Discarded by M. Hunter (the reading list .txt) 📕

‘You’re very quiet,’ Freddie eventually says, breaking the comfortable silence. ‘Penny for them?’

‘Jack thinks he might have found Anna’s remains,’ I say gravely. It’s the first time I’ve allowed myself to say the words out loud, and I’m not surprised by how much they sting.

Freddie immediately stops and pulls me into a hug. ‘Oh gosh, Emma, I’m so sorry.’

It feels good to just be held. ‘We should know for certain in the next few days. I gave him a few hairs from one of her brushes so a DNA comparison can be run.’

‘Wow! How many years has it been since… since she disappeared?’

I rest my temple on his chest. ‘Twenty-one years of not knowing where she is, nor what happened. At least the first question will now be answered, and I can lay her to rest.’

I’m not just being pragmatic either. For the first time, I see that DNA confirmation will mean I can stop looking for Anna, and there’s some heart-breaking relief in that. It’s possible I will never know who took her, nor why she was chosen, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying.

‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ Freddie asks.

I look up into his eyes and release a sigh that’s been building for I don’t know how long. ‘Thank you. We need to wait first, but yes, I may need an occasional shoulder to cry on from time to time. Are you qualified to be my wingman?’

He suddenly straightens his body, as if standing to attention, and salutes me, adopting a fake posh voice. ‘Wing Commander Freddie Mitchell reporting for duty, ma’am. I won’t let you down.’

He always has this ability to make me smile even in the face of adversity. I’m so blessed to have him in my life; in many ways, he’s the big brother I never had.

‘And how are you after last night?’ I try, fixing him with an open stare.

He breaks eye contact and stares out at the sea behind me, sighing heavily. ‘Your friend Jack was right about me, what he said last night – about me holding back… he was right. I didn’t think about that period in my life for a long time, but seeing that place has brought so much back. I keep having flashes of memories – fragments really – in dreams and when my mind is elsewhere. It started when I was inside, and I thought it would stop once I got home and was amongst familiar surroundings, but last night was the worst one yet. I was back at that place, cameras pointing at me, being forced to remove my clothes, and then… It isn’t right. There’s a reason sex at that age is illegal; the adolescent brain isn’t able to process the emotion and confusion of all of that… I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know what to do, or how to escape.’

His eyes are watering but he continues to stare out at the horizon, the wind whipping sand around us.

‘I knew what they were doing was wrong… I knew I wasn’t the only one suffering… But… It sounds so lame, but I was too scared to speak out. At night at St Francis, I would imagine myself killing Arthur Turgood and the others, but as soon as one of them approached I’d become a terrified schoolchild, weak and pathetic.

‘When I was inside I read a book on the tools abusers use to psychologically manipulate their victims, and for the first time I could understand why Turgood and the others acted as they did. For them, the thrill is exerting power over the helpless; probably more so than any sexual gratification they received. But they were just the tip of the iceberg, right? There are plenty more predators still out there and so many children suffering as I did, and I’ve had enough.

‘There was a police press conference on the television news just after lunch. Did you hear about the nine-year-old girl who’s gone missing from the area, Jo-Jo?’

I nod. ‘I met her parents this morning.’

‘I watched and listened to the whole thing, but my eyes never left the picture of Jo-Jo hanging behind their heads. I’ve known children like that; I was a child like that. I wasn’t abducted, but I was left at the hands of merciless monsters who were allowed to get away with what they wanted for too long. Enough is enough, Emma. I can’t sit idly by and allow this kind of thing to continue. I need to do something. I need to stop these bastards.’

I’ve never known Freddie be so open about his feelings without copious coaxing efforts on my part. I know it can’t have been easy for him to come to my flat and to pour his heart and soul out like this, but I’m grateful he felt able to trust me.

‘We don’t know that Jo-Jo has been taken by the same sort of people that took Anna,’ I counter.

‘They’re all those sorts of people. They may have different names and faces but they represent the darkest element of society, and someone needs to stop them whatever the cost. That’s why I burned down that cursed film studio. It might have been closed now, but I knew some of the things that happened there. When you and Jack told me remains had been found at the site, I wasn’t at all surprised. In fact, I’d put money on there being more undiscovered victims there too.’

I don’t know how to respond, so I leave the statement hanging.

‘Jo-Jo’s parents asked me to help bring their daughter home,’ I tell him. ‘The lead detective isn’t my biggest fan and doesn’t want me anywhere near her investigation, but I don’t want Jo-Jo to follow in my sister’s footsteps and become just another statistic either.’

Freddie lowers his gaze to meet mine. ‘Then we’re agreed? We do something about this.’

My thoughts have been so muddled since I woke this morning, and for the first time I feel I have a