Lucky Girl by Jamie Pacton (novels for beginners txt) 📕

“Was it his private jet you went on?” I ask, thinking back to what Holden told Bran, Sofie, and me a few days ago.

“Yep.” Holden scrolls through more pictures and stops on one of an actual golden toilet. “This is the golden toilet in Finn’s Upper East Side apartment.”

“Unbelievable. Did you use it?”

“Yes.”

I snort. “Was it a revelation?”

“No. It was mostly just uncomfortable.”

“And wildly unethical to have such a thing, given the fact that millions of people are starving all over the world.”

Holden shrugs. “That too, I guess. But money can do good as well. Especially if you have a lot of it. I mean, look at the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.”

It occurs to me that if I do somehow cash this lotto ticket, I could, indeed, spend millions on a toilet. Or do lots of good in the world.

“So, tell me more about Finn,” I say. Later, I’ll think about what I could do with this money. Right now, I just want to keep Holden talking. “Are you still friends?”

Holden shrugs. “Sort of. He’s nice enough, once you get to know him. His mom runs one of the biggest hedge funds on Wall Street and his dad is a CEO of another investment firm. His parents own a whole floor of a building.”

“A whole floor? What does that even mean?”

Holden swipes to another picture on his phone. This one is of a gorgeous dark-paneled library with a view of Central Park. “Exactly what it sounds like. Their apartment takes up the entire floor, and it’s outrageous. Italian marble everywhere, a staff of people to clean things up, and their own pool on the roof. They also have houses all over the world.”

“And that’s the life you want?”

“It is.”

Holden’s family isn’t rich, but they’re solidly middle class. His mom is a nurse and his dad runs the local hardware store, which has been in the family for three generations. Sure, Holden has been working at the store since he was fourteen, but he’s never wanted for anything, and he’s got a room full of electronics.

I turn so I’m facing Holden. “But, I mean, you do know Finn’s life is a fantasy, right? It’s not all good, and that much money can bring so many problems.”

Holden puts his phone into his sweatshirt pocket. “Yeah, but at least with that much money I can pay someone to fix my problems.”

“Sure, okay. Rich assholes get away with all sorts of things every day. Don’t be like them.”

Holden turns so he’s facing me too. Our knees touch, and he runs one finger along the top of my leg. “I’m not going to be that kind of rich guy, I promise. I was just thinking more along the lines of never having to worry about money again. Or if someone I love gets sick, I’ll have enough money to help them. Or I’ll be able to pay for Harper’s college and my parents’ retirement.”

His touch sends shivers through me, but I try to focus on what we’re talking about. “While also possibly having a golden toilet of your very own.”

Holden laughs. “I’m not going to get a golden toilet. But I will live well, see the world, and help people too.”

These aren’t the worst reasons for wanting to be rich. What would happen if I gave Holden the lotto ticket? Would he blow it all on a yacht? Could he actually bring himself to give me the money? Or even if we split the money, would it be so bad to help make some of his dreams come true?

Silence stretches between us for a long moment.

“I still can’t believe you broke up with me because some kids you’ll probably never see again were mean to you,” I say, breaking the silence. As soon as the words are out, I want to push them back in.

Holden winces, as if my words actually slapped him. “I’m sorry about that, Jane. I really am. I came back super confused and feeling like I wanted more than what I had.”

“But we were good, weren’t we?”

“We were.” He slips his hand into mine.

As I snake my fingers through his, I have to wonder: Can I trust him to not break my heart again?

I don’t know, but I suspect Holden is the type of person for whom having some small part of happiness is never enough. I think he’ll always want more stuff, more friends, more excitement, more lovers, and more money. But can having more stuff or more people or more experiences truly make a person happy? Or will they always be moving on to the next new thing?

I don’t know the answer to any of those questions. But they’re certainly ones that have been keeping me up at night, as I’ve considered whether cashing the lottery ticket will bring me happiness or misery.

“So, not to change subjects too much,” Holden says softly, his body leaning into mine as the boat sways. “But it’s wild about that lottery ticket, isn’t it?”

I jolt away, pulling my hand out of his. It’s too much like he’s reading my mind. “Yeah, it’s unbelievable.”

“Is Bran still investigating?”

I try to steady my breathing, willing myself not to give anything away. “He is, and I’m helping a bit. I was asking around at the festival tonight.”

“Find anything yet?” Holden’s voice is eager, laced with curiosity or something else.

I don’t know what to tell him. There’s really nothing to tell at this point, other than my own secret. And I’m not ready to spill that yet. Before I can get my thoughts together, a crack of lightning splits the night.

“Oh shit,” Holden exclaims. “That was really close. We should—”

The boom of thunder that follows drowns out his voice.

And then the sky opens up like someone overturned a huge bucket of water. Holden and I both jump to our feet.

“We’ve got to get off the lake!” I yell. Rain lashes at me.

Holden is at the steering wheel, firing