The Sharpest Kiss by Elizabeth Myles (the false prince .txt) 📕

think I saw? That nice, smooth patch of dirt where we’ve been keeping her all these years? Wasn’t so nice and smooth anymore. Now it’s just a big ol’ empty crater. I’d show you the footage but…” he waved at the mess cluttering the floor. “They sort of demolished all my computers. Anyway, once I was done soiling myself, I was about to call you, Nathan, when, bam, the two Snacks just sauntered through my hidden door like they owned the place. They trashed the joint and started working me over. Caught me by surprise, I’ll tell ya what.”

“How did they get in?” Nathan asked. “The front door was locked when we arrived. And the wall panel was still in place in front of your office entrance.”

“Yeah, I don’t know,” Kiefer said, but a guilty look had stolen over his face.

Nathan’s brows lowered. “You did not set the alarm, did you? How many times have I told you—”

“To set the stupid alarm when I’m here by myself, yeah, yeah, I know,” Kiefer grumbled, holding up his hands. “Well, lesson learned, alright? Anyway, I guess they must’ve picked the lock and then brought down my ward somehow. They probably used a spell to lock the doors again when they left, maybe hoping nobody would notice anything weird.”

“I am sorry,” Nathan said, looking contrite again. “This is my fault.”

Kiefer shrugged. “Eh. Celia was pretty pissed when we buried her. We always knew it was a possibility she’d come back and try to kill us for it. A pretty unlikely possibility, but still…”

“Someone had to have helped her escape,” Nathan said. “Who would do such a thing?”

“I shudder to think. Maybe one of her get? Finding out who’s responsible should probably be our next order of business, though.” Kiefer’s gaze went to the trio of women standing over them. “After we help your friends, here, that is.” He held a hand out to Nathan, who helped him to his feet. “Hello, ladies,” he said, dusting his jeans and straightening his t-shirt, “how y’all doing?”

Lucy and Dara murmured bashful responses, offering him their names. Jessica stuck out her hand and stepped forward. “Hi. I’m Jessica Ramos.”

Kiefer grinned at her, revealing a charming dimple in his blood-streaked face. “Hey, there,” he said, pumping her hand. “Name’s Grant Clayton. At your service.”

“Clayton?” Jessica’s brow wrinkled. “But I thought your name was Kiefer?”

“You can call me that if you want. Lots of folks do. But it’s not my real name, just a handle I use online, when I’m researching vampire stuff.”

Jessica’s eyes lit up. “Is it because of Kiefer Sutherland? Because of The Lost Boys?”

Kiefer said, “No, although other people have thought that, too. I’m actually just a big Rolling Stones fan. You know, Keef Richards…Keef Fan…People started calling me Keefer and I started spelling it with an ‘I’…it’s just sort of morphed over the years, the way these things tend to do.”

Now Jessica’s eyes were practically twinkling. “I love the Rolling Stones!” she gushed. “I have a tongue logo tattoo!”

One of Kiefer’s eyebrows went up, his expression sharpening to one of keen interest. “That so?” He looked her up and down. “And whereabouts might that be located?”

Jessica chuckled. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Well, I’ll tell you this much,” he said, the crooked grin never leaving his mouth, “I certainly wouldn’t turn down the chance to find out.”

Jessica gasped, but his comments had clearly delighted her. Spots of color arose on her cheeks, and she pointed at him with a teasing grin. “You,” she said, “are trouble!”

“I have heard that once or twice in my life before,” he drawled.

“Yeah, I’ll bet.” She sidled closer to him.

Kiefer sauntered in closer to her, too, his mouth opening to say something else.

“Ahem,” Nathan cleared his throat, coughing into his fist.

Kiefer took a step back. He turned to Nathan with a sheepish smile and held up his hands again. “Oh, sorry, man, I wasn’t trying to move in on your Kool-Aid or anything. Sometimes I just forget to, you know, turn it off.”

Jessica’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m not anyone’s Kool-aid,” she said. Then, glancing at Nathan hopefully, “Am I?”

The vampire seemed at a loss, opening and closing his mouth without saying anything.

Dara elbowed Lucy and said, “Look. We just learned another fact about vampires. Apparently, they can blush. A lot.”

Lucy looked at Nathan, who had indeed turned an impressive shade of coral. But now his eyes blazed, and his lips curled back. He bared his fangs at the women, making a horrible hissing noise from the back of his throat.

“Ahhh!” They squealed and jumped away from him.

Nathan closed his mouth with a snap, glaring at them.

“Was that really necessary?” Jessica demanded, clutching at her heart.

“I obviously needed to remind you all of how serious this situation is,” Nathan groused, and Lucy noticed he was avoiding Jessica’s eyes. “Now. Ladies. I know that you have all read many books and seen numerous  films featuring them, but real-life vampires bear scarce resemblance to what you may have gleaned about them from fiction. These beings are monstrous, far deadlier than they are often portrayed, and if your friends have been turned into them, then we do not have any time to waste by standing around lollygagging.” He looked from Lucy to Dara and barked, “You two. Report to me how your men have been faring of late.”

“Um,” Dara swallowed and shot a glance at Lucy. “They both seem to have gotten over the flu-like symptoms they were having.”

“Y-yeah,” Lucy said. “Now they’re both just sleeping a lot.”

Nathan looked concerned. “We must move quickly, then. Kiefer, you said you’d mixed up the elixir I’d asked you to prepare, just in case?”

“Just in case of what?” Jessica asked.

“In case you were telling the truth,” Kiefer answered, “and your friends really had been bitten and turned by a vampire.”

Jessica turned an insulted look on Nathan. “You really didn’t believe me?”

“Vampires are extremely rare creatures,” he said, “and masters, capable of turning people, even more so.”

“Yeah, but you