Caught in Us (Caught Series Book 4) by Kacey Shea (free e books to read TXT) 📕

be his father—the present, loving, affectionate parent I never had.

“We have a lot to figure out.” She glances down at her lap.

“Yeah.”

“I promise we’ll make this work. I am not interested in keeping him from knowing you. That’s never what this was about.”

It was about survival. About preservation. Staying sober and protecting Matthew. I get that now, but it still hurts. The idea of them going back to London causes physical tightness in my chest. We have some hard conversations ahead. But they’re necessary, and for now I hold on to the hope that we might just be able to figure this out.

21

Alicia

I made a mistake.

Only, it’s not coming back to my hometown. No, it was leaving in the first place. It was staying away so long. It was keeping Chase from our son.

Watching him today with Matthew, it broke my heart. Because he’s a great dad. Of course he is. He’s attentive, fun, and kind. The bond between them was as instant as my regret. I don’t know how Chase doesn’t hate me. I worry one day when Matty is old enough to learn the truth, he’ll hate me too.

Chase glances in the back seat where Matthew is still passed out. “Will he stay asleep?”

“Yeah.” I hop out of my door, then pull open the back to get Matthew. I peel his chubby little fingers from where they’re still holding tight to the toy truck. “Can you bring in the car seat for me?”

“Of course.” Chase gets out and walks around the front of the truck to meet me on my side.

I remove Matthew from his restraints and lift him into my arms. He’s so exhausted, he doesn’t even open his eyes in the transition. Chase reaches out, steadying my arm as I get down from the truck. His touch sends a quiver of awareness throughout my body, the way it has all day. Any time he stood close, or stared too long, it lit up. I try to ignore the attraction. He’s unavailable. We aren’t meant to be together. But the connection we share is there—at least for me—and it doesn’t give a flying fuck that he’s with someone else. Which makes me a horrible person.

I thought maybe today would provide some closure. Be the affirmation I need to remember why I left in the first place. But no. If anything, it did the opposite.

My footsteps may be slow and measured as I make my way to the front door, but my pulse is racing. My heart feels as if it’s been split open. But I’m too worn down to pretend it’s not. “I love you, sweet boy,” I whisper against Matty’s cheek. “I’m sorry.” For keeping you from your dad. For waiting so long to come back home.

“Where do you want this?” Chase says softly, stepping around us to open the door.

“Just there is fine.” I point to the floor inside the entry. I let my purse fall to the floor on top of the car seat once Chase sets it down.

“Okay, well.” He slides his hands into his pockets. He doesn’t move to leave and I can’t tell whether it’s because he wants to stay, or because he thinks he should.

I could invite him in. Show him more of my ugly secrets. Mom’s probably passed out around here somewhere, and Daddy, well, he’s stuck in his bed. But I reach for the easy out. “I’ll call you.” I force a bright smile onto my lips. I doubt it’s convincing but Chase doesn’t call me out.

“Okay, yeah.” He nods, his gaze bouncing from my face to Matthew’s. “Thank you. For today. It was . . . everything.”

My heart cracks a little with those words. I nod because I can’t say anything to change the past. Watching as Chase turns and walks out the door, regret settles heavy on my chest, almost too much to bear.

Instead of heading for the stairs, I walk down the hallway toward my dad’s room. Outside the door I pause to brush the locks from Matthew’s face, taking in the soft lines of his cheeks, his sun-kissed skin, the even breaths that leave his mouth.

I should have done this the day we landed. I shouldn’t have let fear lead, because it only added heartache to an already impossible situation. But I’m done with that.

Without overthinking, I carry Matthew into my dad’s room, knocking softly as we push inside. “Hey,” I whisper.

Theresa lifts her hand in greeting, a smile playing on her lips at the sight of my sleeping boy. She’s changing out my father’s IV, and makes it look easy. It probably is for her, she’s done it countless times.

I walk to the foot of the bed. “How is he today?”

“His congestion isn’t improving,” she says matter of factly. “His doctor is ordering X-rays to make sure his lungs stay clear.”

“Is that something we should worry about?” Alarm kicks up my pulse.

“Not yet.” Theresa jots a few notes onto the tablet by my father’s bed. He’s resting, and I don’t want to wake him, especially because sometimes he gets so agitated. “But we are monitoring any changes. I promise.”

My appreciation grows for this woman and the other nurses who provide him with the best of care. “Thank you.”

“Would you like some time alone?” She offers a kind smile. It’s almost enough to make me cry.

“Yeah.” I nod, moving closer. “I want my dad to meet his grandson.”

“Here.” She moves one of the chairs closer to the bed and motions for me to come sit. Theresa leaves the room quietly, the door clicking shut with her exit.

I settle into the seat, grounded by my son’s steady breaths, and reach for my father’s hand. He probably can’t hear me. His eyes are closed. My words are wasted. But a part of me wants for this moment to have some semblance of normalcy. “Daddy?” I squeeze his hand. “Daddy, I want you to meet the most important person in my life.”

Gently, I lift his