Pet Psychic Mysteries Boxset Books 5-8 (Magic Market Mysteries Book 2) by Erin Johnson (simple ebook reader .txt) 📕

Will squirmed in the too-small seat, while I slumped down in mine. Heidi wiggled between us, perched on the edge of her seat, eyes fixed on the stage far ahead of us. The house lights faded, and everyone took their seats as the murmur of voices quieted.

Heidi’s hands shot out and gripped our wrists. “It’s starting!”

“Oh goodie,” I deadpanned around a mouthful of cheese and prosciutto. The middle-aged woman to my left shot me a look, and I raised a brow at her. What? She jerked her gaze back to the stage, and I continued to chew. Yeah, that’s what I thought.

A deep, magically amplified voice cut across the vast, dark auditorium. “Welcome, consultants, to the third annual Potent Potions summit. Please give a warm hello to your founders, Pearl and Ralph Litt!”

Deafening applause hit the auditorium like a thunderclap. Women all around me leapt to their feet and screamed and whooped. Ow! I glanced over. Heid’s grip on my wrist had tightened to the point I thought I might lose blood circulation.

Her glossy eyes reflected the purple and blue magical lights that swept across the stage and the crowd. “It’s them.”

I curled my lip. Snakes—the girl looked starstruck. I turned back to the stage and leaned to the side to see past the standing women in front of me. I squinted to make out the figures better. Heidi was impressed by these two?

She released my wrist from her death grip and jumped to her feet with the rest of them. I leaned back to flash my eyes at the equally shell-shocked Will, then turned back to the stage.

A pudgy blond woman who, even from this distance, I could tell had caked on the makeup, teetered across the stage in stilettos. She walked hand-in-hand with a big-bellied man who sported a white beard that stood out against his tanned-to-the-point-of-being-orange skin. I frowned and leaned forward. And was the man leading a pig by a leash? A glittering crystal leash?

As they reached center stage, the woman drew her blinged-out wand from her jean jacket and held the tip to her lips. “Oh, y’all are too much.” Her magically amplified voice bounced off the walls of the auditorium.

The cheering grew louder, and she appeared bashful, waving it off and clapping her hands to her rouged cheeks. She shook her head at her husband, who raised their clasped hands in the air, then planted an exaggerated kiss on his wife’s cheek. Wow. These two liked attention. I glanced around. It was like being at a Banshees concert—I half wondered if a mosh pit was about to break out.

Eventually the fanfare died down and the thousands of women who’d lost their minds over these two sank back into their seats. The woman brought the tip of her wand back to her bright pink lips.

“Why, what a warm welcome y’all gave me.” She scrunched up her face into mock disapproval. “But I do have one complaint.”

Her orange husband, wand raised to his own mouth, cocked his head. “Now what’s that, dear?”

She planted a fist on her hip. “Well… we were introduced and welcomed, but what about the most important person on this stage—our sweet little pet, Buttercup?” She gestured a hand decked out in rings at the pink pig who happened to be sniffing her husband’s blinged-out jeans.

The woman to my left burst into hysterics. Clapping and laughter rang out all around the auditorium. Snakes. What were these people on? And where could I get some?

I leaned over to speak around Heidi to Will. “How are people into this?”

Without taking her eyes off the stage, Heidi shushed me.

“Well, let me just start by saying, y’all know you should call me Mama Pearl and—” She gestured to her husband. “Papa Ralph.”

I snorted. “Not creepy at all.”

Will snickered, but the woman beside me shot me a look.

“Because we’re all a big family. That’s what I love most about this company that we’ve built—not the money or the fanfare or the fame.” Mama Pearl strutted about stage, fingers, dress, and jacket all glittering with crystals and gems. “No, it’s the community, that’s the backbone of our network of connectedness.”

I frowned. Did that even make sense?

Didn’t matter to the crowd though—they erupted in cheers. I rolled my eyes. I’d bet this woman could be waxing poetic about plungers and this group would lose their minds over it.

“Family—family is the reason I started this company. I wanted to provide for our family and wanted to empower women, just like you, to provide for theirs. Because women—” She paused for dramatic effect and gazed out over the crowd. “Women are the future, and the future is power, and power—power—” She shook her head, eyes glittering with tears. “Power is women.”

The crowd cheered as I sank lower in my seat. I crossed my arms and legs. What did that even mean?

“I started my company when I saw my sister struggling to make it as a boutique potions brewer. At the time, I realized that the healing power of potion masters was just plain out of reach to most of us. Their know-how has been handed down for generations—but it’s so expensive, and the masters so few and far between.” She shook her head, shoulders slumped as if defeated. The crowd watched, rapt.

Mama Pearl lifted a palm. “I thought—how could I help everyday women like you and me get access to that healing power? To help our kids and husbands stay healthy and”—she held a hand to the side of her mouth as if sharing a secret—“frankly, to keep us looking young and attractive to keep the attention of those husbands.” She winked.

The crowd tittered, and I made a gagging motion at Will. Heidi swatted my finger away from my mouth.

“And that’s when it came to me! Like a divination, I got the idea—aha!—for Potent Potions. Affordable vials of powerful potions, from women, for women! And think about our motto and what that