but this time seems different. I can’t put my finger on it, something new about him. Then again, it usually does. I want to trust him, but this isn’t the first time he’s tried to stand by his word.

Cobra picks up the dishes and puts them into the sink as I fill it with water and soap and get to washing them. β€œWhat’s up?”

β€œWhat do you mean?” I let on as if I haven’t noticed a change because I don’t want to get my hopes up, only to get let down again.

He glances at me skeptically and purses his lips outward. β€œMouse, what’s going on with you?”

I let out a huff. β€œWho knows?”

He takes a plate from me and absentmindedly turns it within his hands under the running water. β€œIs there anything I can do?”

β€œI really don’t know, Jude.” There’s so much I want to say to him, but for whatever reason, I can’t bring myself to voice a single damn word. This isn’t how we usually are around each other. He and I both are more conservative than normal.

β€œThis is about us, isn’t it?”

I nod and then shake my head in disagreement. There are so many emotions dancing in my body right now I don’t know if it really is about us anymore. Maybe I have clung to a memory so long that I should have let die years ago. Perhaps I’m in love with the memory of us instead of actually being in love with him. There comes a time in every person’s life when they need to face the truth.

β€œHave you given up on me, Quinn?”

β€œI wish I knew the answer to that,” I tell him the truth because I have no clue. If I didn’t know better, I would wonder if I were drunk. I’m over-biting my tongue to keep the peace. Ever since we were together a few weeks ago, it’s as if we have both been tiptoeing around one another, afraid the proverbial dam would burst again. Eventually, it always does. The past has shown us that much to be true.

β€œI’m going to make you believe me.”

β€œWhy now?”

β€œWhy now what?”

β€œWhy is it so important to you that you change now after all these years?”

He takes the soapy dish from my hand and drops it back into the water. β€œIt’s actually something Glas said. Well asked, technically. He asked if you forgave me, and I said I wouldn’t. I kept fucking up repeatedly because I didn’t think I deserved you anymore and still don’t, but I wanted to. Ya know?”

β€œWanted to what?”

β€œBe a man you deserve. I know I’m a bastard and one of the worst ones. I’ve literally tortured people. Hell, I’ve killed them and not lost a night of sleep over it. Yet, hurting you over and over again. I hate myself for it. I thought if I couldn’t be good enough for you, I would make damn sure I’m not good enough for anyone.”

Tears form and burn my dry eyes. I’m so stunned by what he’s said that I guess I didn’t blink when I was supposed to. I don’t know where to begin. β€œOh, Jude.”

β€œIt’s true. I wake up every day and try to do as much damage as possible.” Leaning my head to one side, I give

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