The Silent Suspect by Nell Pattison (epub e ink reader .TXT) 📕

Anna pulled a face and signed Chicken, but I didn’t rise to the bait. I was intending to have a fun evening with my sister, and that didn’t include throwing up on my own shoes.

Fine, we’ll go and play some games then. She grabbed my hand and dragged me to the Hook-A-Duck stall, digging in her pockets for change. I knew these things were all rigged, but I pushed the logical side of myself to the back of my mind and had a go anyway. After that, it was the coconut shy and one that involved hitting plastic frogs with a rubber mallet, all of which Anna bested me at. By the end of it she was clutching three different stuffed toys, all slightly sad-looking replicas of Disney characters.

Here, you should have Elsa, she told me, thrusting a doll into my hands. You’re Anna’s sister, she added with a grin.

I laughed, and steered her towards the food carts. My stomach was rumbling with the aromas wafting from the grill van, and a few minutes later we were wolfing down hot dogs, trying not to drip ketchup on our clothes. When we’d finished, we got a selection from the sweet stall and sat down on a patch of grass for a little while.

Have you decided if you’re going to move in with Max? Anna asked me, before popping some marshmallows into her mouth.

I sighed and looked down at the grass. We’d been having a really nice evening, and I’d somehow managed to stop thinking about Max, or Lukas, and for a while it had felt as if my life wasn’t full of confusion and stress.

I don’t know, I replied, hoping to fob her off. I haven’t decided yet.

Anna raised one eyebrow. Don’t lie to me, Paige. I know you said you’d give him an answer tomorrow, and I know you. You’ll have made your mind up a couple of days ago; you’re just putting it off until the last minute. She tilted her head on one side. I know you’re worried about hurting someone, but I can’t tell if you’re worried about upsetting me by moving in with him, or Max by saying no.

Leaning back on my elbows, I stretched my legs out in front of me and looked up at the evening sky. It was that gorgeous dark blue that comes right before the sun goes down, and I could just see a couple of stars beyond the glow of the fairground attractions. The sounds of people talking and laughing mingled with the music from the rides, and the occasional scream of a teenager.

I have decided, I told her eventually, and finally admitting it to myself. But I don’t really want to think about it right now. I feel like it’s such a big decision, I can’t really process it properly. So you’re right, I am putting it off, but it’s more selfish than you think. I turned onto my side and started pulling at a clump of grass. Anna was watching me carefully while chewing the edge of one of her fingernails and I realised she was nervous. It had taken her a while to recover from the brain injury she’d suffered last year, and I knew she was doing so much better now, but living with me was a big part of the stability she’d rebuilt for herself. I realised she was scared I was going to leave her.

I reached across and squeezed her arm. Hey. It’s going to be okay, I promise.

She gave me a small smile. I know I shouldn’t be worried about living alone at the age of twenty-nine, but I am. In London I always had several flatmates, and now I’ve got you. I don’t know how I’ll manage on my own.

Let me talk to Max tomorrow, I told her. Then we can talk about you and me. I didn’t want to start talking about it in too much depth with Anna right now, because I felt I should talk to Max first. Whatever happened between us from now on, I owed him that at least. He’d given me a few days to think about the question, and I thought it was a bit unfair to be essentially discussing his future with someone else before him.

Anna nodded her understanding, though I knew she was desperate to ask me more.

How’s work? I asked her, hoping that a change of subject might perk her up a bit. Anna had been increasingly busy over the last few months, devising modules and planning lectures for her Deaf Studies classes. She only had a few students at the moment, with a bigger cohort due to be taken on in September, but it seemed like she was finally feeling satisfied with her work and her decision to leave London.

She gave me a look, aware that I was trying to steer the conversation away from myself, but she didn’t push it any further.

Work is going pretty well. There’s more to do than I expected, because there’s always some more paperwork to fill in, or another bit of admin that needs to be completed. But I’m still enjoying it, which is the important thing.

Do you know how many students you’ll be getting in September?

She shook her head. Not yet. Some of it depends on funding, though we’ve had a lot more applicants than we expected, so that’s positive.

That’s great, I told her, genuinely pleased for her. I think she was worried that her academic career would suffer once she left London, but so far it looked like her fears were unfounded. And the cost of living was drastically different in North Lincolnshire, which was a big advantage.

I’ve been thinking about leaving my injury support group, she told me suddenly, and I wondered if this was another thing that had been bothering her recently as well as the possibility I would be moving in with Max. I’m not sure I’m getting any benefit from it