BLUEMANTLE by Karen Langston (if you give a mouse a cookie read aloud TXT) 📕

the Telltale Circus, watching the trickle of wary citizens drain from its exit and disappear into the fog.

He hadn’t seen or spoken to Ursel since their flight across the pummelled city.

The euphoria he had experienced at Chief’s show had long since faded from his consciousness. There was no lingering impression, no aftertaste that could serve as memory. Now, the ephemeral sensation felt like a dream too vague to recollect. He clung on to its ghost, bemused and hungry for explanation. It had felt a long wait to see the only person he believed could provide him with one.

“Come in,” said Ursel, holding open the flap to her yurt. She gestured to a cushion on the floor. “Take a seat. Can I get you water?”

“No thanks.” Chase stood for a moment, his eyes adjusting to the change in light, then knelt on the cushion. “Low turnout?”

“Numbers haven’t picked up since the raid. We’d hoped to get a crowd in today; the performance is our most popular. It’s usually sold out. The Travelling Minstrels. Have you seen it?”

“No. No, I haven’t.”

A silence swelled in the space between them.

Ursel knelt down opposite Chase, her calm, collected expression a stark contrast to his. “You have some questions,” she said in a voice like still water.

“Yes.” He hesitated, absentmindedly touching his shoulder, feeling the dressing beneath his strap shirt. After days of deliberating, he now felt unsure where to start. He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “Wella,” he finally said. “You said you didn’t see her.”

“No. But I spoke to someone I trust. They said she’s joined one of the other groups of players: Bend Sinister. She’s working for them. Some followers do that. Not many. But some do. They choose a new life in the Scene. I guess things got too bad for her overground.”

“What sort of life is that? Trapped in a cave.”

“As I said, not many people make that choice. A handful at most. The rest of us run the risk and balance the two. But from what I’ve been told, and I’ve no reason not to believe my source, Wella has made that decision. She’s not trapped, as you put it. She can change her mind at any time. The fact she’s chosen that path suggests to me she’s okay.”

“Until the next raid and she’s captured.”

“All of us who follow run that risk.”

“Whatever. I still don’t accept she’s safe there. I’ve got to find her. Persuade her to come home.”

“Even if she’s found a new home?”

“Yes,” he said, looking at her squarely.

Ursel matched his stare, her eyes searching his. A slight frown broke the stillness of her face. “You felt something down there. I know you did. But that’s gone, hasn’t it?”

“What was it?”

“Why don’t you start by telling me how you felt?”

Chase looked away, searching the room for the right words. He felt the ache in his shoulder, the itch of the scab. His experience of the event had left such a nebulous impression, it felt like recalling the tales of others. “When I made it back to Naylor, he said I described it as euphoric. I can remember a wonderful warmth. A joy. She looked at me, the woman on stage.”

“Chief.”

“It felt physical. Like she was touching me. In my chest. Inside my stomach.” He dropped his head and shook it, trying to free the memory from where it lay hidden. “It’s gone now, but at the time it felt so strong. All-consuming.” He looked up, into Ursel’s eyes. “Tell me. What was it? What happened?”

“You experienced the reason why I, and Wella, and hundreds of others, are prepared to risk what we do in order to attend. That wave of emotion, that sensation of connection, is what we all feel.”

“Were we drugged?”

“No. Reject the A’s rhetoric and trust your feelings. They were real. The State’s propaganda is not. You responded to Chief and their music. That response, the intensity of that feeling, is why we follow the Scene – why we keep going back, despite the risk.”

“I still don’t get it.”

“It’s difficult to explain in abstract terms. That’s why I wanted you to experience it for yourself. Contact, as strong as life. I felt sure it would touch you. The feeling has gone from you now, but the more you attend, more of it lingers. Sure, there’s always a come-down. But then we know there will be another show, another chance to experience the joy that makes us stronger. We can’t wear our hearts on our sleeves. But I bet you that followers of the Scene are the happiest people in this miserable city.”

“What about Chief, then? And the others? Enemies of the State, yet the bands play on. What’s in it for them?”

Ursel smiled. “Few of us get to know them well enough to know for sure. But I’ve been following for several years now and I think I understand. I see it happen at each event.”

“What?”

“How they respond to us. When she’s on stage, I see Chief connecting with us. Same with the others. Bend Sinister and Pale Dexter – Saltire too, in her time. I’ve seen them all and their reaction is the same. They need us as much as we need them.”

“I don’t get it. We didn’t even pay for tickets. Oh…” he said, brows raised in the moment of dawning. “Unless you did? Sorry, I didn’t even think to ask. How much do I owe you?”

“It didn’t cost anything. It never does. Again, leave your preconceptions behind. It isn’t a commercial transaction. They’re not risking their lives to scrape together a living.”

“I’m sceptical about anyone who claims they do something for nothing. There’s always a price.”

“But that’s what I’m saying. They do get something out of it. I don’t know what exactly. Something to do with the crowd’s reaction. Maybe it makes them feel the same way I feel when I’m there. I’m not sure. Not that it matters.”

“Of course it does.” Chase realised afterwards that he’d raised