Mr. Darcy's Diary by Amanda Grange (books for students to read .txt) π
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- Author: Amanda Grange
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βHe has been so unlucky as to lose your friendship,
and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his
life.β
What has he said to her? What has he told her? I
longed to tell her the truth of the matter, but I could not
do so for fear of hurting Georgiana.
Once more a silence fell.We were rescued from it by
Sir William Lucas who let slip a remark that drove Wickham out of my mind. For that, at least, I must thank him.
He complimented us on our dancing, and then, glancing
at Miss Bennet and Bingley, he said he hoped to have the
pleasure of seeing it often repeated when a certain desirable event took place.
I was startled. But there could be no mistaking his
meaning. He thought it possible, nay certain, that Miss
Bennet and Bingley would wed. I watched them dancing, but I could see nothing in the demeanour of either
to lead to this conclusion. Yet if it was being talked of
then I knew the matter was serious. I could not let Bingley jeopardize a womanβs reputation, no matter how
agreeable his flirtation. Recovering myself, I asked Elizabeth what we had been talking about.
She replied, βNothing at all.β
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I began to talk to her of books. She would not admit
that we might share the same tastes, so I declared that
then, at least, we would have something to talk about.
She claimed she could not talk of books in a ballroom,
but I thought that was not what was troubling her. The
trouble was that her mind was elsewhere.
Suddenly she said to me, βI remember hearing you
once say, Mr Darcy, that you hardly ever forgave, that
your resentment once created was unappeasable.You are
very cautious, I suppose, as to its being created?β
Was she thinking of Wickham? Had he told her of the
coldness between us? She seemed genuinely anxious to
hear my answer, and I reassured her.
βI am,β I said firmly.
More questions followed, until I asked where these
questions tended.
βMerely to the illustration of your character,β said she,
trying to shake off her gravity.βI am trying to make it out.β
Then she was not thinking of Wickham. I was grateful.
βAnd what is your success?β I could not help asking.
She shook her head.βI do not get on at all. I hear such
different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.β
βI can readily believe it,β I said, thinking with a sinking
feeling of Wickham. I added on impulse, βI could wish
that you were not to sketch my character at the present
moment, as there is reason to fear that the performance
would reflect no credit on either.β
βBut if I do not take your likeness now, I may never
have another opportunity.β
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I had begged for clemency. I would not beg again. I
replied coldly, stiffly: βI would by no means suspend any
pleasure of yours.β
We finished the dance as we had begun it, in silence.
But I could not be angry with her for long. She had been
told something by George Wickham, that much was
clear, and as he was incapable of telling the truth, she had
no doubt been subjected to a host of lies. As we left the
floor, I had forgiven Elizabeth, and turned my anger
towards Wickham instead.
What had he told her? I wondered. And how far had
it damaged me in her esteem?
I was saved from these unsettling reflections by the
sight of a heavy young man bowing in front of me and
begging me to forgive him for introducing himself. I was
about to turn away when I remembered having seen him
with Elizabeth, and I found myself curious as to what he
might have to say.
βIt is not amongst the established forms of ceremony
amongst the laity to introduce themselves, I am well
aware, but I flatter myself that the rules governing the
clergy are quite different, indeed I consider the clerical
office as equal in point of dignity with the highest rank
in the kingdom, and so I have come to introduce myself
to you, an introduction which, I am persuaded, will not
be deemed impertinent when you learn that my noble
benefactor, the lady who has graciously bestowed on me
a munificent living, is none other than your estimable
aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. It was she who
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preferred me to the valuable rectory of Hunsford, where
it is my duty, nay my pleasure, to perform the ceremonies
that must, by their very nature, devolve upon the incumbent,β he assured me with an obsequious smile.
I looked at him in astonishment, wondering if he
could be quite sane. It seemed that he did indeed believe
a clergyman to be the equal of the King of England,
though not of my aunt, for his speech was littered with
effusions of gratitude and praise of her nobility and condescension. I found him an oddity; but my aunt, however, had evidently found him worthy of the living, and
as she knew him far better than I did I could only suppose he had virtues I knew nothing of.
βI am certain my aunt could never bestow a favour
unworthily,β I said politely, but with enough coldness to
prevent him saying anything further. He was not deterred,
however, and began a second speech which was even
lengthier and more involved than the first. As he opened
his mouth to draw breath, I made him a bow and walked
away.Absurdity has its place, but I was not in the mood to
be diverted by it, so soon after quitting Elizabeth.
βI see you have met the estimable Mr Collins,β said
Caroline to me as we went into supper.βHe is another of
the Bennet relatives. Really, they seem to have the most
extraordinary collection. I think this one surpasses even
the uncle in Cheapside.What do you think, Mr Darcy?β
βWe may all have relatives we are not proud of,β I said.
It gave Caroline pause. She likes to forget that her
father made his fortune in trade.
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