The One That I Want (Scorned Women Society Book 3) by Piper Sheldon (e book reader android txt) 📕

ever say anything like that. Like Vincent wasn’t standing there watching her.

Instantly she frowned. “I shouldn’t have said that. That was … unprofessional. I’m happy to give them an experience she will never forget.”

I dropped my backpack and pulled out a bottle of water and handed it to her. Without the protection of the canopy, it was a lot warmer. At least there was no worry about rain. I checked.

“You don’t have to do that,” I said. “I know clients can be a huge pain in the ass. So did you have a big old graduation party too?”

“Not exactly. I didn’t technically go to graduation.”

“Prom?” I asked.

She raised her eyebrows at me. “Do I seem like the type to go to prom?”

I shrugged. “Yeah?”

She shook her head. “No. I didn’t go to prom. There was a whole thing with Gretchen.” She frowned at the mention of her friend. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s just get going with all this.”

“That’s not a very healthy attitude,” I said.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“The rushing to get back to work. Always waiting to be done and on to the next thing. There is only the journey.”

She took a drink of water and handed it back to me. “How very zen of you.”

I shrugged. “I’ve just thought about it a lot. There is no final point that I can reach and think ‘ah, now I can be happy.’ Life is just a series of ups and downs. Best to be in the moment instead of worrying about things that have already happened or, worse, haven’t even happened yet. What an exhaustive waste of energy.”

She sighed but grabbed the other end of the blanket I’d pulled out and helped me lay it flat. “Some people just aren’t wired that way.”

“Sure. If that’s the story they tell themselves.”

“It’s that easy?” she asked. “Just stop worrying. Oh, okay. Thanks, I don’t know why I haven’t tried that.”

“The sarcasm is strong with this one,” I said trying to crack her prickly facade. “I’m not trying to preach. But yeah, it’s that easy and it’s the hardest mental exercising that you can do.”

She gave me a doubtful look.

“I know. Skippo gives me the same face when I say that. We’re hard-wired to want to suffer. We want to reaffirm all the negative thoughts we have, so when something bad happens, we can say ‘see, I was right, everything is awful, this is why it’s best not to try.’ We have this idea that pain is a badge earned in adulthood. Americans especially, I’ve noticed. The long-suffering intellectual.”

Roxy skidded on some stones as she bent to fix the blanket. I was around and helping her before I realized. I helped her slowly stand up. She smiled at me before fixing her fringe. “Thanks,” she said. “You’ve thought about this a lot.” Her tone softened in a way that felt encouraging.

“Yeah, I have.” I dropped my hands back to my sides and walked to the other side of the blanket. I had read a lot about these things when Dad started to get sick. It felt too soon to talk about that. When I glanced up at her, she watched me carefully and I worried I’d thought about Dad out loud.

I cleared my throat and went on, “Maybe some think I’m just not smart enough to know how dark and horrible the world is? I’m perfectly aware. Maybe I’m naive? Also, no. I’ve just decided to try and live in the moment as much as possible. I can walk this earth with the weight of the past on my shoulders, or I can drop the load and walk easier. It doesn’t mean the wounds aren’t there. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel things. It just means I acknowledge them and move on. But it takes work. It takes constantly telling your mind not to go there. Move on. Let it go. Not now, dark thoughts.”

We sat cross-legged on the blanket across from each other.

She picked up a few small rocks and rolled them around in her hands. “Aren’t you just avoiding things? Pushing them off until one day they’ll all come crashing on you? Not thinking about how your choices in the moment impact your future? Or those around you?”

As soon as she said the words, it was obvious she regretted them. I thought I’d been clear in the message I was conveying but it wasn’t coming across how I meant. Did she think I was selfish? Was I selfish? My words had hit too deep. This was not the foot I wanted to start on. I wasn’t avoiding things.

A dark cloud moved over my thoughts. The storm that was always right behind me.

I gently scooted the pebbles from her hands into mine and tossed them to the side. “Just be here now with me. That’s all I’m saying.”

Her swallow was audible. “Okay,” she whispered. Her eyes shifted to the horizon and she seemed lost in thought.

“Phew,” I said blowing out a long breath. “Didn’t mean to get so heavy. Let’s get started and save the new-age babble for later.”

“Yes.” She rolled her shoulders and rocked her head side to side.

“Are you about to start stretching?” I asked with a cocked eyebrow.

“Do I need to?” She had one arm stretched across her chest.

The image of her doing downward dog floated into my mind. Me pulling her hips back to deepen the stretch.

I cleared my throat. “No,” I said but it came out as a squeak.

“I thought maybe we were going to do trust falls or something.”

“That’s a great exercise but not for two people. This is simpler. All we have to do is sit across from each other and make eye contact.”

“What? That’s it?” she asked.

“That’s all we have to do. Sit still and hold each other’s focus. At least thirty seconds, but a few minutes would be best. Time to sink into the connection.”

“We can’t blink or something?”

I threw my head back and laughed. “No, we definitely can blink. We just