Backstage Romance: An Austen-Inspired Romantic Comedy Box Set by Gigi Blume (ebook reader with highlighter txt) 📕

“Yes, but Stella spent half her time in New York back then. Your mum, she has a rather large imagination and has probably seen Evita too many times. She was afraid once you got to Hollywood, you’d end up on some casting couch. She made me promise to look out for you.”

“I figured as much.”

“Emma, she made me promise. If any man got near you, I had to intervene. She’d call me once a week to make sure of it. And she was obsessed—always following the fan pages.”

“She is a little bit psycho about the fan pages.”

Yup. Maybe a little.

“Why do you think that Gordon guy and Tom Davies and what’s his name? The rapper.”

“Trey?

“Yeah, Trey. He was a real winner. Why do you suppose they lost interest?”

“I just thought they ghosted because they couldn’t deal with my awesomeness or something. I kinda didn’t think much about it, really. You were always there for me.”

“Exactly.”

Ding. Her eyes went wide, and an O formed on her mouth.

“You mean all these years… guys never… because you… sock-blocked all my dates?”

“I don’t think that’s how the expression goes.”

“Yeah, it does. It comes from old-time mobsters putting socks in people’s mouths.” She gasped. “You’re not packing heat, are you?”

“Ummm…”

“Because if you are… not gonna lie. That’s kinda hot.”

“I’m not packing heat.” Not in the way she meant, anyway. “Emma, I understand if you can’t forgive me, but I want you to know I’ll never do it again. I just want you to be happy.”

Even if her choice was Frank. She took a moment to let that absorb.

“No socks?”

I crossed my heart. “No socks.”

She smiled. “Are you sure you don’t want to come inside? It’ll just take a minute to find my cast-iron skillet. Or a wood spoon.”

“No, I better go.”

“Okay.” Her smile turned into a frown, and she waved as I turned back toward my car. Now I could make my dramatic exit.

Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.

29

Mad World

Emma

I had a sly suspicion Jaxson kept finding excuses to snog. I mean, come on. A ‘goodbye’ kiss? Okay, mate. I could play along. After all, kissing Jax was a fun activity. I’d be down for an all-nighter if he was up to the challenge. We were colouring outside the lines in our friendship colouring book, here—but I was totally onboard with that.

But there he was telling me all sorts of crazy while a curtain of rain poured behind him like a backdrop for lonely people—like Eleanor Rigby. As the words rushed from his lips, I silently admitted to myself how I’d hardly been surprised. All under the orchestration of my mother.

Something deep inside me felt a rush of adventure with the idea of Jaxson cocking a shotgun to scare off would-be suitors. Extra points if he wore chaps. A certain thrill washed through me—wondering if he sometimes acted on his own will so he could keep me all to himself. It made me feel weirdly feminine in an old-fashioned Outback sort of way. But as Jax confessed these things to me, I could see the regret on his features—his face wet from the splattering rain. Or could it be tears?

He looked like a gloomy puppy dog as he turned and disappeared into the darkness. It broke my heart to see him leave. I didn’t like it one bit.

I slunk down against the archway into the living room and slouched into a sorry pile of woe on the floor.

“Where’s Jaxson? I showered as fast as I could.”

Oh, yeah. Frank was here. His timing couldn’t have been worse. Did he really need a fancy shampoo? He was worse than my mother. Lucky for him, she’d left some weird-smelling stuff behind.

Frank looked ridiculous in my purple sweatpants. They were the only pair I had big enough for him.

“He had a plane to catch,” I lamented.

“Ah, snap. Did you tell him?”

“No.”

He ran his fingers through his damp hair. “He won’t be happy.”

I supposed not. Then again, it wasn’t the end of the world. Actresses got out of their contracts all the time when they had an excuse like Jennifer did. I had to admit—her news shocked me speechless. I was especially touched Frank brought her over to tell me the news in person. I guess those text and voice messages I’d sent softened her to me. Unfortunately, she puked all over herself and Frank when she smelled the red wine I brought out to celebrate. Prego nose and all that. Vomit was all over her hair—hence, shampoo.

“How’s Jennifer feeling?” I asked, deflecting the subject away from Jaxson. That just bummed me out.

“She’s better now.” Frank sat on the floor next to me. “Thanks for the organic shampoo. Chemicals make her morning sickness worse.”

So Jennifer was the one after my dear mother’s chemical-free heart. I wondered if she ate kale too.

“She can keep it.”

“Thanks. She’s resting in the spare room if you don’t mind.”

“That’s fine. Feel free to stay the night. Harriet takes that room sometimes.”

Oh no! Harriet. With all the commotion, I’d almost forgotten about her. She was about to have her heart crushed for the second time in a month. Poor thing. I wondered how hard she’d fallen for Frank and if she at least suspected he was going out with Jennifer. I certainly had no clue until they showed up at my doorstep.

They explained it all to me (pre throw-up of course) and gave some lame excuse why they had to keep their relationship secret. All these secrets made me dizzy.

“I still can’t believe Jennifer’s jerk of a manager made her have a fake affair with Dixon.”

“I know. I didn’t want to say this in front of her, but I was so jealous. We fought about it constantly. And I’m sorry for dragging you into it.”

“No harm no foul.”

“I was sure you were on to us.” His lip curled into a boyish grin. “And I knew you’d play along without getting uptight and all.”

“I’m the opposite of uptight.”

Jaxson might have gotten the wrong