A Thief in the Night by E. W. Hornung (the two towers ebook txt) 📕

forget, but whom I met with Maguire at the Boxing Club, and a very grand person in a second skin of shimmering sequins.

I can neither forget nor report the terms in which Barney Maguire asked me who I was and what I was doing there. Thanks, however, to Swigger Morrison’s hospitality, I readily reminded him of our former meeting, and of more that I only recalled as the words were in my mouth.

“You’ll remember Raffles,” said I, “if you don’t remember me. You showed us your trophies the other night, and asked us both to look you up at any hour of the day or night after the fight.”

I was going on to add that I had expected to find Raffles there before me, to settle a wager that we had made about the mantrap. But the indiscretion was interrupted by Maguire himself, whose dreadful fist became a hand that gripped mine with brute fervor, while with the other he clouted me on the back.

“You don’t say!” he cried. “I took you for some darned crook, but now I remember you perfectly. If you hadn’t ’ve spoke up slick I’d have bu’st your face in, sonny. I would, sure! Come right in, and have a drink to show there’s⁠—Jeehoshaphat!”

The secretary had turned the latchkey in the door, only to be hauled back by the collar as the door stood open, and the light from the inner room was seen streaming upon the banisters at the foot of the narrow stairs.

“A light in my den,” said Maguire in a mighty whisper, “and the blamed door open, though the key’s in my pocket and we left it locked! Talk about crooks, eh? Holy smoke, how I hope we’ve landed one alive! You ladies and gentlemen, lay round where you are, while I see.”

And the hulking figure advanced on tiptoe, like a performing elephant, until just at the open door, when for a second we saw his left revolving like a piston and his head thrown back at its fighting angle. But in another second his fists were hands again, and Maguire was rubbing them together as he stood shaking with laughter in the light of the open door.

“Walk up!” he cried, as he beckoned to us three. “Walk up and see one o’ their blamed British crooks laid as low as the blamed carpet, and nailed as tight!”

Imagine my feelings on the mat! The sallow secretary went first; the sequins glittered at his heels, and I must own that for one base moment I was on the brink of bolting through the street door. It had never been shut behind us. I shut it myself in the end. Yet it was small credit to me that I actually remained on the same side of the door as Raffles.

“Reel homegrown, low-down, unwashed Whitechapel!” I had heard Maguire remark within. “Blamed if our Bowery boys ain’t cock-angels to scum like this. Ah, you biter, I wouldn’t soil my knuckles on your ugly face; but if I had my thick boots on I’d dance the soul out of your carcass for two cents!”

After this it required less courage to join the others in the inner room; and for some moments even I failed to identify the truly repulsive object about which I found them grouped. There was no false hair upon the face, but it was as black as any sweep’s. The clothes, on the other hand, were new to me, though older and more pestiferous in themselves than most worn by Raffles for professional purposes. And at first, as I say, I was far from sure whether it was Raffles at all; but I remembered the crash that cut short our talk over the telephone; and this inanimate heap of rags was lying directly underneath a wall instrument, with the receiver dangling over him.

“Think you know him?” asked the sallow secretary, as I stooped and peered with my heart in my boots.

“Good Lord, no! I only wanted to see if he was dead,” I explained, having satisfied myself that it was really Raffles, and that Raffles was really insensible. “But what on earth has happened?” I asked in my turn.

“That’s what I want to know,” whined the person in sequins, who had contributed various ejaculations unworthy of report, and finally subsided behind an ostentatious fan.

“I should judge,” observed the secretary, “that it’s for Mr. Maguire to say, or not to say, just as he darn pleases.”

But the celebrated Barney stood upon a Persian hearthrug, beaming upon us all in a triumph too delicious for immediate translation into words. The room was furnished as a study, and most artistically furnished, if you consider outlandish shapes in fumed oak artistic. There was nothing of the traditional prizefighter about Barney Maguire, except his vocabulary and his lower jaw. I had seen over his house already, and it was fitted and decorated throughout by a high-art firm which exhibits just such a room as that which was the scene of our tragedietta. The person in the sequins lay glistening like a landed salmon in a quaint chair of enormous nails and tapestry compact. The secretary leaned against an escritoire with huge hinges of beaten metal. The pugilist’s own background presented an elaborate scheme of oak and tiles, with inglenooks green from the joiner, and a china cupboard with leaded panes behind his bullet head. And his bloodshot eyes rolled with rich delight from the decanter and glasses on the octagonal table to another decanter in the quaintest and craftiest of revolving spirit tables.

“Isn’t it bully?” asked the prizefighter, smiling on us each in turn, with his black and bloodshot eyes and his bloated lip. “To think that I’ve only to invent a trap to catch a crook, for a blamed crook to walk right into! You, Mr. Man,” and he nodded his great head at me, “you’ll recollect me telling you that I’d gotten one when you come in that night with the other sport? Say, pity he’s