The Man Who Wasn't All There by David Handler (book recommendations website TXT) 📕

your vitals were stable. They rigged up the portable stretcher and carried you down the mountain with Lulu riding on your chest. You’re pretty slim, but she’s, well, one of the guys called her a bowling ball with ears. They had to take turns spelling each other on stretcher detail.’

‘I can’t thank those men enough.’

‘Nor can I,’ said Merilee, squeezing my hand.

‘No thanks are needed. This is what they train for when they join the volunteer fire department.’

‘Nonetheless, I promise them a special treat for this year’s Christmas party – Merilee in a shimmering gown doing her imitation of Rita Hayworth singing, “Put the Blame on Mame” from the movie Gilda. Trust me, it’s a real crowd pleaser.’

‘Darling, I’m not sure I can fit in any of those shimmering gowns anymore.’

‘Nonsense, you’re as svelte as a schoolgirl.’

‘I take it you haven’t seen many schoolgirls lately.’

‘The EMT was waiting in the parking lot to bring you here,’ Jim Conley went on. ‘And Gas drove Lulu straight to Dr Jen’s veterinary clinic.’

‘Will her paws be OK?’ I asked, stroking her head.

‘Dr Jen said if you’d been in those woods another night it would have been touch and go, but she’s optimistic. Soaked Lulu’s paws in a tub of disinfecting soap and shot her full of antibiotics. Wants to see her in a couple of days.’

‘I’ll take her in,’ Merilee promised.

I glanced at her in surprise. ‘Don’t you have to go back to Budapest?’

‘Not until I’m sure that you’re both OK.’

‘I contacted the M.E. and Major Crime squad,’ Jim Conley went on. ‘The M.E. and crime scene technicians had a long drive plus the long climb, so they weren’t able to spend as much time up there as they wanted to. But the body’s been removed and the techies will return to continue their work tomorrow. A homicide lieutenant’s been assigned to the case. He’ll want to talk to you when you’re up to it. Carmine Tedone’s his name. Says he knows you.’

‘Yes, we’re well acquainted with the lieutenant,’ Merilee said sweetly.

‘Indeed we are. It’ll be just like déjà vu all over again. I gather that the M.E. thinks the murder weapon was a folding knife.’

He nodded. ‘His preliminary exam indicates a folding knife approximately three and a half inches long, often referred to as a hunting knife. They plan to undertake a thorough search for it at the crime scene first thing tomorrow.’

I suddenly felt the room start to spin again. I tried, and failed, to keep my eyes open.

‘I guess I wore him out,’ I heard the resident trooper say to Merilee apologetically.

‘Not to worry,’ she said. ‘You had to do your job.’

I wanted to thank him again for his help, but I wasn’t there anymore. I was somewhere else.

Gone.

FIVE

Dr Eng said I was well enough to go home the next morning. I’d slept most of the night, awakening once with a terrible headache. A nurse came in and gave me some Tylenol and checked my blood pressure and pulse rate. I was still hooked up to two drip bags, I noticed as I drifted back to sleep. I also noticed that Lulu wasn’t there when I reached for her. Merilee must have taken her home with her.

When the early morning light came through the window a different nurse came in to unhook me from the drip bags, slap a bandage on the inside of my forearm and raise my bed so that I was sitting up. She removed the bandages from my fingers, examined them and replaced them with a couple of Band-aids. Then she brought me a breakfast tray laden with two beverages that tasted vaguely like orange juice and coffee, a plate of cold, pale scrambled eggs and cold white toast. I managed two forkfuls of eggs and one bite of toast, but I still didn’t have much of an appetite. Plus I’m totally spoiled by the farm’s fresh eggs. These tasted like they’d originated in a laboratory, not a chicken. I shoved the tray aside and sat there. I still felt foggy, but at least the room wasn’t spinning, which I considered a major improvement.

Dr Eng agreed with my assessment after she’d shone a light in my eyes and peppered me with questions to test my state of mental acuity, such as ‘Can you spell “world” backwards?’ Honestly, I would have had trouble with that one even on the best of mornings. But when I aced it she told me she was going to discharge me – although she did want to see me again tomorrow.

Merilee arrived soon after that to take me home. ‘Good morning, darling!’ she exclaimed, brimming with good cheer as she fetched my clothes from their locker. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Like I have the Godzilla of hangovers. Where’s Lulu? She OK?’

‘She’s fine, not to worry. Waiting for you out in the car.’

I got out of bed, still feeling rubber legged. Merilee steadied me by the arm as I ditched my hospital gown and climbed into my boxer shorts and torn jeans. I had no problem managing my T-shirt and Viyella shirt by myself. I sat down and put my socks on with no problem either – until I got dizzy from bending over. She knelt and gave me a hand with my Chippewas. After I’d put on my flight jacket the nurse came in with my discharge papers and a wheelchair. Merilee wheeled me to the elevator, chattering about how balmy it felt outside compared to late October in Budapest. As we rode down to the first floor everyone else in the elevator gaped at her – a movie star – in total awe.

‘I’m afraid that you and the beach club shooting victim made the morning news,’ she said, wheeling me to the main entrance. ‘I encountered some TV news crews when I pulled into the parking lot here. When they spotted me their interest meter shot way up. I phoned Jim Conley. He promised me he’d station a trooper at the