The Daddy P.I. Casefiles: The First Collection by Frost, J (great novels .txt) π
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Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I untangle the flogger, shuffle to him, and sink to my knees.
βLogan,β Miranda says from behind me. She sounds as shocked as I am. βI didnβt realizeββ
βObviously,β he replies. His dark and very serious tone sends a scary-bad shudder straight through me. βGet out. Iβll deal with you later.β
βBu-but, Loganββ
βGet out of my office, Miranda. Right. Now.β
The door shuts quietly. I keep my eyes on the patch of carpet between my knees and try really, really hard not to shake.
Loganβs warm hand settles on the top of my head. βHand me what youβre carrying,β he says quietly.
Keeping my head bowed, I offer up the flogger and first aid kit.
βWhat happened to your arm?β
βI was clipping Sableβs claws when he scratched me. But itβs not his fault,β I say quickly. I donβt want Daddy to be angry at my kitty. βHe was fine with the front ones. I think I just surprised him when I clipped the back ones. Or maybe theyβre more sensitive. Iβll be more careful next time.β
βHold out your arm.β
I do, offering it up without lifting my head. Please, please, please let my submission placate him. I donβt know when he came back. How much he heard. But if he heard me tell Miranda sheβs full of shit, Iβm utterly fucked.
He inspects my arm, opens the kit, and takes out several things. He swabs the scratches with an antiseptic wipe, waits until my skin dries, then smooths a gauze pad over the scratches and tapes down the edges. A plain white gauze pad. Not a Winnie the Poo or Little Mermaid Band-Aid. He doesnβt kiss it and my insides curl up a little tighter.
βWeβll check that again tonight. Animal claws are notoriously germy, so you may get an infection. If it starts to feel hot, I want to know right away.β
βYes, Daddy.β
βWhy are you carrying my flogger around?β
Figures that he wouldnβt hear Miranda insult me. Please, dear Lord, do not let him have heard me swear at her.
βMiranda brought it up from the playroom.β And then threw it on the floor, but as much as I want to score points off the Mir-Witch, I donβt think telling Daddy that is going to help my case right now. βI was going to put it upstairs in your toy bag.β
βWhy was Miranda in the playroom?β
βShe followed me down when I went to get the first aid kit.β
βI see.β
Heβs silent for a long minute and I wait, not nearly as patiently as I waited out Miranda.
βHendry sent me a text before I even got to her office, canceling our appointment. Her sonβs been injured playing basketball, maybe a broken ankle, so sheβs taken him to the ER. I gather neither of you heard me come in.β
I didnβt. Iβm sure Miranda didnβt, either, or she wouldnβt have said some of the things she said.
βNo, Daddy.β
βAnything youβd like to confess?β
I take a deep breath, trying to get a grip on the emotions slamming around inside me like a ping-pong ball. Heβs not calling me his little girl or baby doll or any of his usual endearments. I have to assume he heard me curse at her. Iβm fucked for that. This is my second strike on swearing. My second strike on disrespecting one of his exes. Iβm seriously, seriously fucked. But she confronted me. Itβs not fair that I canβt stand up for myself when Daddyβs not around and she started it.
Aaand just thinking that makes me sound like a five-year-old in my own head. Iβm supposed to be the bigger person. Fuck-fuck-fuckety-fuck.
βI swore. I broke the rules.β
βYes, you did. Anything else?β
The shame of it crashes down on my shoulders. Heβs not shouting at me. Heβs speaking calmly, evenly, and with such profound disappointment that I feel like Iβm going to drown in a tsunami of disapproval.
βI disrespected your guest.β
βYes, you did. Thatβs two rules, right?β
βYes.β I struggle to stay upright against the deluge of shame.
βIs telling our guest that sheβs full of shit being the bigger person?β
βNo, Daddy,β I whisper, barely able to force a sound around the thickness of my throat.
βDoes it break our contract? The one you signed? The one that says you wonβt swear, you wonβt be disrespectful toward Daddyβs guests? Do you remember those rules? The ones you agreed to live by while Daddy does his damndest to create a safe place for you to be little all the time. Do you remember?β
I swallow against the tears that are building and nod.
βWords, Emily.β
βI remember.β My voice breaks. I bend over and put my forehead on the carpet while the small voice inside me screams again that itβs not fair. I shouldnβt get in trouble for something she started. βIβm s-s-sorry, Daddy. I t-t-tried really hard not to be as mean to her as she was being to m-m-me.β
βHer terrible behavior is not an excuse for yours. Why do we have the rules, Emily?β
I take several broken breaths to fight back the tears so I can answer him. βTo establish the boundaries of our power exchange.β
βAnd?β
βTo make a safe space for me to be little all the time.β
βDoes Daddyβs little girl swear?β
βNo, Daddy.β I canβt stop the tears. They spill, dripping onto the carpet.
βDoes Daddyβs little girl speak rudely to guests and embarrass Daddy?β
βNo, Daddy. Iβm s-suh-sorry!β
βThis is the second time, Emily. On both these rules.β His voice is low and soft, but that just makes it worse. I huddle on the floor and wish I could sink through it. βYouβve already had your mouth washed out with soap for swearing and an hour in the playpen for breaking the rule about insulting Daddyβs friends. Iβm disappointed.β
I cringe and cry silently into the carpet.
βIβm also disappointed that I canβt leave you in the house for half-a-bloody-hour with Miranda without the two of you getting in a cat-fight,β he continues, and I cringe again. βKnowing Miranda, she started it. But thatβs no excuse. You had all the time in the world to walk away. Instead,
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