Him by Carey Heywood (reading strategies book .txt) 📕

tried to throw myself into my work to ignore it for all these years. I just feel so confused by Will. It’s clear he still feels something, but what? Is the whole reason he made such a big deal about wanting to talk to me so he could have a chance to apologize? Well, I don’t want his apology. You don’t get to break someone's heart and think everything is fine just because you say sorry. That's just not fair.

I turn my head back to the dance floor when the DJ announces the first dance. Christine's dress has loops and buttons to secure the train to the back of her gown so she won’t have to worry about anyone stepping on it while she dances. I'm trying so hard to be happy for my brother, but it's hard. When you're busy, it's easy to ignore couples and romance. The only days that really suck for me are Valentine's Day and June 17th, the anniversary of that night. I signal the server for another drink. With any luck, I'll be numb before the night is over. Will catches my eye when the server hands me my drink and raises a brow. I give him a half smile and take a drink. I start to second-guess my plan to get drunk when I start imagining Will's lips on mine. I push my drink away and pour myself some water. I need to stay in control tonight.

Brian comes to ask me to dance after the father daughter and mother son dance. I'm happy for an excuse to get away from Will. Brian is so happy. I can't help but relax during our dance, until I see Will move behind him and tap Brian on the shoulder.

"May I cut in?"

I shake my head, but Brian has already given Will my hands. The look they exchange as Brian walks off the dance floor makes me wonder if they planned this. When Will's hand slides around my waist and he pulls me to his chest, I forget what I was thinking about. Will was always a great dancer. He leads me around the floor smoothly as he looks down at me. I want to look away, I do, but instead I drown in the sea of his blue eyes.

He seems just as captivated yet cautious, like he knows I'm thinking of running away again. A big part of me wants to but Sawyer is right. I need to grow up. I'm not that young girl who ran away in the first place. I've changed, and maybe it's time to finally free myself of this pain that I have held onto for so long.

When the song ends, we stand together as the next song starts before I start to pull away. I've regained my ability to think again and am fighting an internal battle with myself on whether to throw myself at Will or put as much distance between us as humanly possible. I'm scared of how I still feel for him.

Part of what scares me so much is I don't know what he wants from me. Since I've been here, he's only said that he wants to talk, and he's asked me why I left. In the toast he just gave, when he said he let the one get away, did he mean me or Jessica? She's engaged now. He could have been talking about her. Will takes my hand, and we walk off the dance floor together. Instead of taking us to our seats, he walks us out into the lobby. He doesn’t let go of my hand.

"Sarah, what did you mean when you said Jessica was the reason you left?"

"I leave the day after tomorrow, Will. What’s the point in even doing this?"

"What's the point? Sarah, you broke my heart when you left, and you tell Brian I don't get to hurt. I think I deserve to know what happened."

I snort. "I broke your heart?" I sink into a chair behind us, talking about this is going to be harder than I thought. Will pulls another chair around and sits so he's facing me. He puts his hands on my knees, and I put my hands on his. Here goes nothing.

Chapter 18

Past

Since prom, we have become even more inseparable, if that’s even possible. As excited as I am to graduate today, I am also dreading Will's trip to Italy. I twirl in front of the mirror one last time before going downstairs. I'm graduating today, and Will and I are going to Bravo's party tonight at his parents’ lake house. Will is driving me over to the school, and my overnight bag is packed. I have my gown on, but it isn’t zipped, and I'm carrying my cap. Will is being lectured by my mother about being responsible tonight.

"Forgetting anything?" Will asks.

I mentally go over everything I've packed before hurrying back upstairs for my phone. Will catches my eye at the bottom of the stairs and winks at me when my mother isn’t looking. I'm wearing a new dress, and it's shorter than anything else I've ever worn. I blush when I see him check out my legs. He takes my bag, and I go give my mom a hug. My parents and brother are meeting us over at the school and taking Will and I out to dinner before we leave for the party. My mom walks me out to Will's car, which annoys me because that means I'll have to wait to really kiss him. He pulls his camera out from the backseat and takes a picture of my profile as I wave to her. When we back away, he puts his hand on my thigh, making me tingle all over. He's grinning because he knows the effect he has on me. I elbow him when he turns off of my street. He pulls over onto a side street and kisses me. My hands are in his hair, and part