Here Be Dragons - 1 by Sharon Penman (best inspirational books txt) 📕

with happiness, reveling in the reassuring intimacy of their shared smiles. Had he smiled, too, as he gave the command to hang Maelgwn's son? He was just a lad, not yet seven. John had Maude de Braose and her son cast into a dungeon at Windsor Castle, and then he starved them to death. He hanged the hostages; they're dead . . . dead. She sank to her knees by the bed, but the voices would not stop. When she could endure them no longer, she fled the chamber.Catherine was waiting out on the porch. "Ah, Joanna, I'm so sorry ...""I want Llewelyn. Please, Catherine, bring him to me.""I will, dearest," Catherine said swiftly, soothingly. "I will. But a man has just ridden in, and he ... he was there, Joanna, at Nottingham the day the hostages were hanged. Llewelyn is with him now. I know he'll come to you as soon as he can.""No!" Joanna shook her head vehemently. "No, I cannot wait!" She could hear her voice rising again, as it had in the hall. Her need for Uewelyn was an instinctive, blind groping toward the light, toward the °nly haven left to her, and she repeated, with the stubbornness born of shock, "I cannot wait. Imust see him now."Her eyes were clouded over, unfocused; they held a look Catherine ad seen before, the dazed, defenseless look of a child half-awakening, °m a nightmare. Catherine had always been able to dispel childhood°rrors with hugs and lit candles, but she had no comfort to offer Jo-^ na< for her fears were not fantasy. She knew that Llewelyn wouldVe no comfort, either.

392LLEWELYN was standing by the dais; men had clustered around him intent eavesdroppers upon this eyewitness account of the August u hangings. Joanna did not yet know what she would say to him. In truth she did not want to talk at all, for there was nothing he could say tn change what wasthat the whole fabric of her life had been founded upon lies. She asked no more now than to be held, asked no more than the reassurance of physical closeness, the familiar feel of his embrace.She had almost reached Llewelyn when her gaze fell upon the man kneeling before him. Marc, the most trusted member of her household Marc, whom she'd sent to Nottingham with a warning for John."Morgan . . ." Llewelyn's voice was husky, almost inaudible; he sounded stunned. "Tell my daughters." And then he was moving away from the dais, moving swiftly toward the door. He passed within several feet of Joanna, but seemed as oblivious of her as he was of the others in the hall. She stood in stricken silence as the distance between them widened; she'd begun to tremble again."Madame!"Marc had risen to his feet, was hastening toward her. He started to speak, but she did not give him the chance. "You told him. You told him about my letter."He nodded. "Madame, I had to tell him. We're at war with John. Why would I be in England . . ."Joanna was no longer listening. For a moment she closed her eyes. How could she face him? He might have understood yesterday, but now . . . Lady Mary, what was she to do?"Madame . . . did you not hear what I said about your stepson? He is not dead, Madame. He is not dead."LLEWELYN was standing by the window. He heard the door open behind him, but he did not turn, not until Joanna said his name."Marc told me," she said softly, "that Gruffydd is safe.""Safe? Safe ... oh, Christ!"Joanna had never heard so much raw emotion in his voice, so much fear. Tears began to burn her eyes."Why did John spare him? Why?""I... I do not know, Llewelyn.""Hanging is not an easy death. But there are worse ways to die/ much worse."They looked at each other, and the same thought was in both the1 minds:Windsor Castle and the agony of Maude de Braose's last days-"I have no way of knowing if Gruffydd is even still alive. John co have had him put to death yesterday ... or tomorrow. Gruffyd"

393ver know which sunset might be his last And I can do nothing for him, nothing""Beloved " But the right words eluded her He'd spoken only . truth, how was she to dispute it7 The silence was fraught with tenon with all that still lay unsaid between them Moving to the table, she oured out a cupful of mead, all she could think to do for himHe took it from her, drank slowly, keeping his eyes upon her all the while/and then he said, "Do you want to tell me now what was in the letter you sent to John, the urgent letter that was for his eyes alone7"Her voice was little more than a whisper "I I warned him that he faced betrayal by his own men if he led an army into Wales "She might have been a stranger of a sudden, a haggard, frightened woman looking up at him with eyes full of entreaty "I trusted you," he said "I've never trusted a woman as I trusted you ""It was all I could think to do, Llewelyn If my father feared treachery, there was a chance he'd not come into Wales, that he'd abandon the invasion I did it for you Beloved, I swear it1""Was this the first time7 Or have you been keeping him informed all along7Have I been underestimating your talents7 Loving wife, ardent bedmateandJohn's spy7""No, Llewelyn, no'" Her voice broke and she began to weepHe watched, saying nothing He'd taken the mead on an empty stomach, and it was beginning to have an effect, so, too, was the lack of sleep, the guilt, the grieving His anger ebbed away, leaving only exhaustion in its wakeJoanna's denial rang true, but it mattered little Nothing mattered now butGruffydd and what he faced at John's hands"Llewelyn, I would have told you, in truth