Radley's Home for Horny Monsters by Annabelle Hawthorne (chromebook ebook reader TXT) 📕

let out little whimpers as he slid himself free, cradling her in his arms.

“God, that was so fucking hot!” Naia declared. The faucet turned itself on. The tub began filling up once more.

Tink slid away from Mike, then turned to face him. “Tink know you make great goblin husband,” she told him, a single tear traveling down her cheek. Her yellow eyes were like stars, reflecting the light above the tub.

Naia picked up the brush from the side of the tub. Mike gave Tink a kiss on the forehead as Naia began working the brush through Tink’s tangled hair.

“Tink is a great goblin wife,” Mike declared, smiling at the monsters in his tub.

Made of Stone

Mike yawned, the morning light through the white curtains casting a blissful glow on the room. He scratched the back of his neck and kicked the lump near the bottom of his bed. He sat up, then leaned forward to give the lump a playful pat.

“It’s time to get up, Tink.”

The lump slid to the edge of the bed and disappeared over the edge with a thud. “Owie,” Tink muttered, standing up holding her bottom. She was wearing a tank top night shirt, one of the things Mike had ordered through Amazon, as a full dress. She wore her goggles too, refusing to part with them, even at night.

“How did you sleep?” Mike asked, sliding out of bed in just his boxers.

Tink responded with a yawn, her wide mouth revealing dozens of needle-sharp teeth. “Tink sleep extra heavy. Mike hog bed.”

“I did not hog the bed,” he said. After the threesome in the bath, Naia had spent a solid hour brushing Tink’s hair out, and then braiding it tightly against Tink’s head, starting at the base of her horns and running behind her ears. Mike eventually wandered out his front door (with a wary glance at the swing) to retrieve the Amazon packages he had ordered; some replacement shirts for himself, and some clothes he thought Tink would like. Tink had cried when he showed her the shirts he had bought -they all fit her like little dresses, albeit the fit was odd.

Naia informed Mike that Tink’s skills extended to sewing as well, and that the goblin would likely alter the material later for a better fit.

“Mike hog bed, too much roll over. Goblin husband have bad dreams.” Tink beat him to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She wasn’t wrong-Mike, despite ending the night on the best note of his life, had suffered through the standard recurring dreams again. He stared at the scar tissue on his hip, pondering why his brain insisted on living through the worst moments of his life in dream form, his broken mother shrieking at him from the past.

“You okay?” Naia’s voice drifted up from the tub. “I’m getting a vibe off of you.”

“Just some old memories. I’m okay.” Tink flushed the toilet, but the door remained shut. Wondering what was taking so long, Mike opened the door.

The goblin stared at the water swirling in the bowl, her goggles pulled down over her eyes.

Mike didn’t dare investigate any farther, preferring to wait.

“Bad pipe,” Tink declared. “Water not fast enough. Bad pipe.” She looked at Mike, her eyes magnified through her goggles. “Tink can fix, but need some parts.”

“How can you tell?” Mike asked. The toilet seemed slow, but the house was old.

“Tink know.” She tapped her goggles. “Tink good at fix, but goggles good at seeing what need fix. Tell Tink big water leak come soon.”

“Shit. Is it safe to use again?”

“For now, is safe.” Tink strolled out of the bathroom, giving Mike’s butt a slap. “Need fix in couple days, or big mess. Tink look in basement today, check where pipes go.” Her stomach growled. “Tink go after breakfast.”

“Yeah, I’ll make us something.” Mike excused himself, then peed in the toilet. The tiny scratches on his arms and legs looked bad, but didn’t hurt any longer, which was a good sign. He walked out of the bathroom, staring into the tub. “Is it weird that I’m just sort of accepting this? The last twenty-four hours have been out of my depth.”

“It’s what makes you a good fit,” Naia’s voice informed him. “You can handle all of this because it isn’t normal. When you got into a fight with Tink, you thought outside the box to make sure she stayed, even if it meant fucking a goblin. I know you did it partially for me, but you did it partially for the house without realizing it. It works through you, much as it does through me. If you had encountered a horny, human woman down there who wanted to suck your dick, you would have suffered a panic attack and come running inside.”

Mike thought about this for a second. Naia was right. Somehow, the sheer lunacy of this whole situation wasn’t even registering on his panic meter. “Did my great aunt handle it as well as me?”

“In some aspects, yes,” Naia replied. “She accepted things quickly, but she didn’t take your unique approach to tackling problems.” Her laugh echoed in the tub. “At least, not right away. We spent plenty of nights together in the tub, just the two of us.”

“Gonna be honest, not sure how to take that news right now.” Mike pulled a shirt over his head. “I’ll see you later.”

“Stop out in the garden,” Naia told him. “I would love the company.”

“Can do.” Mike left his room and walked silently down the long hall. He pondered every closed door he passed, seeing each as an inevitable trap. What was hiding here, behind these quiet doors? Eventually, he would open them all, checking each room for another Tink, or even a Cecilia.

A chill went up his spine at the thought of the banshee. He needed to make nice with her, and he thought he had a good way to do it. He placed his hand on the top rail of the stairs, looking