IMPURITY by Ray Clark (which ebook reader txt) 📕

since finished, Gardener and the minister had made themselves comfortable in the living room. Dimmed wall lights and the soft music had created a relaxed atmosphere. She’d talked about her job and he’d listened intently, but he still didn’t know a lot about the real person behind the collar.

“What really influenced your decision to become a minister?” asked Gardener.

“My aunt,” Jacqueline paused. “Well, I call her my aunt, but she’s my great aunt really. She’s my grandmother’s sister, not my mother’s.

“I’d like you to meet her, Stewart. She’s been a tower of strength to me since my mother passed away. I think you’d like each other. She’s lived her entire life according to the Bible. But one thing she doesn’t do is force her opinions on you. On anyone, really.

“I was angry when my mother died. I blamed everyone, including myself. Sometimes I thought she’d died because of me, because of something I’d done. I couldn’t work out what. It’s funny the things you think when you’re a child. If your parents argue and they mention your name, you think you’ve caused it. My aunt pulled me through.”

Jacqueline sipped her wine. “She was only a baby when the family left Romania and came to England. They had no money, nowhere to live, but above all, they knew God would look after them. When I realized how much strength and conviction her faith had given her, I knew that it could work for me. She leads a very simple life, asks nothing of anyone, and she’s so happy. When that finally sunk in, I knew it was what I wanted. To be just like her.”

Jacqueline filled his empty wine glass without asking if he wanted more.

“You’ve never mentioned your father,” said Gardener. “Is he still alive?”

“I haven’t seen him for years. I’ve never forgiven him for the nasty things he said and did after my mother died. He was awful to me. I think he blamed me for her death. He used to shout at me, hit me, criticize me for the slightest thing. Which is how I ended up with a chipped tooth and a broken little finger.” She held her left hand aloft for him to see. “I think he wanted me to take my mother’s place, be everything she was. How could I? I was only ten years old. I could barely make toast, yet he expected his meals to be there.”

“Didn’t your aunt help?”

“I don’t think she was aware of what was going on. He tried to keep a lid on everything. Kept us apart, instead of bringing us together so we could all help each other. He was selfish, manipulative. Sly. He never truly learned to love someone, not even my mother.”

“When did you go and live with your aunt?”

“When I was thirteen. My mother had been dead three years. My father spent too much time at work to notice me. He had nothing but his precious newspaper.”

“He was a journalist?”

“I think he started as a tea boy and worked his way up. The period of time I’m talking about, he was the owner. Don’t ask me how. I’ve no idea where the money came from to buy the newspaper. He always said we were broke. I was never given pocket money. He didn’t seem to trust me with the housekeeping. Can you imagine how embarrassed I was when I needed items of personal hygiene? I couldn’t take any more.”

Jacqueline sat in silence, perhaps composing herself. “He never came to see me. Do you know I never even had a birthday card from him?” Her eyes filled with tears. “So, you see, no mother, no father.”

“It must have been hard.”

“Which is why I looked towards my aunt. She was my mother, in every sense of the word.”

Jacqueline smiled. “My aunt always claimed she had more children than any other woman alive. She’s a walking encyclopaedia on plants. She has them all over the house and calls them her children.”

Gardener laughed loudly. “She should meet my father. They’d get on like a house on fire.”

He finished his wine. Jacqueline fetched another bottle from the kitchen. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“No. But I’m relaxed, I’m enjoying our evening together, and I’d like it to continue.”

He didn’t comment, so she poured another, before asking: “So, your father is a plant man?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe it. He found something he wanted out of life and stuck with it. He inherited the business from his father. Apparently, my grandfather was a workaholic. Ran himself into an early grave. My grandmother took the business on and eventually passed it down to my father. He’s retired now, but you still can’t get him out of the greenhouse. Even in winter!”

“Your father and my aunt should definitely meet.” Jacqueline paused, hesitated before continuing. “When we were laughing earlier, about your father and my aunt being a good match, maybe we are.”

That one comment completely turned his mood. His stomach flipped. His legs weakened.

If he managed to keep his food down, it would be a bonus. It was the one thing he’d been terrified of hearing.

Jacqueline took his hand and stood up. She was obviously expecting him to do the same.

He did, but his emotions were all over the place. Any red-blooded man would have jumped at the chance the minister was offering. But he wasn’t any man.

Her expression grew concerned. “What’s wrong?”

A little over a year had passed since Sarah’s death. He had never allowed his thoughts to stray from her memory. She had meant the world to him. Still did. The situation between him and Jacqueline wasn’t right. She wanted more than he could give.

“Is it me?” she asked.

He had only ever made love to Sarah. She had been his only partner. He simply couldn’t deal with what Jacqueline was asking