A Subtle Breeze by Bailey Bradford (libby ebook reader .txt) 📕

a slow, deep breath, but the adrenaline and panic had him gasping as his lungs seemed to clench tight. Hands fluttered over his chest, down to his belly as Brendon continued chanting to Zeke, encouraging him to relax and try again. He tried again, and this time when it felt as though his airway was going to close off, Zeke pushed harder, willing himself to fill his lungs with air. The next breath was slightly easier, as was each that followed until finally, he lay back against Brendon, who had somehow managed to wedge himself between Zeke and the headboard. Brendon massaged Zeke’s trembling muscles, murmuring soothing words of reassurance even after Zeke’s body settled, relaxed in his lover’s warmth.

“Tell me,” Brendon asked, and there was no way Zeke could, or would, deny the man. Zeke wanted the intimacy with him, wanted Brendon to know all of him, good and bad. He wanted, he realized, for Brendon to accept him and love him, just as Zeke accepted and loved him. He clutched at Brendon’s hand, twining their fingers together and pressing them against his chest. Jesus, he loved this man so much it made his heart ache.

“You know that I was jumped years back. Sometimes it’s that, sometimes it’s just about going into town itself, some things that happened there, I guess. Maybe it’s a mix, you know? Tonight, it was about being…assaulted. Probably from all the death and suffering here at the ranch today, so it just sort of sent me back.” Zeke kept his eyes shut as he spoke, but felt Brendon’s answering nod. “Well, by the time I was jumped, I was already staying away from town for the most part—too many times I’d come in and Eva would catch me somewhere and start going on about how I was going to burn in hell. Walking away wasn’t always successful as many a time she would grab at me or follow me so she could keep up her spiel.”

Brendon growled. “Didn’t anyone ever step in and tell her to shut the fuck up?”

Zeke couldn’t not grin, not when he was listening to his man get all snarly for him. Made him feel plumb special. “Most people just looked the other way, unless it was Mama or Enessa. Sometimes Elizabeth, but she tends to live in her own little world. The afternoon I was attacked, it was me, Elizabeth and Nessa in town. I’d gone into the feed store while the girls went to the café. That’s where they overheard a group of men talking about what they were going to do when they caught me out alone.” Zeke fought back a shudder, trying to concentrate on just telling it rather than reliving the whole thing. He was aware Brendon was holding himself perfectly still, as though he was afraid any movement might stop Zeke from continuing.

“Anyway, when I walked out from the feed store, I was pulled around to the side of the building. Had enough time to count four men with bandanas tied over part of their faces before they started in on me. It was mostly fists, I thought, until I saw that pipe swinging down low, felt it hit me. That sound, metal cracking bone…sometimes I still hear it.” Zeke shook his head, his stomach clenching. Remembering that sound alone was enough to give him nightmares sometimes.

Brendon didn’t offer him any platitudes or stilted sympathetic words, for which Zeke was grateful. Instead, his lover just held him, petting him with hands that conveyed more than any words possibly could. Zeke closed his eyes for a moment, just letting himself be soothed by the loving touches, finding some sense of peace before he continued.

“It was right after that, right after I went down, that Nessa and Elizabeth came screaming across the street, scared those four men off and saved my life.”

It was a cleaner, easier version of what had happened, but it was the best he could do, because delving too deeply into that memory caused more pain than he could handle. And it wasn’t as if there were words to describe what it felt like to be beaten and reviled by four cowards who didn’t even have the balls to show their faces.

“So they got away, after what they did to you. Just took off and never had to pay for it.” Brendon’s soft voice didn’t fool Zeke. The man was furious on his behalf.

“Yeah, they did, but I fully believe they’ll answer for it one way or another. I have to believe there’s some sort of justice in this world.”

“You may be right, Zeke, but I’d much rather bigoted assholes like that face the consequences of their actions pretty swiftly. Why didn’t anyone in this town do anything about it? Why didn’t they do something about your sister harassing you?” Brendon’s arms tightened around Zeke, anger making them constrict more than was comfortable. Zeke tapped at his lover’s arms, fearing if the man got any angrier, he’d soon be squeezed breathless.

“I’m sorry, sorry.” Brendon loosened his grip but didn’t release Zeke from his arms. “It’s just…that they got away with it, your sister included, Zeke. It just drives me crazy. I don’t understand it.”

Zeke understood. It was a small-town mentality thing, probably hard for people who grew up in big cities to comprehend. “Brendon, it’s just…different in a town like this, where everyone knows everyone. I wouldn’t press charges for the assault—I’ve already explained why. Remember, this years ago and laws have changed since then, but regardless, this is still a small town, probably slower to change than a big city. As for what happened with Eva… Well, it was more like a family dispute, I guess, and people didn’t want to interfere. Then there was the fact, is the fact, that she’s married to the son of a preacher at one of the churches here. Add to that the point that she’s a woman and I’m a man—a gay man at that—and