Backstage Romance: An Austen-Inspired Romantic Comedy Box Set by Gigi Blume (ebook reader with highlighter txt) 📕

elderly lady taking the last car so she could see her grandchildren for the holidays. I had to know who to direct my ire towards. So I followed the important businessman’s gaze until my vision landed on the lucky jerk renting one of the last cars. Dog Man.

Seriously, my day couldn’t have gotten any weirder. There he was, fumbling through his stuff, dropping all the contents of his wallet onto the counter. The cashier shook her head and said something I only caught the tail end of as I drew closer.

“…can’t accept cash. Credit cards only.” She shrugged as though she couldn’t care less and for a split second I felt sorry for Dog Man. Nobody should have to endure the indifference of a tired rental car clerk. Not three days before Christmas. Then I remembered his indifference about my broken phone and a small part of me—the vindictive part—rejoiced at his plight. He looked so pathetic in those jeans that were too worn to be fashionable and a pair of extremely insensible Converse All Stars—also run down. Did this guy not know how to dress for the snow? Reeses’ little snout peeked out of the bag on the floor and I only had time to note the flash in his eyes upon spotting me before he unzipped the bag with the force of his body. Yes—unzipped the bag. He bounded to me and jumped so fast, I could only open up my arms to catch him. That took a lot of faith on his part. I could have let him tumble to the floor for all her knew. Instead I found myself with an arm full of energetic Jack Russell Terrier and a face full of doggy kisses. Why me? Was this his secret ploy to get away from his current human? I thought only cats did that.

“Give me ten seconds,” Dog Man begged the cashier.

“You got five,” she said impatiently.

I was halfway to the counter by the time Mr. Attention Seeker reached me.

“You again,” he snarled.

“Can I help it if Reeses likes me better than you?”

“Just give me my dog.”

“Ooh,” I chirped. “Do I sense a hint of jealousy?

Something in his features shifted, as though I’d hit a nerve and he narrowed his stare into slits, stepping into my personal space. I could smell the prickly annoyance on him…and I kind of liked it. His face was so close to mine I could bite his nose if I were so inclined. Reeses’ doggy ways were beginning to rub off on me.

“Don’t flatter yourself, princess. He's just hoping for some caviar to drip from your entitled chin.”

“Okay, first of all…ew, and second—”

“Excuse me. Can you two love birds hurry it up?” The guy next in line waved his arms around.

Love birds?

“Sir,” the cashier called to Dog Man. “Does your wife have a credit card?”

Ping! I had a light bulb moment. One my over-protective brother would certainly not approve. Dog Man saw it in my eyes and wildly shook his head.

“Oh, no. Nope. She's not my wife.” He slipped back to the counter. I still had Reeses.

“Listen, I’ve got a hundred twenty-eight fifty. That’s more than enough for the rental to California.” He practically threw all his cash at the clerk. His hands were shaking. This guy had some serious issues.

“Even if we did accept cash, and we don’t, that will only afford you one day’s rental.” The clerk was smiling but I could see the condescending frown under the surface. “Now please. Step aside.”

I really couldn’t explain what came over me in that moment. Perhaps it was sheer desperation to the point of complete loss of common sense. I didn’t know anything about Dog Man other than a superficial assessment of his appearance—however easy on the eyes said appearance was.

“Actually, he’s telling the truth.” I shot Dog Man a just follow my lead sideways glance. His brows scrunched together. I continued as if I didn’t notice. “I’m not his wife. Yet.” I extended my left hand to proudly display the cubic zirconia ring my brother made me wear to fend off would-be suitors. I wasn’t kidding about the over-protective bit. “We haven’t told my parents yet. We’re on our way to California to surprise them. Reeses here helped with the proposal. Didn’t you, boy?”

A collective awww came from all the females within hearing distance and I nuzzled Reeses to drive it home. Good crowd.

“What are you doing?” Dog Man hissed.

“I’m sorry Homer. I forgot you get embarrassed easily.” I planted Reeses right in Dog Man’s chest.

“My name is not Homer.” He glared at me with a heat so intense his chocolate eyes almost turned to ganache. I waved it off to explain to the clerk.

“Oh, I just nicknamed him Homer Simpson because he loves ‘dem donuts.” I pinched the sweater bulging around Dog Man’s waist.

“That’s adorable. Do you have a credit card or not?” Such a ball of sunshine, that lady.

“American Express okay?”

My new fake fiancé’s eyes went round as I handed the cashier my Platinum card. Sunshine Lady snapped it from my fingers and ran it through the computer at the other end of the counter.

“That was my rental car,” Dog Man spat. “You can’t just cut in line and steal people’s rental cars.”

“Cut in line? Are you in fifth grade? Anyway, I’m not stealing your rental. See that man?” I inclined my head to a rather large man with a comb over who was next in line. “For the record, I’m stealing his rental because Sunshine Lady over there wasn’t giving you any breaks.”

“I almost had her.”

“No you didn’t.”

The clerk called me over to finish the transaction so I could go over the rental agreement on a touch screen. Dog Man stormed next to me while I happily checked off all the boxes.

“If it wasn’t for Reeses you’d be in the back of the line, princess.”

“If it wasn’t for Reeses, my phone would be working. So I think we’re even.”

I tapped away at the screen. Rental insurance?