Legacy: Letters from eminent parents to their daughters by Menon, Sudha (electric book reader .TXT) 📕

have the power to overcome our circumstances, all we need, is the courage to take firm decisions and stick to them.

That phase of my life also taught me other crucial life lessons which I have strived to follow over the years. I realized the importance of prioritizing things. I decided that my family came first, our health second, and work third. I learnt to love unconditionally and selflessly, without expecting anything in return. For me, the love that a mother has for her child is the purest form of love. Sadly, most of the times as parents, we go on to expect our children to give back to us in some form for the love we showered on them in their childhood. Love given in expectance of something in return is a transaction. You are a mother of a little daughter now and remember this as you raise her, Nandini.

Much as it may sound like a discourse, Nandini, there is great inner peace and joy to be gained from sacrificing for our loved ones. Both you and your husband have careers and aspirations of your own, which I am happy about. But let me caution you that if a marriage has to succeed, you will have to sacrifice more than your husband. And now that you are the mother of a child, you have a greater responsibility to shoulder and must have to sacrifice a little bit more than your husband. Believe me, giving is infinitely more satisfying than taking.

Dear Nandini, I want to remind you of your growing up years and of the support you found in your family in fulfilling all your dreams. When you expressed your desire to go abroad to pursue your undergraduate studies, we gladly sent you off because we believed in you. It was not an easy thing to do for us, though. Fifteen years ago, it was a big thing for a traditional Marwari girl to go out of the country to study, but we respected your need to do it. And when you returned after honing your skills at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, you got a place in the family business earned from your own merit.

You moved in to steer a significant portion of it. I must say you are doing a sterling job out of it. I believe in letting you learn from your own mistakes just as my father allowed me to do and I am hoping you will let your child explore this world on her own too.

But I want to tell you that while work has to be an important aspect of your life, what is also important is for you to strive to make a difference in the lives of the people around you with the work that you do. I cannot emphasize the virtue of giving back to the society which made you who you are.

Nandini, life will have its ups and downs. Suffering is a part of life, but how you face those adversities is what will set you apart from the rest. Strive to tackle your challenges, the hurdles in your life, with equanimity. It is this ability that will shape the person you become and determine the course that your life takes.

Believe in God because that is what will keep you on the straight path. No matter what your situation in life is, ultimately you have to believe in a higher power who will sort things out for you in times of need. What helped me during the worst phases of my life was my very strong belief that whatever happens, happens for a reason. I really do believe that and surrender myself in the hands of God during such times. I truly believe that this also makes a person stronger and fearless.

I know that you’re too young to understand most of this, but I am sure that faith and spirituality will come to you as the years pass by and you have seen life the way I have. Faith takes time, but I am confident it will grow as you mature.

But even if you don’t have as much faith right now, I am glad to see what a high level of integrity and morals you subscribe to, sometimes more than I have been able to adopt myself. You see life in black and white while I am able to see the shades of grey that life’s countless situations bring.

I am glad you are inherently a good human being, someone who will not intentionally harm anyone and someone who will not do something if she is not convinced whether it is the right thing to do.

As you go along the journey of life, I can’t underline enough for you the value of nurturing compassion as a virtue. Have compassion towards the people around you and don’t judge them at face value—there are so many reasons behind why people behave the way they do or become who they are. Who are we to judge them?

I believe, too, that each of us has to have the courage to do what we think is right at each stage of our life.

I have always believed in the power of gratitude. Dear Nandini, I want you to be grateful for everything God has given you. A grateful person is a happy person. I am grateful for what my God, my family, my children, and my friends do for me. I have experienced the peace that comes from being grateful. Gratitude also makes us humble. Nandini, you have a lot of things—great wealth, great education—so you have every reason not to be humble. It is important to remember, then, to be grateful and humble and also to remember that there is a reason why you were born in this family. You could be one of the hundred thousand others in this city. Be grateful for the parents you have, your husband, your little child, for your family, and your friends. Gratitude and humility are virtues mentioned even