Lair by Carl Stubblefield (recommended reading TXT) 📕

lot of breaks to recharge, a chime sounded, notifying him he had leveled up his Wreck-It-Gus skill to level 3 and the blade achieved a fine bevel on one side. He dismissed the 50 XP notice that accompanied the message.

Taking another drink, Gus set to finishing the other side. He had it done in less than an hour. Sharpened edge along one side and the serrated teeth looked extra-menacing along the back of the blade. Gus held the cleaver-like weapon and decided to finish the knife by fashioning a point. Using his pinpoint serration method, he made a slight curve to the opposite corner of the knife. Breaking this off, another hour led to the fully-finished knife.

“I should name this thing, I’m kind of proud of it,” Gus mused. The contour reminded him of the Arkansas mascot, so he held the knife up, Lion-King style and intoned, “I name thee RAZORBACK!” No lightning bolts came from above with the power of Grayskull, but there was a combo chime-ding!

You have completed the quest ‘Dems sharp!

250 XP awarded

390 XP to level 3

You have crafted a unique weapon, Razorback. Weapon stats: +10% piercing, +10% slashing, +50% durability. Due to the opposing forces used in fashioning this blade, it gains a unique characteristic, Wreck-tums!

Wreck-tums! (Level 1): 5% critical chance that will damn near kill the enemy from the opposing forces of chaos the blade unleashes along its edge. Blade is also auto-sharpening due to this effect. After receiving wear or damage to the blade’s edge, chaos forces will re-balance it to razor sharpness. This item has hidden skills only discovered through use.

100 XP awarded

290 XP to level 3

“Are you kidding me, Nick? Wreck-tums? I mean, it’s a great characteristic, but this is getting ridiculous.”

“Your subconscious, remember, Gus?” Nick reminded, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that…”

“Does that ability require verbal activation?” Gus asked, holding his breath.

“No, it is totally passive,” Nick confirmed, and Gus let out a sigh of relief, imagining himself running around shouting ‘rectums’ for an entire battle like a fool.

“Let’s put this baby to work!” he said and turned to the highlighted bamboo and other trees. Gus picked up Razorback and made his way across the stream to the thin trees, leaving the bamboo for now. He was able to easily hack down the stalks but they had tiny thorns on the outer bark. Not conducive to working, especially in the nude. He noticed the edges of the thin stalks were rolled up as the thorny bark separated from the supple green core with a slight tug. These cores were smooth and uniform and six to eight feet on average, with a thickness a bit smaller than a pencil.

After stripping them, Gus tried to apply what he had learned about weaving from the palm fronds and tried to envision how he could make a little oval platform for his feet. He tried a foot-sized oval but realized that there would be no support in the middle, so he doubled the foot-sized loop and tried to figure out how to hold everything.

He settled on grasping the ends of the two loops with a big toe in each and holding the open end of the loops toward the center with his non-dominant right hand. Threading over-under-over-under, back and forth, and pulling the weaves taut, he was able to form a third of the oval.

He had to gather more materials to finish, but the weave was tight enough to keep from coming apart. Finishing up after gathering more materials, he was able to make a small woven pad slightly larger than his foot.

Denuding another couple stalks he made another sole, and mused about how when something was denuded it was actually made nude, not removed from nudeness. And how their denuding would remove his nudeness. He almost thought he could hear Nick give a virtual groan, but it could have been his imagination. Was his increase in intelligence making him contemplate things more? If so, hopefully it would give more practical insights along with the ridiculous ones.

He attempted making straps out of the stalks but that made them too difficult to walk on evenly, plus the stems would not bend at that sharp of an angle to go flat along the sole.

“Any ideas, Nick?” Gus asked, but caught himself. “Never mind,” he added, not wanting to lose any XP. “Hmm. I need some way to make a durable cord, so I need to find something to braid together that is long and flexible.” Nothing seemed to be highlighted yellow in his vision in this area. He wondered if the boost to his perception had lapsed since he had finished the quest.

He’d have to put some points in perception, especially if he wanted to have an easier time surviving. The perception boost from his Wreck-ord skill bonus was a lifesaver. If he was choosing his own stats, he would definitely have ignored perception completely, focusing on strength or agility.

“I also have to figure out a way to start carrying all my junk. Maybe I can make something out of this bamboo,” he mused, remembering that it was also highlighted in yellow earlier. Experimenting, he gathered some of the cast off shoots from the bamboo. It was thin, but using Razorback, Gus was able to cut strips small enough to braid into straps that he attached to the woven pad, and finished his homemade flip-flops.

He had cut down many bamboo poles, and was now faced with the dilemma of how to transport them back to the shelter. At first, he tried to carry the poles in a bundle with Razorback lodged in the far end of one, but they would keep shifting and mercilessly pinched the skin on his forearms when they did so, chewing up tiny slivers of HP.

“Screw this!” Gus spat as he dropped all but two of the bamboo poles and began to drag them behind him.

He was proud of his new footwear. His sore feet almost felt like they were getting massaged