Twisted Steel: An MC Anthology: Second Edition by Elizabeth Knox (top 5 ebook reader txt) 📕

possibility the baby could be his. It doesn’t shock me to my core or make me feel betrayed because I was ready for this. I planned on being a single mother. It’s time I get my head out of the clouds and back on track to do what I need to do for me and the baby.

With this time to myself, I could reflect and hear what my heart wants. More than anything in this world, I want this baby. The longer I thought about the possibilities of a boy or girl, the feeling wrapped me up and warmed me to the idea the baby is a girl. I don’t really understand how these things work, but I feel happy. As if my motherly intuition has started to take over. I want her to be proud of me and I am determined to shower her with love. This is I have to leave Cowboy’s apartment. He must want us just as much for anything to work. At this point, I don’t believe he does.

I’ll swing by Jazzy’s later and give the keys to Spider. His brothers can watch his place. By the time I make it to work, the salon is running at full speed and I get lost in cut and color. I enjoy every moment of bringing smiles to people. I know that without a doubt, I was meant to find happiness in what I do. And suddenly, I’m not in a rush to prove who I am to the world, let alone my parents.

It took a little growing baby to realize my pride was filling me full of poison. By seven at night, I see my last customer through the door. Her curls bounce up and down with each step to her car.

I’ve decided that for her, my baby, I’m going to take my time. My journey with her will never be a destination, and the truth is, I don’t know that I will ever have another shot at being a mom. She, in herself, is a miracle to me. I’ve noticed the slightest change of my stomach. Now that I’ve reached my fourth month with her, it sticks out just a little. My hand runs protectively over her.

By the time I reach Jazzy’s house, I’m dragging my feet up the sidewalk. I knock but then walk in without waiting for a sound to welcome me inside. Jazzy is placing dishes into the dishwasher. The aroma from their dinner wafts over me. My stomach growls, and I call out, “Feed me!”

“I had a feeling you would be coming by. I left you a plate by the stove.”

“God, I love you, woman. Cowboy left and I don’t want to stay at his place. It felt weird.” I pick up the grilled chicken and veggies and my mouth waters.

“Hmm, well, you know, you always have a place here. You better be feeding my peanut. FYI, that place feels weird now because you miss him in it,” Jazzy warns with a hand on her hip.

“One, she eats all the damn time. You should be more worried about how much she’s been taking over my body.” I plop onto the barstool at the kitchen counter and dig in. “You know, I was worried about what to do with nursing school and a place to stay. I decided I’m going to put school on hold until she’s a little older. I don’t want to miss anything when she’s tiny. I want her to have a nice house someday, a steady home.”

“If that’s what you want, then go after it. How are you doing with him gone? What did he say about the baby?” Jazzy is not holding back, but being the good friend she is, she doesn’t come out and say ‘he left you alone and pregnant’.

“I can’t stop him from leaving, Jazz. We don’t know if it’s his kid. I’m not chasing after a man to love us. He chose what he needed. It hurts, don’t get me wrong, but I’m big enough to let him find himself out there in the world. The week we spent together was good. It showed me what life could be like. I want that permanently, but not because I strapped him to me. I want the real thing.” What I believe is I won’t have what those around me do if I push it. My whole life I’ve been alone, tried to get my parents to love me but they never did. Love comes with no conditions and it comes to you. Maybe at a different time or place, Cowboy and I would have worked. I’ll be so grateful for him making it easy for me to see what a potential future could be like. The two of us together gave me hope.

17

Cowboy

“So, you left her thinking that you may or may not be the daddy to her baby?” Angus asks with a hint of amusement in his smile. I told him on the way here I would meet him at his house. I didn’t want what I had to do be in the eyes of the past at the old clubhouse. Besides, he wasn’t getting around as well. His time is fast approaching the end. He holds a beer, cigar, and gleam in his eye of a happy dying man. Sitting here on his porch, I envy him. Angus lived his life exactly how he wanted and to this moment, he didn’t leave anything to chance. He is the king of his world.

“I didn’t know how to answer her, to be honest. Maybe I wished it was mine and speaking any truth made it real. I’m not the only man she was with and I can’t have kids. I’m not the dad.” I wish I was. Angus would know what to do. Run after life like it was his last chance at happiness.

“Does it matter? Do you want the woman who kept the child she’s growing? You’re not my son