The Crush by Ward Penelope (best book recommendations txt) 📕

at the stars. “So, my three answers are peace, happiness, and financial security.” Farrah raised her chin. “I feel like you’ve accomplished so much. I would like to be in that same boat at some point—graduate from college and grad school and have enough experience to get a good job and take care of myself.”

I shrugged. “I might have a good resume, but I’m far from where I want to be in life. A lot of that has to do with the fact that I ran away when things got tough and haven’t dealt with stuff. So while I might appear to have my shit together, it’s more of an illusion.”

“Have you talked about your feelings with anyone?”

“That’s what I’m doing now.” I smiled. “This is the extent of it.” I sighed. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing, to be honest. It’s not like I can change anything that happened. Will talking about it really help? I don’t know. I’ve always just buried myself in school and work.”

“We have that in common—not dealing with things. I’ve been focused on my meaningless job and being there for Nathan, but I don’t feel like I’m living my life the way I want to. Honestly, the past seven years have been a blur.”

I nodded. “I also feel like I’ve had two different lives: before and after. You know what I mean?”

She nodded. “I know exactly what you mean.”

Our eyes locked.

“I know you do.”

“Despite how hard it’s been,” she said, “when you came back to Florida, it felt really good. It was like I got a part of the ‘before’ back. I didn’t have much growing up. I had my parents, and I had Nathan, and honestly, Jace… I had you. Because you were always around. You coming back was the best thing that had happened to me in a very long time.” She got a little choked up. “I know I complicated things by showing my feelings for you, but I hope you know that no matter what happens…I will always cherish you.”

An unidentifiable feeling bubbled inside my chest—a warm sensation mixed with intense guilt.

I wanted so badly to lean in and kiss her. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“I think you’re pretty amazing, too,” she whispered.

“When my mother told me about seeing you with that guy, Colton, I guess she could sense a weird vibe from me. She asked if it upset me.”

Even in the darkness, I could see her cheeks turn pink.

“You were jealous?”

I nodded. “You know the saying, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen? That’s what I did. I got the hell out of the kitchen—literally just got up from the table because I’ve never been able to lie to my mother.”

“Why were you afraid to tell her?”

“I didn’t want her to convince me to do the wrong thing. My mother is not a good influence. She’s very much a romantic, and she freaking adores you. I think she would love it if we were together. She has a lot of respect for you.”

Farrah’s expression turned sad. “But she doesn’t know Nathan like we do.”

“Yeah,” I whispered.

She cleared her throat. “Well, your mother is very sweet. I’ve always liked her. Both of your parents are great.”

“When I spent those two weeks with them, it made me realize how lucky I am to have them.” I immediately regretted saying that. “I’m sorry. That was insensitive. I just meant—”

“No, no, no. It’s okay. I had my parents for as long as I did, and I was very fortunate for those fourteen years.” She gazed out at the pool. “I can still sometimes hear my mother talking to me. It’s like I know the type of advice she would give me for certain situations, even if she’s not here. I don’t have the same connection with my dad. He was a little bit harder to read. But the fact that I can sometimes sense my mother’s presence when I need her is a good thing.” She turned to me. “Anyway…I’m really glad you were here tonight. It’s been forever since I had a chance to talk to you. I’m relieved you’re not mad after the awkward run-in we had earlier.”

“I don’t have any reason to be mad at you. I just want you to be happy.”

She shrugged. “I’m trying.” She looked down at her hands. “Listen…that promise you made me a while back…about not bringing girls here—that’s not really fair. If I’m going to bring Colton around, you should be able to bring whomever you want home.”

The idea of him being here unsettled me. It wasn’t going to be easy, but I had to support it because Farrah needed to move on from any ideas she had about being with me.

I arched my brow. “You sure about that?”

“Yeah… I can’t guarantee I’m not going to hate her, but I have no right to tell you how to live your life. Besides, it would seem a little strange to Nathan if you never brought anyone by. Don’t you think?”

Other women were the furthest thing from my mind right now. All I wanted was to taste Farrah’s lips again.

“Are you going to bring this guy to the next movie night?” I asked.

She blinked a few times. “Maybe. I haven’t thought about it.”

Deciding to be a jealous wiseass, I raised my brow. “Where will you sit?”

Her face turned red. “What do you mean?”

I was a total asshole for bringing it up, but I couldn’t help myself. “Are you going to try to sit next to me even if he’s there?”

Her face turned even redder.

“You picked up on my little leg game. Congratulations.”

“It was a bit obvious, yeah. Especially when your leg would accidentally press against mine.”

“Yeah…but you didn’t exactly move away when that happened, did you?”

“No, I fucking didn’t. And I should probably go to hell for that.”

“Well, we’ll always have movie night.” She winked.

My dick stiffened at the thought of being that close to her again. Farrah had