Elaine Viets & Victoria Laurie, Nancy Martin, Denise Swanson - Drop-Dead Blonde (v5.0) (pdf) by Unknown (howl and other poems .TXT) 📕

The next day, Minnie teetered into our office on three- inch heels. She hadn't quite mastered walking in spikes yet, but her attempts were cute, like a new colt learning to stand. She walked with a lighter step, and it took me a moment to see why. The twenty-pound old-lady purse was gone, re- placed by a small swinging shoulder bag.

Minnie wore a tailored navy suit and a white blouse. Now you could see she had a smart little figure and sweet, slen- der legs.

The men in the office, married and single, suddenly sat up and got that glazed look. Jimmy told me that men are suckers for white blouses and neat navy suits. They start fantasizing about parochial schoolgirls and airline steward- esses. We didn't call them flight attendants then.

Vicki tip-tapped into work shortly after Minnie, but she KILLER BLONDE 121 didn't get her usual adoring reception from the men. Her frothy pink suit seemed overdone compared to Minnie's trim navy number, and her makeup was a little heavy.

Vicki noted Minnie's new look, but she didn't say any- thing. She walked into her office and shut the door a fraction too hard. When I brought in her morning coffee, Vicki's face was disfigured by an unattractive frown. It gave her deep lines between her brows, and Botox was thirty years away.

Minnie blushed at all the new attention, and the guys found that delicious. Men are suckers for shy women. I knew there would be no more nasty surprises on Minnie's desk, and I foolishly thought our office would settle down. I should have been watching more carefully. Instead I sat there swol- len with self-satisfaction, too pleased with myself to pay at- tention to the danger signs. I thought my lectures had finally gotten through to Minnie. I thought I'd changed things for the better at that office.

Now men stopped by Minnie's desk just to say hi. Instead of rubber mice and smelly cheese, they brought her little delicacies: anise cookies from Angelo's Italian bakery, strong shots of Cuban coffee from the corner bodega, or bagels with blueberry cream cheese from Levine's Deli. At first I thought the gifts were to make up for their bad behavior. Then I realized they were tributes to Minnie's newfound beauty.

The men started showing off like high school boys. ``Hey, Minnie,'' Irish Johnny said, ``watch this!''

He lobbed a paper ball into the wastebasket across the room, a decent shot for a desk jockey. Minnie applauded prettily, and Irish Johnny's ears turned red. I wondered if he was going to run back to Vicki with that story.

Even the boys were deserting Queen Vicki.

Jimmy, always a sucker for a pretty face, was the first to publicly defect. He asked Minnie to lunch. I took him aside and said, ``You hurt that girl, Jimmy, and I'll fix it so you're singing in the Vatican choir.''

``There's nothing wrong with lunch with a colleague.''

``No, there's not,'' I said. ``Just keep your ham on your own sandwich, and there's no problem.''

Jimmy made sure everyone noticed when he escorted 122 Elaine Viets Minnie to Harper's steakhouse. Irish Johnny slunk over to watch them, but I don't think he saw anything worth re- porting. Minnie wasn't that kind of girl.

Bobby was out of the office on a business lunch in Pompano.

For the first time ever, Vicki had to eat a chicken-salad sandwich alone at her desk.

She scowled when she saw Minnie and Jimmy coming back from lunch at two o'clock, laughing over some silly remark. Vicki called Jimmy into her office and scolded him for having scotch on his breath. ``You must maintain a pro- fessional demeanor at this office,'' she said. ``And that means no two-hour lunches.''

Jimmy did a devastating imitation of her lecture later for our benefit. Even Minnie couldn't suppress a smirk.

``Can you believe it?'' Jimmy asked. ``The bitch is gone for three hours most afternoons, but she has the nerve to criticize me for a long lunch.''

It was the first time he'd referred to Vicki as ``the bitch'' behind her back. Within the week, all the boys called her that. We women already used that name.

As Minnie grew more popular, Vicki pouted and became surly. She no longer flirted and flipped her blond hair quite so often. The men hung around Minnie like she was the last lemonade stand in the Mojave.

Now there were awkward silences when Vicki entered a room and titters when she left. Jimmy did hilarious imita- tions of Vicki mincing into the office on her high heels, swinging her pink-suited behind.

Of course, no one left Vicki nasty little presents. She was still the boss and they feared what she could do to them. The boys flattered her outrageously, but Vicki knew their overdone compliments were just this side of mockery.

She couldn't criticize them, so Vicki tried to take it out on me. She snapped so much I finally had to put Vicki in her place.

The boss had started using me to run errands for her on company time. I didn't mind, as long as I could get my regular work done. If it was a sunny day, I liked getting outdoors. Vicki would leave a little note on my desk with her instructions, and I'd pick up her dry cleaning or take in her shoes for new heels. KILLER BLONDE 123

Then she asked me to buy a present for her sister's birth- day. Vicki wasn't close to Val, but they stayed in touch for birthdays and holidays.

``I don't know what your sister likes,'' I said. ``I've never met her.''

``Just go to the department store and get anything. Val will probably take it back, anyway. I always give her the sales receipt along with the gift. Make sure you spend enough so I don't look cheap."

I bought Val a