Diary by Chuck Palahniuk (romance novel chinese novels .txt) 📕

Rolling her head back and forth on her pillow, Tabbi says, “No, Mom.” She says, “Granmy Wilmot says Dad never loved you for real. He only pretended love to bring you here and make you stay.”

“To bring me here?” Misty says. “To Waytansea Island?” With two fingers, she scratches off the loose flecks of white paint. The sill underneath is brown varnished wood. Misty says, “What else did your grandmother tell you?”

And Tabbi says, “Granmy says you're going to be a famous artist.”

What you don't learn in art theory is how too big a compliment can hurt more than a slap in the face. Misty, a famous artist. Big fat Misty Wilmot, queen of the fucking slaves.

The white paint is flaking off in a pattern, in words. A wax candle or a finger of grease, maybe gum arabic, it makes a negative message underneath. Somebody a long time ago wrote something invisible here that new paint can't stick to.

Tabbi lifts some strands of her hair and looks at the ends, so close-up her eyes go crossed. She looks at her fingernails and says, “Granmy says we should go on a picnic out on the point.”

The ocean shimmers, bright as the bad costume jewelry Peter wore in art school. Waytansea Point is nothing but black. A void. A hole in everything.

The jewelry you wore in art school.

Misty makes sure the window's locked, and she brushes the loose paint chips into the palm of one hand. In art school, you learn the symptoms of adult lead poisoning include tiredness, sadness, weakness, stupidity—symptoms Misty has had most of her adult life.

And Tabbi says, “Granmy Wilmot says everyone will want your pictures. She says you'll do pictures the summer people will fight over.”

Misty says, “Good night, honey.”

And Tabbi says, “Granmy Wilmot says you'll make us a rich family again.” Nodding her head, she says, “Dad brought you here to make the whole island rich again.”

The paint chips cupped in one hand, Misty turns out the light.

The message on the windowsill, where the paint flaked off, underneath it said, “You'll die when they're done with you.” It's signed Constance Burton.

Flaking off more paint, the message says, “We all do.”

As she bends to turn off the pink china lamp, Misty says, “What do you want for your birthday next week?”

And a little voice in the dark, Tabbi says, “I want a picnic on the point, and I want you to start painting again.”

And Misty tells the voice, “Sleep tight,” and kisses it good night.

July 10

ON THEIR TENTH DATE, Misty asked Peter if he'd messed with her birth control pills.

They were in Misty's apartment. She was working on another painting. The television was on, tuned to a Spanish soap opera. Her new painting was a tall church fitted together out of cut stone. The steeple was roofed with copper tarnished dark green. The stained-glass windows were complicated as spiderwebs.

Painting the shiny blue of the church doors, Misty said, “I'm not stupid.” She said, “A lot of women would notice the difference between a real birth control pill and the little pink cinnamon candies you switched them with.”

Peter had her last painting, the house with the white picket fence, the picture he'd framed, and he'd stuffed it up under his baggy old sweater. Like he was pregnant with a very square baby, he waddled around Misty's apartment. His arms straight down at his sides, he was holding the picture in place with his elbows.

Then fast, he moved his arms a little and the painting dropped out. A heartbeat from the floor, from the glass breaking into a mess, Peter caught it between his hands.

You caught it. Misty's painting.

She said, “What the fuck are you doing?”

And Peter said, “I have a plan.”

And Misty said, “I'm not having kids. I'm going to be an artist.”

On television, a man slapped a woman to the ground and she lay there, licking her lips, her breasts heaving inside a tight sweater. She was supposed to be a police officer. Peter couldn't speak a word of Spanish. What he loved about Spanish soap operas is you could make what people say mean anything.

And stuffing the painting up under his sweater, Peter said, “When?”

And Misty said, “When what?”

The painting dropped out, and he caught it.

“When are you going to be an artist?” he said.

Another reason to love Spanish soap operas was how fast they could resolve a crisis. One day, a man and woman were hacking at each other with butcher knives. The next day, they were kneeling in church with their new baby. Their hands folded in prayer. People accepted the worst from each other, screaming and slapping. Divorce and abortion were just never a plot option.

If this was love or just inertia, Misty couldn't tell.

After she graduated, she said, then she'd be an artist. When she'd put together a body of work and found a gallery to show her. When she'd sold a few pieces. Misty wanted to be realistic. Maybe she'd teach art at the high school level. Or she'd be a technical draftsman or an illustrator. Something practical. Not everybody could be a famous painter.

Stuffing the painting inside his sweater, Peter said, “You could be famous.”

And Misty told him to stop. Just stop.

“Why?” he said. “It's the truth.”

Still watching the television, pregnant with the painting, Peter said, “You have such talent. You could be the most famous artist of your generation.”

Watching some Spanish commercial for a plastic toy, Peter said, “With your gift, you're doomed to be a great artist. School for you is a waste of time.”

What you don't understand, you can make mean anything.

The painting dropped out, and he caught it. He said, “All you have to do is paint.”

Maybe this is why Misty loved him.

Loved you.

Because you believed in her so much more than she did. You expected more from her than she did from herself.

Painting the tiny gold of the church doorknobs, Misty said, “Maybe.” She said, “But