Here Be Dragons - 1 by Sharon Penman (best inspirational books txt) 📕

to do about the child? A pity she is not a boy; it might be easier to find a family willing to take in a lad.""That is why I've come to you, Madame. You see, the girl was wellborn, ofNorman stock. I got the family name from Maud: d'Arcy. The father held his manor from no less a lord than William de Ferrers, Earl of Derby.""Ah, that does put a different light upon it," Helweisa conceded. "If the child's mother be of gentle birth, then a villein's hut is no fitting place for her, bastard or no. What would you have me do, write to the family?"The Abbot nodded. "Aye, to the younger brother, Sir Roger d'Arcy. He should be told of his sister's death . . . and of her child's need.""I shall be glad to oblige you, of course, Abbot John." Helweisa's eyes strayed across the hall to where Joanna sat, very still, in the window seat."Poor little lass, I wonder what shall become of her.""She is in God's hands, Madame. As are we all."THERE was no reality in Joanna's time at Middleham; it left little imprint upon her memory. She did as she was bade, spoke when spoken to, and when left to her own devices, she sat for hours staring out at the dales, now burnished with bracken. To the other children of the castle, pages and playmates of Lord and Lady Fitz Ranulf's young son Ralph, she was a curiosity and, provoked by her eerie indifference, they baited her with words learned from their elders:"bastard" and "sideslip." They were the first to put a name to it, to the sin of birth that somehow made her different from other children. A fortnight ago, she'd have been devastated by their mockery. But now their taunts had no power to hurt. What mattered if they called her "bastard"? She had so much more grievous wrongs to answer for. Mama was dead because of her. In her grieving, Mama had sobbed out the truth at last, had cried, "If only sr>e'd never been born!"Mama had not wanted her, and now Mama was dead, and it was er doing, would not have happened if not for her. She did not wonder

84that Maud did not come to the castle to see her. How could there be forgiveness for a sin so great?On her ninth day at Middleham, she was awakened by a young maidservant, and to her astonishment and apprehension, was told to attend Lord and Lady FitzRanulf in the solar.She'd seen Lord Fitz Ranulf only in passing, was much in awe of him, a heavyset man in his fifties, with the brusque, no-nonsense manner of one who does not suffer fools gladly, and prides himself inordinately upon that impatience. Lady Helweisa was more familiar to Joanna. A plump, complacent woman much her husband's junior, she would stop and talk to Joanna whenever they happened to meet in the bailey or great hall, but Joanna did not thinkLady Helweisa truly heard her answers.Her nervousness eased somewhat, though, at sight of Abbot John, for he had been kind to her. The fourth man in the chamber was young, dressed in starkest black, with a long sword at his left hip. But it was his hair that heldJoanna's eyes; it was blond, the same sunlit shade as her mother's."Come here, Joanna." Lady Helweisa beckoned her into the solar. "There's one here to meet you, your uncle, Sir Roger d'Arcy."Joanna gasped, stared up at this man who was her kin, her family. As her gaze reached his face, she saw he had her mother's sapphire-blue eyes."Jesu!" His breath hissed through his teeth; the blue eyes widened. "Christ, if she's not his very image!"For the briefest moment, hope had flickered in the dark of Joanna's world. Her uncle had come for her. But with his words, that faint hope guttered, died.There was on his face the same expression that had been on her mother's the night she'd cried, "Oh, God, how like him you are!"Seeing they all were staring at him, Roger d'Arcy drew a deep breath, said, "I'd never seen her, you see ..." There was a wine cup on the table, and he reached for it, drank until he began to cough. "I expect you think my father was a hard man. Mayhap he was. He put family honor above all else, taught us to do likewise. He taught us, too, that a woman of rank must be chaste, must go to her marriage bed a virgin. When my sister confessed she was with child, he felt betrayed. Shamed.""And you?" Abbot John asked quietly."It was my duty to obey my father's wishes." Roger drank again, not meeting their eyes. "But. . . she was so pretty, my sister. So quick to laugh. And so young. Just fifteen when she came to court. Fifteen . . ." He turned back to face them, said tautly, "I always did blame him, not her. She was such an innocent, such easy prey. I'd have killed him if I

85., /' His voice sounded suddenly muffled, as if he were swallowing C "But Icould not. I could only watch my sister suffer for his accursed lust."Helweisa and her husband exchanged glances. Roger d'Arcy had t unwittingly confirmed a growing suspicion of hers. Why had not, d'Arcys taken vengeance upon the man? As bitter as they were, one th'nK alone could have stayed their hand; the man had to be highborn.Very highborn."What of the child's father, Sir Roger? Would he do nothing for your sister?"He shook his head. "She'd have died ere she asked him for so much as a shilling. My sister was a d'Arcy, Madame; she, too, was proud."Helweisa hesitated, and then decided that the best tactic might be a direct frontal assault. "Sir Roger, who is the child's father?"He looked at her, then down at Joanna, and she said, "Your sister is beyond slander. If you keep silent now, you do but protect