Here Be Dragons - 1 by Sharon Penman (best inspirational books txt) 📕

swiftly, if not altogether convincingly. "I'°ve Elen dearly. But ... I just cannot understand her as I would like.° matter how I try, there remains a barrier between us, one I've not^n able to breach. With Davydd it's different, mayhap because I see soUcn of myself in him. I know what he is thinking and feeling and reaming; even without words, I know."''And what of the snake in your Eden? What of Gruffydd?" abl a's reaction was a revealing one. Her mouth tightened notice-"£) an" her eyes darkened; at that moment she looked very like John. has iW'^ ke nme m November. Gruffydd is one and twenty . . . and . r§e following amongst Llewelyn's people."ot surprising. He's a handsome youth, and there's something

SOSutterly compelling about his sort of recklessness. It's rather lik ing an avalanche; you do not want to get caught up in it, but fo at<^~ you cannot ignore it, either. You're saying, then, that the Welsh ^^ him as Llewelyn's rightful heir?" 8ardJoanna nodded. "If it were left to the Welsh, it would be no c would beGruffydd by acclamation. And Llewelyn loves him ^ much, puts up with outrageous behavior he'd not tolerate from au^ living soul because of that love. As for Gruffydd, I sometimes think x* hatred of England borders upon madness, for it is so irnpassio PH*so ... so utterly implacable. He despises me, of course, and isWildly jealous of Davydd. You want the truth, Isabelle? I think I was not much angry with Llewelyn over Gwladys as over Gruffydd. You see when Llewelyn led his army into Reginald's lands and then against th' Flemings in Rhos, he was not just risking his own life. He was risking Davydd's, too.""I do not know what to tell you, Joanna," Isabelle said and sighed "I know what John would have said, though. He'd have said this was one of God's more macabre jests. Your son's danger will not cease till the day Gruffydd draws his last breath. Yet Gruffydd lives because of you. John spared him for you, because he thought you wanted that. He'd have sent Gruffydd to the gallows in a trice if you'd only asked . . ." Isabelle sighed again. "I so wish you'd come to him at Oxford, Joanna. It hurt him grievously that you did not.""I could not!" Joanna's face was flaming. "I had no choice, had to put my husband and children first, and I'll not feel guilty about it!""Then why," Isabelle said coldly, "are you so angry?"Joanna said nothing; her throat was suddenly too tight for speech. She turned abruptly away, back toward the window. She was still in profile; Isabelle could see how long it took for the color to fade from her face, and her own anger ebbed away. She reached out, touched Joanna s shoulder. Joanna spun around and they embraced, clung together in one of the most intense yet ephemeral of bonds, the solidarity o shared loss."I'm sorry, Joanna. I never meant to hurt you." Isabelle's cnee wet withJoanna's tears; she wiped them away, gave the y0""^ woman an apologetic hug."But I need to talk about John, and you only" ,e^ei"I cannot." Joanna's voice was muffled, all but inaudible. I cannot..." mon'n5"I know you're grieving. But Joanna, so am I. These las have been the most wretched of my life!" . ^i'J>Joanna had rarely heard Isabelle speak with such emotio ,

509k sincerity, and she felt shame for having assumed Isabella's SUdI would be so easily assuaged g°e, jje nacj begun to pace "John was a a law unto himself, was asv man to understand or to live with Especially these last n0' s But I think I made him happy, and I I loved being his^WJoanna As far back as I can remember, I could turn heads, at-t'tention, but that was only because men found me fair to look113vVhen I was Queen, it was different, I truly mattered People ht to please me, to court my goodwillbecause they knew JohnA me And now now I might as well be a deaf-mute for all the d they pay me Without John, I count for naught ""Surely you exaggerate," Joanna said slowly, and Isabelle gave a vehement shake of her head"I know I'm no Eleanor of Aquitame It never occurred to meor to anyone else, obviouslythat I should act as regent But I ought to have some say in my son's upbringing, and I have none at all Nor will I, as long as Chester and Pembroke have the government They like me not, Joanna, think I'm frivolous and vain and foreign, a bad influence upon Henry Yes, that is what I saidforeign For suddenly my birthplace has become a liability People now look at me askance because my mother is a first cousin to the French King, as if that somehow makes me suspect'"'Isabelle might you not be oversensitive, seeing slights when none was meant7""Then why did the Pope feel the need to issue a stern warning last February, forbidding people to harass me or molest my property and goods'"Joanna's emotions were too ambivalent to allow for dispassionate analysis The realization that Isabelle grieved more for the privileges and prerogatives of queenship than for the man who'd made them possible had done much to sour her sympathy for the other woman And yet she c°uld not help but identify withIsabelle's isolation, her sense of ahenah°n, for she, too, had suffered for the sin of foreign birth wlthI!*belle had st°pped before a small table It was littered with jars, ^ belladonna and kohl and mangold balm, casting-bottles of jasmine a ' Pernjrnes, vials of rosewater, Joanna had never seen such an denlWent Isa^el'e was picking up jars at random, she seemed sudVeij V~and uncnaracteristicallyuncertain Jerking off her wimple and it Wa* e loosened her hair, shook it free about her shoulders Although now to Ot as Pure a