BLAZE: Enemies to Lovers College Hockey Romance by Eddie Cleveland (ebook reader macos .txt) 📕

I want to feel the hot puff of his breath on my skin, his naked body pressed against mine, and his cock stretching me around him. He starts to slide his hand down, the edges of his fingers easing under the waistband of my jeans, and a shiver of anticipation travels through every single nerve in my body.

People talk about their souls meeting or meshing or melting. I’ve never experienced anything like that. I’m not sure if it’s my soul craving this connection, but whatever it is, it’s deep inside me. It’s more than thoughts and feelings. It feels like I’ve been holding my breath, and my lungs might burst if I don’t gasp for the air I so desperately need. It’s the same ache of starvation I’d feel if I didn’t eat for ten days. Except in my heart.

“Not here.” I put my hands on his chest and he steps back.

He nods, unzipping his jacket and stepping out of his boots. We don’t bother hanging up our things. We dump it all on the floor, my shoes included, and quickly make our way up the stairs to my room. As soon as my bedroom door clicks shut behind us, Blaze kisses me again, but this time there’s no wall to hold me against. This time, he slowly walks me back toward my bed, but I stop in front of my dresser.

“We can’t.” I breathe the words. Hating that they formed in my mind, that they forced themselves from my mouth, that they filled the space between us and made all of this grind to a sudden stop.

Even when every single part of me is begging for me to let go, there’s that little nagging voice in the back of my mind. I hate that stupid voice. “You’re high.” I meet his eyes.

“How is that any different from last time?” Blaze doesn’t sound defensive or angry, just genuinely confused.

“Last time we were drinking together. We were both tipsy, and neither one of us was drunk.” If this is logic, I wish logic would shut the fuck up. “You’re not thinking clearly, and I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re high.” It didn’t shut up.

Blaze laughs, but stops when I don’t. “You’re serious?”

“Yeah.” I nod.

“Do you have any idea how much tolerance I have? Trust me, I’m not high.”

He backs up a bit, giving me some space. I immediately regret my words, even though I know they’re the right ones.

“Listen, what I told you before, about Logan being the white sheep…”

“Yeah?” I cringe, wishing I never made that joke about him and his brother.

“Hey, don’t feel bad. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I’m sorry, okay?” Blaze puts his hand flat on the top of my dresser and leans leans against it.

“Okay.” I nod. It doesn’t erase the awful feeling, but it helps numb it a bit.

“Even though he was Mr. Walk-on-Water, it never bothered me. Like, I wasn’t jealous of Logan. It sounds cheesy I guess, but he was actually my hero.” His voice drops and so does his head.

“That’s not cheesy at all. I think that’s beautiful.” I step forward and put my hands on his shoulders. I’m trying to extend the comfort through my touch because I have no words to soothe him. There’s no combination of words I can string together that will ease his hurt or end his grief. He’s spent so much time hiding his open wound, and I don’t know how to fix any of it.

Blaze wraps his hands around mine, giving them a squeeze. When he lifts his head, his face changes. “I’ve had a lot of crazy nights, you know? Like, nights just filled with so many drugs, so much drinking, just drowning in pussy…”

I can’t hide my disappointment. I pull my hands back and sigh. I know what he’s doing, and I hate it. I hate that he wants to go back to hiding. Even if hiding means he’ll bleed out. Even if hiding will kill him. “Where is this going, Blaze?”

He curls his hands around the top edge of my dresser until his knuckles bleach. Blaze swallows hard. Seriousness settles back into his face. I’m not sure how long it will last, but I welcome it.

“I have a point. It’s that I’ve been telling myself that all those parties and all the shit that went with them, that was for Logan. Like, I was living it up because he couldn’t. I told myself it was because he didn’t, even when he was here. I couldn’t admit I needed the distraction. The distraction was the first addiction. All the other stuff came later. Finding something to forget that pain, it’s hard to turn down.”

“I get that.” I search his face, and all I see is the truth.

“But this, with you, it’s different. You’re not a distraction, or even an addiction. When I’m with you, I don’t need to forget. When I’m with you, I can’t think of anything else.” Blaze reaches for me, and I step into him. His arms pull me in, but his lips make me stay. I sink into the softness of his kiss. He is deliberate and delicate and it is entirely unexpected.

He slides his hands under the edge of my shirt, gathering the fabric on his hands as he pulls it off my body.

“Are you sure you’re not high?” I whimper. I need to make sure before I can continue. I need to be certain before I can surrender.

“I’ve never felt more clear-headed.” He drops my shirt to the floor and is quick to tug his off and toss it down alongside mine.

“I know what I’m doing, and I know what I want,” he murmurs. Blaze grabs both my arms and flips me around, holding him against me tight. I can feel the ridge of his hard cock through our pants. It presses against my ass. Then he turns us both around, together, until we become a reflection in my mirror. One that