The Man Who Wasn't All There by David Handler (book recommendations website TXT) 📕

– or sturdy if you prefer, which I do – and despised Austin. That spells definite suspect to me. Same goes for Skip Rimer.’

‘Truman Mainwaring’s boyfriend? What about him?’

‘I spoke to him when I was at the hospital getting checked over this morning.’

‘Why?’

‘Dr Eng wanted to see how I was progressing.’

‘No, I mean why did you speak to Rimer?’

‘I got the impression you wanted me to. Now you’re about to tell me that, no, I was mistaken. Please don’t bother. It’s beneath you and you’ll be insulting my intelligence.’

Tedone let out an exasperated sigh. ‘What did you get out of him?’

‘For starters, the reason he gave you such a hostile attitude was because you gave him the impression you were anti-gay and that Truman deserved to get his clavicle blown to bits.’

‘That’s not true!’ Tedone objected heatedly. ‘I’ve got nothing against the gays. The little bastard just went out of his way to piss me off, that’s all.’

‘How did he manage to do that?’

‘With that chippy attitude of his. Plus he kept flexing his biceps with those stupid barbed wire tattoos.’ He sipped his Bass. ‘So are you going to tell me what you got out of him or make me beg you?’

‘Haven’t decided yet.’ I drained my own Bass. ‘Care for another?’

He glowered at me. ‘I swear, Hoagy, if you don’t start …’

‘He’s in the same boat as Donna. Can’t account for his whereabouts at the time of Austin’s murder. The surgeon had sent him home because he told him the procedure would take hours. Skip said he went back to the Mainwarings’ house on Cove Road, pumped iron and ran the treadmill in their basement gym. And the answer to your next question is no, he didn’t see any neighbors. Nobody can vouch for him.’

‘OK, but how would he have known where Austin was?’

‘He phoned Jim Conley, who filled him in.’

Tedone shoved his lower lip in and out. ‘Gotta say, I like him for it.’

‘I do, too. Austin shot his lover. Plus he’s an outdoorsman who hikes, rock climbs and thinks he’s a tough guy, although I should point out that Lulu got nothing off of him.’

‘Meaning …?’

‘Meaning if he was the person who was tailing us up the mountain, she didn’t recognize his scent. Which isn’t necessarily conclusive. He could have been wearing Deet. Donna Willis was. She’s had Lyme disease twice and is afraid of deer ticks. Lulu got nothing off of her either.’

Tedone considered this before he said, ‘Yeah, I would, now that you mention it.’

‘You would what?’

‘Care for another Bass.’

‘Fine idea.’ I fetched two more bottles from the refrigerator, popped them open and returned with them. ‘So that’s a pair of very solid suspects right there.’

He took a gulp of his Bass. ‘I can give you two more – the Hardy Boys.’

‘Frank and Joe?’

He frowned. ‘Frank and who?’

‘Don’t mind me, I’m still concussed. Their alibi’s no good?’

‘Let’s say it is but it isn’t. They told Ang Bartucca they were spreading gravel on a driveway at a house on Griswold Avenue at the time of Austin’s murder. Ang confirmed they were doing the gravel job like they said. Trouble is, the homeowner is their cousin, Gail, who’s real tight with Tony and Gas. In fact, she was at that beach party Austin broke up a couple of weeks ago when he was playing cop. And it so happens that she’s hated Austin ever since they were in the third grade – a good two years before he poisoned the Hardy Boys’ dog.’

‘Why, what did he …?’

‘Cut off all of her beautiful long blond hair with a pair of scissors during a classroom crafts project. The teacher was standing right there. Dragged him straight to the principal’s office and he was suspended. Ang says there’s no way Gail can be considered a reliable alibi. He has zero doubt she’d lie to cover for Tony and Gas.’

‘Could be a two-way street.’

‘Meaning?’

‘The Hardy Boys are her alibi. Revenge can taste pretty sweet after forty years, or so I’ve been told.’

Tedone shook his head. ‘No chance. She has rheumatoid arthritis. Can barely get around, let alone climb Mount Creepy.’

‘OK, so much for that idea. What about Joaquin, that ex-Green Beret bodyguard of Michael’s? Austin told me he kept staring at his pecker when they threw him in the shower, and that he was always giving him yearning looks. Any chance he’s in play?’

‘I had a conversation with Joaquin Sandoval. He has a wife and two kids in Houston, with a third one on the way.’

‘That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not interested in men, too.’

‘True, except he claims that it was Austin who was always giving him the yearning looks. Dr Annabeth McKenna would know a whole lot more about this than I would, but if you ask me Austin had so many issues with gays because he was gay himself and couldn’t deal with it.’

‘That thought has occurred to me, too,’ I said.

‘But in answer to your question, no, he’s not in play. All four members of Michael’s security team were guarding Michael in his fortress after Austin escaped and shot Truman at the beach club, the reason being that Michael was totally convinced that Austin was coming for him next. Joaquin told me his assignment was to patrol the grounds with that attack dog of theirs.’

‘I still think Pinkie’s a wussie name.’

‘Plus the other three members of the team vouch for Joaquin a hundred percent. He never left Michael’s house.’

‘Could they be lying to cover for him?’

‘Possibly, except for something that the M.E. told me. Austin’s throat was slashed with what he described as crude aggression. It was the work of a crazed amateur, not a trained soldier. If Joaquin had been the one who slit Austin’s throat, it would have been quick and clean.’ Tedone drained his Bass and set it on the end table next to his chair, rubbing his tired eyes. ‘I feel like I’m nowhere. It’ll crack open eventually. They always do. But I