The Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio (best classic books of all time txt) 📕

assuredly, and thou keep it much longer in thy mouth, it will mar thee those which be on either side; wherefore I counsel thee have it drawn, ere the thing go farther.’ ‘Since it seemeth good to thee,’ answered he, ‘I will well; let a surgeon be sent for without more delay, who shall draw it for me.’ ‘God forbid,’ rejoined the lady, ‘that a surgeon come hither for that! Methinketh it lieth on such wise that I myself, without any surgeon, can very well draw it for thee; more by token that these same surgeons are so barbarous in doing such offices that my heart would on no account suffer me to see or know thee in the hands of any one of them; for, an it irk thee overmuch, I will at least loose thee incontinent, which a surgeon would not do.’

Accordingly, she let fetch the proper instruments and sent everyone forth of the chamber, except only Lusca; after which, locking herself in, she made Nicostratus lie down on a table and thrusting the pincers into his mouth, what while the maid held him fast, she pulled out one of his teeth by main force, albeit he roared out lustily for the pain. Then, keeping to herself that which she had drawn, she brought out a frightfully decayed tooth she had ready in her hand and showed it to her husband, half dead as he was for pain, saying, ‘See what thou hast had in thy mouth all this while.’ Nicostratus believed what she said and now that the tooth was out, for all he had suffered the most grievous pain and made sore complaint thereof, him seemed he was cured; and presently, having comforted himself with one thing and another and the pain being abated, he went forth of the chamber; whereupon his wife took the tooth and straightway despatched it to her gallant, who, being now certified of her love, professed himself ready to do her every pleasure.

The lady, albeit every hour seemed to her a thousand till she should be with him, desiring to give him farther assurance and wishful to perform that which she had promised him, made a show one day of being ailing and being visited after dinner by Nicostratus, with no one in his company but Pyrrhus, she prayed them, by way of allaying her unease, to help her go into the garden. Accordingly, Nicostratus taking her on one side and Pyrrhus on the other, they carried her into the garden and set her down on a grassplot, at the foot of a fine pear-tree; where, after they had sat awhile, the lady, who had already given her gallant to know what he had to do, said, ‘Pyrrhus, I have a great desire to eat of yonder pears; do thou climb up and throw us down some of them.’ Pyrrhus straightway climbed up into the tree and fell to throwing down of the pears, which as he did, he began to say, ‘How now, my lord! What is this you do? And you, madam, are you not ashamed to suffer it in my presence? Think you I am blind? But now you were sore disordered; how cometh it you have so quickly recovered that you do such things? An you have a mind unto this, you have store of goodly chambers; why go you not do it in one of these? It were more seemly than in my presence.’

The lady turned to her husband and said, ‘What saith Pyrrhus? Doth he rave?’ ‘No, madam,’ answered the young man, ‘I rave not. Think you I cannot see?’ As for Nicostratus, he marvelled sore and said, ‘Verily, Pyrrhus, methinketh thou dreamest.’ ‘My lord,’ replied Pyrrhus, ‘I dream not a jot, neither do you dream; nay, you bestir yourselves on such wise that were this tree to do likewise, there would not be a pear left on it.’ Quoth the lady, ‘What may this be? Can it be that this he saith appeareth to him to be true? So God save me, and I were whole as I was aforetime, I would climb up into the tree, to see what marvels are those which this fellow saith he seeth.’ Meanwhile Pyrrhus from the top of the pear-tree still said the same thing and kept up the pretence; whereupon Nicostratus bade him come down. Accordingly he came down and his master said to him, ‘Now, what sayst thou thou sawest?’ ‘Methinketh,’ answered he, ‘you take me for a lackwit or a loggerhead. Since I must needs say it, I saw you atop of your lady, and after, as I came down, I saw you arise and seat yourself where you presently are.’ ‘Assuredly,’ said Nicostratus, ‘thou dotest; for we have not stirred a jot, save as thou seest, since thou climbest up into the pear-tree.’ Whereupon quoth Pyrrhus, ‘What booteth it to make words of the matter? I certainly saw you; and if I did see you, it was atop of your own.’

Nicostratus waxed momently more and more astonished, insomuch that he said, ‘Needs must I see if this pear-tree is enchanted and if whoso is thereon seeth marvels.’ Thereupon he climbed up into the tree and no sooner was he come to the top than the lady and Pyrrhus fell to solacing themselves together; which when Nicostratus saw, he began to cry out, saying, ‘Ah, vile woman that thou art, what is this thou dost? And thou, Pyrrhus, in whom I most trusted?’ So saying, he proceeded to descend the tree, whilst the lovers said, ‘We are sitting here’; then, seeing him come down, they reseated themselves whereas he had left them. As soon as he was down and saw his wife and Pyrrhus where he had left them, he fell a-railing at them; whereupon quoth Pyrrhus, ‘Now, verily, Nicostratus, I acknowledged that, as you said before, I must have seen falsely what while I was in the pear-tree, nor do I know it