Something Old by Rebecca Connolly (autobiographies to read txt) 📕

from me, I’m going to need a little more content to your answers than two or three words a piece.”

“I don’t want to be rid of my marriage,” Thomas insisted hotly as he shifted in his seat, the feeling of comfort fading. “Quite the opposite, in fact.”

“Really?” There was a note of surprise in Monty’s voice, no matter how shrouded in disbelief it was. “You don’t?”

Thomas took a moment to exhale very slowly. “The fact that you sound so dubious reinforces my fears and redoubles my determination.”

Monty’s frown fully formed then, though he didn’t seem particularly upset. “I’ll need you to explain that, if you don’t mind.”

That didn’t surprise Thomas. He imagined he would need to explain quite a bit to quite a few people as time went on. It would be excellent practice, he supposed, for when he was finally ready to explain himself to Lily.

“I’ve been negligent of my wife and the vows I made to God and her,” Thomas admitted, the glass in his hand somehow growing colder to the touch as he did so. “Not in any way the law would concede, and likely not even in any way Society would concede. But where the truth of the matter is concerned, I am just as guilty as though I had violated those vows with crime or sin.”

Monty swirled his brandy almost absently, his attention fixed on Thomas. “How so?”

“The marriage vows instruct us to have, hold, love, and cherish our wives, do they not?” Thomas asked in an emotionless tone.

“They do. Along with some conditions you haven’t mentioned.”

Thomas ignored the additional commentary. “I can only claim to have abided by half of those vows, and even then, it is a poor excuse for my efforts. I certainly have my wife, as she is still married to me and living beneath my roof. And, though it may surprise a great many people, including her, I love my wife.”

Admitting it aloud when he had kept it hidden for so long was strangely emotional, and Thomas swallowed with some difficulty. “But holding and cherishing my wife is where I have failed spectacularly.”

Monty said nothing and showed no emotion.

That made Thomas smile. “You don’t seem particularly surprised.”

“I’m not.” Monty lifted a shoulder in a polite shrug. “I’ve long suspected you loved her, though I didn’t see why you wouldn’t show it. And I agree that you have failed spectacularly, so I saw no need to correct your statement. It seemed accurate enough.”

A humorless laugh escaped Thomas as he lifted the glass of brandy to his lips again.

“I presume you mention your failings in these vows because you mean to remedy the situation,” Monty said simply, still swirling his drink.

“I do,” Thomas confirmed with a nod.

“How?”

“No idea.” He smiled blandly for effect, then sat back more comfortably in his chair. “I have five years to make up for, and I’m not sure where to start. I’ve known Lily most of my life, but it’s as if I’ve been married to a stranger. I don’t know how to begin to mend the rift I’ve created, or if there’s any point in doing so. I was hoping you might enlighten me, if not advise me.”

Monty’s brows rose, and the swirling of his glass stopped. “You’re serious.”

Thomas nodded again. “Entirely.”

The fair-haired man straightened in his chair, though he had never slouched so much as a hair. “You want me to advise you on improving the state of your marriage, your relationship with your wife, and, in essence, the life you have lived from the moment you became man and wife.”

“Please.”

Monty rubbed at his brow, exhaling roughly. “I knew I should have stayed in bed longer this morning. Lord knows, I deserve it after being up with the baby most of the night, and now with this…”

“Lily’s happiness is everything to me,” Thomas murmured softly, hoping it would plead his case for him.

A dark scowl met his plea head-on. “Well, you’ve got a damned peculiar way of showing it. I’ve seen too many expressions of distress on Lily’s face for my liking, and were Caroline alive, she’d certainly have several harsh words for you, given her affinity for her favorite cousin. And if Beth knew we were having this conversation, she would have a thing or two to say as well.”

“Don’t you think I know she deserves better than what I have given her?” Thomas cried without rancor. “That I have consigned her into a faded hue of the luster she once possessed? I’ve been painfully, acutely aware of it every minute of every day. I have seen every dampening of the light in her eyes and every smile that fades into sadness. When the hope in her voice turned to resignation, I hid myself in my study for days on end in shame.” He smiled bitterly at the one man who could possibly help him in all this. “No matter what either of your wives would have to say on the subject, I would take it all and probably think them too generous.”

The corner of Monty’s mouth twitched a little. “I don’t know about that. Caroline could be vicious in a temper and exaggerate as it suited her ire.”

“And Beth?”

Monty shuddered. “Beth has an accuracy that stuns, and the lack of venom in her barbs does nothing to lessen their potency.”

Thomas wasn’t sure if he was supposed to nod, shake his head, protest, or laugh, so he settled for sitting in silence, waiting.

Hoping.

“Fine,” Monty groaned, downing the remaining brandy with startling ease. “I’ll do what I can to help you find your way back into Lily’s good graces, though what you do when you get there is on your own head.”

“Thank you,” Thomas said with a relief that made his head swim. “Truly, I am indebted to you.”

Monty snorted once. “You’d better wait to see if I am any help before you claim servitude. I may be a dreadful advisor for you.”

“Any advisor is better than none.”

“Not always true, but let’s hope it helps you