Wicked Whoopie Pies by Addison Moore (english novels to improve english TXT) 📕

We order a round of drinks, and just as those are delivered, Mom lifts her colorful concoction into the air. “To the birthday boy, Wiley Fox”—Mom gives a curt nod for the rest of us to join in—“we have to make it look good. They’re comping the baked beans and he might get the brownie ice cream tower.” The rest of us look lost for a moment before picking up our drinks and raising our glasses in the air. She nods as she hikes her glass a notch higher. “Wiley, you are the most loving, wonderful, exciting man I know.”

I suppose if my mother chooses to believe those delusions, then God help her because no one on earth is equipped to do it.

“And the wiliest,” I add, and the rest of the table cheers while Wiley and my mother share a kiss—which quickly escalates to an all-out smooch session.

Suddenly, my appetite for smoked meat dissipates faster than an ice cube on a hot New York sidewalk.

I look to Everett. “Now I know how Evie feels.”

Noah leans in. “Now you know how I feel.” He motions to Everett and me.

I guess he’s got me there.

Charlie nudges my mother. “Why don’t you tell Lottie about those men?”

“What men?” I ask, suddenly hopeful that there are other prospective suitors on the horizon for my mother.

Mom sets down her drink and shudders as Wiley rubs her arms as if he were comforting her.

“Mother, what happened?” I ask in a panic.

“Oh, it’s nothing.” She gives an apprehensive glance his way. “It’s just I’ve noticed that a couple of men in dark suits have been appearing wherever I go. I mean, I don’t recognize them. They’re not guests at the B&B. And yet I’ve seen them at least six times now. Don’t you think that’s odd?”

“What are they doing?” Everett asks, genuinely worried for my poor mother.

“They’re just, I don’t know, there. I can’t shake the feeling that they’re following me.”

Noah tips his head back and shoots his father a look that threatens to be lethal. The muscles in his jaw redefine themselves, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say he looks as if he’s fit to kill.

“Thank you for letting us know, Miranda.” Noah’s chest expands the size of a door. “I’ll be sure to keep my eye on them. I’ll send a patrol car to circle the B&B for you as well.”

“I appreciate that.” She leans in. “Say, you don’t think they’re government agents, do you?” She frowns over at Wiley. “I just knew I shouldn’t have let you talk me into going to one of those UFO conventions a couple weeks back. The feds probably think we know too much now.”

I shake my head at her. “You shouldn’t have let him talk you into a lot of things, Mother.”

She flicks her wrist my way. “Don’t you start with that whole B&B thing again. I sold that place of my own volition.”

“And I’m working very hard to help you rectify your error.” I shed a quick grin as I toast her with my drink.

“Don’t you worry,” Everett tells her. “We’ll get Cormack to give up her share of the B&B sooner than later.”

Carlotta takes a breath. “That girl is harder to get rid of than a tick on a hog’s bottom.”

“At least we have a respite from her now.” I lift my glass.

“Big Boss!” That familiar shrill lets me know I’ve spoken too soon.

“Don’t look now, Lot.” Carlotta nods to something behind me. “But that tick has come to suckle off her Hungarian hog.”

“Cormack?” I growl as she dives over Noah in three seconds flat. Her blonde mane looks freshly blown out and she’s wearing an airy pink chiffon dress that looks more prom night than it does night at the local barbecue pit. “What are you doing here?”

Carlotta ticks her head to the side. “Miranda’s got her stalkers and Foxy’s got his. Face it, Lot, her Fox radar is on point.”

“I invited her,” Charlie says as Cormack falls onto her next and they share a hearty embrace. “And, Cormack knows that Noah is off-limits.”

“That’s right, Leanne.” Cormack winks my way as she then falls into the seat between Noah and my shiny new sister. “Charlie and I are thick as thieves.”

A choking sound evicts from me. For as long as I’ve known Cormack, she has never once bothered to get my name straight—and if she had, I have no recollection of it.

Wiley clears his throat and his neck stretches to the right and left as if he can’t breathe. I’m not too shocked by the discomfort on his face. Noah is still giving him a look that could smother him.

“Lottie?” Wiley offers a smile my way. “How is the case?”

“Ha!” Charlie laughs in Noah’s direction. “Your own father even acknowledges the true detective in charge.”

Noah smacks his lips, because clearly he is not impressed with my sister’s road map to common sense.

“That would be me.” Cormack nods at her own lunacy. “You see, in addition to biweekly talk show host duties, Getting Candid with Cormack, I run my own detective agency, Featherby Sleuths Investigative Services.”

“Excuse me.” I lean toward the Featherhead in question. “Did you say biweekly talk show? Getting Candid with Candace was taped Monday through Friday.”

“And what’s your point, Lee Lee?” Cormack looks indifferent that I spoke in the first place. “My show, my rules. Besides, I’ve got a day spa to run, couture to purchase, and parties where I imbibe copious amounts of champagne. I don’t have time for all the silliness the universe would like to fling my way.”

“Like a solid paycheck,” I mutter. “And I bet the rest of the crew misses that as well, now that their hours have been cut in half.”

“Oh hush, you,” she’s quick to reprimand. “They found another host to take my place the other six days of the week. Working long hours into the morning isn’t my strong suit.”

Apparently, neither is math.

A spray of miniature