Here Be Dragons - 1 by Sharon Penman (best inspirational books txt) 📕

was a traitor, owed a debt of dishonor that was now due and payable. When my father wrote to me, he had just learned vvhat Dammartin's fate is to be. Philip has confined him in a cramped, dark cell, chained to a log, and he shall be kept in that hellhole until he dies."Joanna's voice faltered. "I know what you're thinking, Llewelyn, that my father has forfeited the right to sit in judgment upon Philip. There's no denying that he'll face Our Maker with sins no less grievous upon his soul.But Reginald de Dammartin was his friend, and I know how deeply he mourns, forI read his letter."I read his letter," she repeated, "and I wept. I knew how heartsick he was, sore beset on all sides. I knew, too, that he was ailing, for Richard had written me that he'd suffered a severe attack of gout, so painful that he'd been bedridden for days. Yet shall I tell you what I did, Llewelyn? I dried my tears, found pen and parchment, and wrote him an answering letter as cold as

death. I'd have shown greater charity to a stranger on the roadside. I offered my condolences with lethal courtesy. I said I could not come to his Christmas court. And then I told him that if he truly loved me, he would prove it by releasing your hostages.""Ah, Joanna ..." Llewelyn had never hated John so much as at that moment, had never felt such utterly futile, frustrated anger. "God damn him," he said savagely. "Damn him forever and aye!""I think he is damned," Joanna whispered, "and . . . and if only I did not care! But I do, Llewelyn. I hated myself for writing that letter. And unfairly, unforgivably, I began to blame you."She could feel tears burning behind her lashes, but she blinked 'hem back."Llewelyn, I swear I did not lie to you that day at the White ^dies Priory. Itruly thought I could do what I promised you, that I ouid cut him out of my heart. You were right and I was wrong; I can nev« fully forget that lost little girl at Rouen Castle.""I know."' cannot forgive him, Llewelyn. I cannot forget those children he ^"fdered atNottingham Castle. Until the day I die, there will be nights < n Maude deBraose and a seven-year-old boy steal away my sleep. VQ ,^etand yet Istill cannot be indifferent to his pain. Not even for ewelyn felt no surprise, only a sense of weary wonderment that it

440had taken them so long to face the truth. She'd never be free of John. n a strange sort of way, she was as much John's prisoner as that poor lass Eleanor of Brittany. Had he truly thought he could break that bond?"Llewelyn? Llewelyn, talk to me. Tell me you understand, that you're not angry with me. Tell me what you're thinking . . .""I was thinking," he said, "that there's much to be said for marrying an orphan," and Joanna gave a shaken laugh, not far removed from a sob."I was afraid," she confessed, "so afraid you'd say that I'd broken my word, that you'd tell me again what you said at the priory, that you did not think you could love John's daughter.""You were not the only one lying to yourself that afternoon, breila." He brushed her hair back from her face, breathed in the faint fragrance of lemon, the sandalwood scent of her perfume."Not that it's always easy loving you." His smile was at once tender and wry."Welsh and Norman make for a spicy stew. And John casts a long shadow. I've never felt as close to any woman as I do to you, but I know that for all we share, there will always be secrets between us, drawbridges we dare not lower, because you are John's daughter."Sliding his arm around her waist, he drew her into a closer embrace. "Yet Iknow, too, that I might not be alive right now if you were not John's daughter. He had me well and truly trapped when you came to him at Aberconwy.And still he offered a trucebecause you asked it of him."That was not a memory Joanna wanted to dwell upon. She did not doubt that her father loved her. It was a millstone around her neck, one that scraped her conscience raw."No more talk of John," she entreated. "Let's talk rather of our Norman-Welsh melange. You like your food both sweet and sour; why not your woman?" Reaching up, she kissed him upon the mouth, a kiss at first soft and then seeking."It's not always easy loving you, either. But it's worth the effort, my lord husband, well worth the effort." She made a protective sign of the cross over his heart, began to track with gentle fingers the scars of old wounds. "In truth, I'd lower my drawbridge for you any time," she murmured, and Llewelyn grinned."Scriptures talk of Heaven's gate, but for now I'd gladly settle for yours.Alas," he laughed, bringing her hand down, catching it between his thighs, "as you can see, if I were a flag, I'd be at half-mast."Joanna laughed, too, slid lower in the bed. "I'd wager that c raise a flag even faster than I can lower a drawbridge," she said, was not long in making good her boast. This time their lovemaking none of its earlier urgency; it was leisurely, playful, and curiously forting in its very lack of intensity.

442Joanna was drifting toward sleep, she stirred reluctantly as Llewelyn sat up, threw the coverlets back "Can we not stay abed a while longer7""No, my lazy love, we cannot I hear appeals from the commote courts this forenoon, afterward meet with my council " In council they would discuss an offer of alliance made by the rebel barons of England, discuss the resumption of war against his wife's father Llewelyn pushed that thought from him "A pityI cannot go riding this day, I should've liked to make use