For Better Or Worse by Payne, Jodi (read my book txt) 📕

gay, but she goes to great lengths to make us look ‘normal’; to make us fit in, as if she could turn me into a man and we’d be just another American yuppified couple. I understand why she does it, but it doesn’t stop us from arguing about it in some shape or form, time and again.

“I know, Julie, I tried to patch it up, I happen to think I saved it. We had a nice talk, Marion and I.”

Julie sighed and shook her head. “It’s not just that, Gail, it’s everything.”

Whoa.

“Everything?” I asked, as Julie turned off the sidewalk and marched angrily up the steps to our building. “What’s everything?”

“Everything is you, Gail.”

I felt more than heard those words. They struck me in my stomach, and I felt something twist inside. Not for the first time, Julie was the Beauty and I was her Beast. “Julie,” I said carefully,

“I’m not going to apologize for being me.”

Julie stopped in the hall with one hand on the banister and finally turned to look at me. She sighed, and then made her way up the one flight to our second floor condo. “I’m not asking you to apologize for being you, I’m just asking…” She shook her head and unlocked the door to our place. “I don’t know what I’m asking. I’m asking you to have some respect for the circles I operate in.”

Okay, this time she asked for it. “Circles you operate in.” I repeated, emphasizing each word. I closed and locked the door behind me as we went inside. “I’m sorry I don’t make a six-figure salary, Julie, but that’s no reason to imply that I am trash, either.”

“You just don’t understand!” Julie barked at me and hurried into the bedroom, unable to hide her tears this time. I arrived at the bedroom door just in time to have it slammed in my face. Julie and I had had many arguments, but we didn’t slam doors; we didn’t walk away from each other. It was our rule. There was something more going on here. And by ‘something’ I didn’t mean hormones.

“What is this really about, Julie?”

“Nothing!” she sobbed from the other side of the door.

“Can I come in?”

“No!” Her voice was a little farther away from the door this time, and I heard her blow her nose.

“Please?”

Julie sniffled. “Go ‘way.”

I tried the doorknob. She hadn’t locked it, and so I started to turn the handle.

“My mother wants us for Christmas!” Julie shouted, and I froze.

I blinked at the door for a long moment, and then took a few steps backward, away from it. “On second thought, Julie, honey, I’m going to stay out here.”

“I hate my mother!” Julie shouted.

“No, you don’t.” She doesn’t. Julie is incapable of hate.

“I should!”

“You said no, right?” I asked tentatively and received no answer. “Julie? Tell me you said no?”

Except that I already knew that she hadn’t, Julie never said no.

The bedroom door opened slowly, and Julie looked at me with red, watery eyes. “It’s not polite to turn down an invitation from one’s mother,” she said helplessly, as much a slave to her good manners as ever.

3

Of all the things I knew I’d have to endure when I decided to shack up with Julie full-time, I never expected to be spending Christmas with Mommy and Daddy at their mountain home in Vail.

I’d never seen anything like it. It looked like a palace. As we pulled up the driveway, the sun glinted off the slightly greenish tinted glass that covered one entire end of the house. Floor to ceiling windows on three floors allowed for an unspoiled view of the mountains from every room.

The limo that picked us up had custom plates that read “mumsey”; it was Mommy’s limo. When it stopped near the front entrance I reached for the door handle, but Julie put her hand on my arm. “Don’t. Ben will get it,” she said. She was completely serious.

” _Ben _ will get it.” I repeated her words back to her as a statement, not a question, trying to hide the sarcasm in my voice and failing miserably.

“Gail, you promised—”

“Not to be snarky,” I interrupted. “Yes. Yes, I did. I’m sorry.” Why did I promise her that when I knew there was no way in hell I was going to be able to keep that promise?

As forecast, Ben did open my door and I stepped out, reaching a hand back in to help Julie out as well. Ben closed the car door as Julie and I made our way up the white gravel path to the front steps. “Let me guess. Ben will get our bags, too.”

“Well, Ben will bring them into the house, Eileen will get them from there.”

Christ. “Eileen?”

“Don’t start, Gail.” Julie chided. “Best behavior, you promised.”

“If you don’t stop reminding me of my fucking promises…” I began just as the front door opened for us.

“Hello, Mother.” Julie said, right about the time that I used the f-word, loud enough to drown my voice out. I just stared at her. Never trust a woman whose children call her ‘Mother’.

“Julie, so good to see you!” Her mother pulled Julie into the house and gave her a fairly convincing hug. She and Julie looked nothing alike as far as I could tell; her mother’s hair was blonde and straight, and her face was long where Julie’s was rounder. “Look at you. You look…

well, you look pretty Julie, but I wish you’d wear your hair—”

Julie cut her off. “Mother, this is Gail,” she interrupted before her mother could give her a makeover right there in the living room.

“Oh.” Julie’s mother turned to me, and I stepped into the house. She looked me over critically before introducing herself. “I’m Mrs. McHugh.”

Julie balked at that. “Mother.”

I watched the woman’s thoughts march along behind her eyes. Her lips twitched. I think it might actually have been painful for her. “Call me Kathleen,” she said tightly.

“Hello, Kathleen,” I replied, hands tucked neatly in my pockets. She hadn’t