Southern Heart by Madison, Natasha (best fiction novels .txt) ๐
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I slip the key in and unlock the door, not sure if Mayson will even be back. The cool air of the house hits me right away as I step in, and my eyes go to the green duffel bag at the front door. The same bag Ethan brought him over last week. My heart starts to speed up in my chest even faster than it did this morning when he walked away from me. I put my keys down on the table in the front hall.
My hands are suddenly sweaty and shaking. I lock it down, blinking away the tears climbing into my eyes. With heavy feet, I walk into the house, expecting him to be sitting on the couch waiting for me.
When I walk in and donโt see him there, I go to the kitchen and take a glass out, walking over to the sink and filling it with some cold water. My mouth suddenly dry, my eyes are fixated on the trees outside.
I hear movement in his room, and I brace myself for what is coming. "Hi," he says, and I make the stupid mistake of looking over my shoulder and seeing him in jeans and a black shirt. His hair is still wet from the shower he must have just taken.
"Hi," I say, turning back around to look forward.
"Did you just get home?" he asks, and I nod my head.
"Yeah, Grandpa just dropped me off," I say, putting the glass in the sink and then turning around. "Iโm going to go change." I avoid his eyes. I avoid even walking next to him. The lump in my throat is stuck when I get into my room, and I close the door. Itโs the first time Iโve done that with him in the house.
I slip into the shower, and I have to admit that I am stalling. I know heโs leaving. I know that tonight when he goes to bed, it will be someplace else. I turn off the water right before the stinging starts in my eyes, and I avoid looking in the mirror. I slip on my shorts that have blue clouds on them and match it with a baby blue long-sleeved V-neck shirt. I look at myself in the mirror and see that my blue eyes shine even more with this shirt.
I walk out, and I somehow wish he had just left without talking to me. "Hey," he says again, and I honestly donโt know what to do.
"Did you change your bandages?" I ask, walking to the kitchen and grabbing another glass. I need something in my hands so I donโt just stand here and look at him.
"Can you look at me, please?" he says, his voice low, and I take a deep breath and count to ten before looking up. I take a mental picture of him, but nothing beats him in real life.
"What is it?" I ask, standing in front of the island now, setting the glass down only because Iโm afraid it will fall out of my hand and shatter.
"We need to talk," he says, and I laugh now.
"Iโm pretty sure I know what you are going to say,โ I say. "I got the hint when I walked in and saw your bag at the door." I donโt let him get a word in because I donโt think I can handle the bullshit coming out of his mouth. "When are you leaving?"
"Tonight," he says. "Itโs easy to leave when itโs dark."
I nod now, pretending I know what the fuck heโs talking about. "Where are you going?" I want to kick myself. "Actually, you donโt need to answer that."
"Your uncle got me a house," he says.
"Well, then, I guess everyone wins," I say, looking at him. He puts his hands on his hips, and his head hangs down.
"This morningโฆ" he starts, but I put my hand up.
"Forgive me,โ I say. "For putting that on you." He looks at me, and I can see that his eyes have gotten darker. "If we can forget the past week happened." I swallow, but my mouth feels like it has a cotton ball in it. "We can just continue likeโฆ"
"Continue like you didnโt tell me you love me?" he says, his voice getting louder. "Continue like I havenโt had my lips on you? Continue like leaving this morning didnโt kill me?"
"Well, you left and didnโt look back, so we can go with that,โ I say, sounding hurt, and I want to kick myself.
"What the fuck was I supposed to say?" He looks at me. "Sorry, Ethan, Iโll be right back. I just want to kiss your sister goodbye," he says, his voice calm. "Or maybe I could have said, Ethan, can you give me a second because I need to tell your sister that I can see what she means."
I look over at him. "What?"
"This morning," he says slowly. "Last night, I didnโt sleep." His eyes stare into mine. "The whole night you were in my arms, and I felt calm. I felt calm, and I felt at peace. I watched the stars all night long, and not once did I think of the darkness as evil. Not one time did I dread the next minute." I put my hand over my chest, hoping to calm down the beating. "Then this morning when we sat down and watched the sunrise, the same thing happened. I saw the fucking good. For once, I looked at the trees moving gently in the wind and thought itโs a good day." He looks down now. "Then as soon as I felt that, your brother shows up." He shakes his head, looking down and then up again, and I see the anguish all over his face. "Then your brother shows up, and just like that, Iโm reminded that there is no
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