A Closed Heart by Oster, Camille (acx book reading txt) 📕

*

The house was mayhem as both Octavia and Eliza prepared to leave. There was so much to organize. Children made it difficult to travel, because not only did they require a multitude of things, but they also required preparation for the actual journey. Mr. Fuller was running ragged.

“I hardly have the stomach to eat,” Octavia said as she sat down at the table for breakfast. “My youngest has been fussing all morning. She knows something is happening and she objects. Hopefully she’ll sleep on the journey.”

Julius was sitting with the paper, seemingly ignoring them. “Takes after her mother then. Just desserts, I say.”

Octavia rolled her eyes at him. “We should come stay more often. If it will avoid you becoming a cantankerous old man sitting in this house all by yourself, then it would be worth the effort.”

“I’m not by myself. Jane is here to scrutinize me in finest detail.”

“I wish you wouldn’t at the same time be so utterly childish.”

The statement left Julius silent. Perhaps the dynamic between him and his sister wasn’t something either of them wanted, but neither of them knew how to change. There was a juvenile tone it in, and both were responsible for it. They fed off each other in a bad way.

“Perhaps you both need to stop picking on each other,” Jane suggested.

“He needs someone to pick on him. How’s he ever going to change otherwise?” Octavia said.

“I don’t need to change.”

“Your marriage has ended, but you won’t acknowledge it. You hide in this house.”

“I prefer to be in this house.”

“You need a better relationship with your son.”

That one Julius didn’t appreciate, and he folded his newspaper down and left the room in protest.

“It’s true,” Octavia said as if trying to convince Jane. “The man in encasing himself in ice, and his son needs him not to.”

Unfortunately, Jane had to agree. It wasn’t her business to pass judgement on her clients—not that she’d entirely stuck to that virtue. All the things Octavia said were true, but her delivery irked her brother. Perhaps irking him was the only way he actually heard it. It would simply be dismissed otherwise.

“He knows you care for him,” Jane said.

“He wishes I just let him stick his head in the sand and ignore the whole world. Caius is no help whatsoever. It’s all laissez faire with him. Julius needs to change or he’s going to sit here for the rest of his life, married to a woman who left ages ago. I know he doesn’t appreciate my meddling. Simply change and you won’t hear me go on about it. It’s not that difficult.”

“Maybe he just needs to get there in his own time.”

“He’ll do nothing if he’s given rein to.”

“What’s this?” Eliza asked, appearing in the dining room. She picked a piece of bread and buttered it.

“Is that all you’re eating?” Octavia challenged.

“My stomach tolerates little when I travel. I don’t want to spend the trip reacquainting myself with my breakfast every mile.”

Outside the window, Mr. Fuller was directing the footmen as they loaded trucks on the back of the carriages.

“If I end up with any of your things, I will send them to you,” Octavia said. “I swear after house parties, I end up with all sorts of things that aren’t mine. I never take my most valuable things anymore. Granted, I don’t really go to house parties of late. I should perhaps go herd the children down to the carriage. It looks like our trunks are loaded.”

“I won’t be far behind you,” Eliza said. “I lived here for a while when I was first married.” Before things had fallen apart. “It had seemed like a full house then. You will be alright here?” she asked, looking at Jane furtively.

“His lordship has been very considerate.” Except now he was attracted to her. In all honesty, she had seen nothing of Julius when he was interested in a woman, but her experience with him had been limited.

“He can be a little grumpy, but don’t take that to heart.”

“I find it serves me best to never worry about grumpy men and what they do.”

“Good,” Eliza said and grabbed her hand. “It’s good to see you again. We missed you when you left. I hope you’ll come visit us at some point.”

Frankly, Jane didn’t see an occasion where she would, but it could be that she passed that way on some commission—not that she planned to take any commissions again for a while. “Of course,” she said. Perhaps this friendship meant more to Eliza than Jane realized, but then, Eliza was a genuinely caring person. She cared about everyone, so it wouldn’t serve to read too much into her kindness.

“Now, I must gather my children too. If we don’t leave soon, we might have to travel after dusk, and I don’t like to do that. It’s much too dangerous—particularly with children in the carriage.”

“I think you’re right,” Jane said and rose when Eliza did. Jane stayed downstairs until both Eliza and Octavia were ready to depart. It was mayhem with hugs and kisses. They treated her as almost part of the family, which hurt her heart a little. Julius too, who was even more awkward receiving the affection.

And then they bundled their families into their carriages, and they were off. Atticus stood by the door, watching them go.

“We should close the door, Atticus, or the house will freeze,” Julius said. It seemed the boy would miss his cousins, but he closed the door as asked.

There was a moment of awkwardness that engulfed all three of them.

“Octavia did offer for you to go visit them in summer,” Julius said after the silence stretched, and the boy smiled. “Do well in your studies. Off you go.” The man truly was awkward around his child.