The Missing by Kiersten Modglin (essential books to read txt) 📕

darkness, you are the reason we’re still here. You said it yourself today, everything you’ve known about keeping us alive, all the books you must’ve read to get that knowledge—you’re the reason we’re alive, Harry. I don’t doubt that for a second—”

“You’re trying to make me feel better, and I appreciate it, but you guys would’ve been fine without me—”

“I would’ve never guessed we could use coconuts to boil water. I thought for sure they’d burn up. And I definitely thought moving water was safe to drink. None of us had any idea how to build a shelter. The list goes on, and on top of that, you were the one keeping calm when we arrived. You were the one who knew what to do, what to gather, what to assemble… You saved us all.” I watched him try to temper his growing smile, then added, “What happened to us… The people who brought us here are the only ones to blame. You have nothing to feel guilty about. And we’re all going home, okay? We’re going to find our way off the island and get out of here.”

“You really think so?” he asked, stifling a yawn.

I looked up toward where I knew the mountain was, despite being unable to see it in the darkness. “I know so. You’re going to see Daisy again.”

He swiped his finger under his eye. “I’m sorry I had a meltdown. I’ve just been trying so hard not to think about them, and the dam broke.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me,” I said, willing him to look at me. “I think meltdowns are absolutely warranted right now.”

He chuckled, sniffling. “Do you have kids?”

“No. It’s just me and my husband.” Was it inconsiderate to say I hadn’t wanted any when he’d had to work so hard to have a child of his own?

He was quiet. The wind began to rustle the trees around us, and I felt a drop of dew touch my cheek. “I’m glad they found each other.” He jutted his head toward Ava and James, cuddled together in the dirt. “No one should be alone out here.”

“We aren’t alone,” I told him and watched as a shiver ran through his body.

“Is it selfish to wish he were here with me?” He sniffled again.

“Your husband?”

He nodded. “I mean, obviously, I’d much rather I be with him, but I just keep thinking… I would do anything to have him here right now. I’d do anything to hold him and tell him I’m sorry. To get through this together and brag about it at our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.” The laugh he released through his tears was heartbreaking.

“I know what you mean. I wish my husband were here, too.” I didn’t know if it was the truth, even as I said it, but it felt like the right thing to say. Of course, it would be nice to have someone I knew here. Someone I trusted. It would be nice to cuddle up with my husband, to let him make me feel safe. But did he make me feel safe anymore? It was hard to tell. It had been so long since we’d been together, alone without the constant interruptions from his phone or laptop. Did we even know who we were without the buzz of incoming emails? When was the last time we’d held eye contact for an entire conversation? Out here, I was worried our deepest flaws would be front and center.

“It’s okay, you know,” Harry said after a pause, “to look for comfort somewhere else. What we’re going through is traumatic. We don’t know if we’ll ever see them again.”

I looked at him, scowling, but the fact that I’d been staring at Noah as my thoughts were with my husband hadn’t gone unnoticed by either of us. “I’m just trying to get us off the island. I don’t have time for comfort. And we will see them again.” I emphasized the words, needing us both to believe them. “We’re getting off this island, Harry. All of us.”

His lips grew tight, and he said nothing else, so I sank back onto the ground, resting my hands on my chest as I breathed in and out, repeating the words over and over, trying to make myself believe them.

We’re getting off this island.

We’re getting off this island.

We’re getting off this island.

I had no idea how wrong I was.

Chapter Fifteen

When I woke up again, the sun had begun to peek over the horizon, painting the sky brilliant shades of reds, blues, and purples. I sat up, taking off the shirt Noah had lent me and rinsing my body in the stream. Ava began to stir, waking James up as well, and I smiled at her when she opened her eyes.

I finished rinsing off, dabbing the water across my skin carefully, and pulled the shirt back over my head. The bikini I’d been wearing for days now had begun to chafe and rub, and I desperately wanted to take it off but had nothing to replace it with. I knew everyone was likely dealing with a similar situation.

“Morning,” I said, when Ava sat up.

“Morn—” she stopped, her face full of confusion. Then, she scrambled to stand and rushed toward the tree line again, emptying the remaining contents of her stomach. The combination of the rising sun and the noise of her retching drew Noah and Harry from their sleep as well, and Harry rubbed a hand over his eye.

“Ava?” James rushed across the clearing, reaching for her. He looked at me. “Do we have any more water?”

“I don’t want—” She tried to speak, but was interrupted by more sickness.

“We don’t have any more anyway,” Harry said, “but we can boil some.”

“Is it the water making her sick?” Noah asked, his voice deep from sleep.

“It can’t be,” Harry told him, reassuring us all. “Not if no one else is sick, too. It has to be something else.” He sat up, his body hunched over in thought. “It could