Short Fiction by O. Henry (librera reader txt) π
Description
William Sydney Porter, known to readers as O. Henry, was a true raconteur. As a draftsman, a bank teller, a newspaper writer, a fugitive from justice in Central America, and a writer living in New York City, he told stories at each stop and about each stop. His stories are known for their vivid characters who come to life, and sometimes death, in only a few pages. But the most famous characteristic of O. Henryβs stories are the famous βtwistβ endings, where the outcome comes as a surprise both to the characters and the readers. O. Henryβs work was widely recognized and lauded, so much so that a few years after his death an award was founded in his name to recognize the best American short story (now stories) of the year.
This collection gathers all of his available short stories that are in the U.S. public domain. They were published in various popular magazines of the time, as well as in the Houston Post, where they were not attributed to him until many years after his death.
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- Author: O. Henry
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Brother Wadkins sat in his pew with his eyes rolling and breathing hard, but was taken by surprise and did not respond.
βAnd dar is Elder Hoskins, on de right. Everybody knows heβs er lying, shiftless, beer-drinking bum. His wife supports him takinβ in washinβ. What good is de blood of de Lamb done for him? Wonder ef he thinks dat he kin keep a lofinβ βround in de kitchen ob de New Jerusalem?β
Elder Hoskins, goaded by these charges, rose in his seat, and said:
βDat reminds me ob one thing. I doesnβt remember dat I hab ebber worked on de county road fur thirty days down in Bastrop County fur stealinβ a bale of cotton.β
βWho did? Who did?β said the parson, putting on his specs and glaring at the elder. βWho stole dat cotton? You shet yoβ mouf, niggah, foβ I come down dah and bust you wide open. Den dar sets Miss Jinny Simpson. Look at dem fine cloβes she got on. Look at dem yallar shoes, and dem ostrick feathers, and dat silk waist and de white glubs. Whar she git de money to buy dem cloβes? She donβt work none. De Lawd am got his eye on dat triflinβ hussy, and Heβs gwine ter fling her in de burninβ brimstone and de squenchable pit.β
Miss Simpson arose, her ostrich plumes trembling with indignation.
βYou misβable lyinβ olβ niggah,β she said. βYou donβ pay fur none ob my cloβes. Sβpose you tells dis βsembled congregation who was it handed dat big bouquet and dat jib ob cider ober de fence to Liza Jackson yisterday mawninβ when her old man gone to work?β
βDatβs a lie, you sneakinβ, low-down spyinβ daughter ob de debble. I wuz in my house rasβlin in praβer fur de wicked sisters and brudders ob dis church. I come down dah anβ smack you in de mouf ef you donβt shet up. You is all bounβ for de fire ob destruction. You am all nothinβ but vile sweepins ob de yearth. I see Bill Rodgers ober dar, who am known to hab loaded dice fur playinβ craps, and he nebber pays a cent fur what his family eats. De Lawd am shore gwine ter smote him in de neck. De judgment ob de Spirit am gwine ter rise up anβ call him down.β
Bill Rodgers stood up and put his thumbs in the armholes of his vest. βI could name, sah,β he said, βa certain party who wuz run off ob Colonel Yancyβs fahm foβ playinβ sebben up wid marked cyaβds, ef I choosed to.β
βDatβs anudder lie,β said the preacher, closing his Bible and turning up his cuffs. βLook out, Bill Rodgers, Iβm cominβ down dar to you.β
The preacher got out of his pulpit and made for Bill, but Miss Simpson got her hands in his wool first, and Sam Wadkins and Elder Hoskins came quickly to her assistance. Then the rest of the brothers and sisters joined in, and the flying hymn books and the sound of ripping clothes testified to the fact that Sam Jonesβs style of preaching did not go in that particular church.
Even WorseTwo Houston men were going home one rainy night last week, and as they stumbled and plowed through the mud across one of the principal streets, one of them said:
βThis is hell, isnβt it?β
βWorse,β said the other. βEven hell is paved with good intentions.β
The ShockA man with a very pale face, wearing a woolen comforter and holding a slender stick in his hand, staggered into a Houston drug store yesterday and leaned against the counter, holding the other hand tightly against his breast.
The clerk got a graduating glass, and poured an ounce of spiritus frumenti into it quickly, and handed it to him. The man drank it at a gulp.
βFeel better?β asked the clerk.
βA little. Donβt know when I had such a shock. I can hardly stand. Just a little more, nowβ ββ
The clerk gave him another ounce of whisky.
βMy pulse has started again, I believe,β said the man. βIt was terrible, though!β
βFell off a wagon?β asked the clerk.
βNo, not exactly.β
βSlip on a banana peel?β
βI think not. Iβm getting faint again, if youβ ββ
The obliging clerk administered a third dose of the stimulant.
βStreet car run over you?β he asked.
βNo,β said the pale man. βIβll tell you how it was. See that red-faced man out there swearing and dancing on the corner?β
βYes.β
βHe did it. I donβt believe I can stand up much longer. Iβ βthanks.β
The man tossed off the fourth reviver and began to look better.
βShall I call a doctor?β asked the clerk.
βNo, I guess not. Your kindness has revived me. Iβll tell you about it. I have one of those toy spiders attached to a string at the end of this stick, and I saw that red-faced man sitting on a doorstep with his back to me, and I let the spider down over his head in front of his nose. I didnβt know who he was, then.
βHe fell over backwards and cut his ear on the foot-scraper and broke a set of sixty-dollar false teeth. That man is my landlord and I owe him $37 back rent, and he holds a ten-dollar mortgage on my cow, and has already threatened to break my back. I slipped in here and he hasnβt seen me yet. The shock to my feelings when I saw who it was, was something awful. If you have a little more of that spirits now, Iβ ββ
The CynicJunior Partner: Hereβs an honest firm!
Sharp and Simpson send us a check for $50 in addition to their monthly account, to cover difference in price of a higher grade of goods shipped them last time by mistake.
Senior Partner: Do they give us another order?
Junior Partner: Yes! The
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