The Sharpest Kiss by Elizabeth Myles (the false prince .txt) 📕

chuckled. “Kiefer suggested calling this place Immortal Donuts in my honor, but I thought that was a bit much. Hence, we went with Endless.”

“Cute,” Jessica said, chuckling too. “But if we’re sticking with vampire puns, I personally would have gone with ‘The Sweetest Bite.’ Or maybe…‘A Bite of Glaze.’”

Nathan looked impressed. “You are good at this.”

“Thanks. Wordplay’s kind of a hobby of mine. Anyway…a money-making venture? You mean to tell me you’re not filthy rich? I thought all vampires were billionaires.”

Nathan actually grinned at that. “I am sorry to disappoint you, but no. I am, at best, solidly middle-class.”

She tilted her head. “Dude, you’ve had at least forty years to play the stock market.”

He feigned a frown. “And where were you when I needed such sound financial advice? Like most Americans, I was rather clueless about investments. I received a late start on my retirement plan. And the housing crash of 2008 was rough on everyone, living and undead alike…”

Jessica laughed and mentally added a dry sense of humor to his growing list of attractive qualities. “So, does that mean you have a job or something? You can’t work here, obviously, unless it’s usually open twenty-four hours.”

“I do web-design from home,” the vampire said. “The hours are flexible, and I do not have to interact with clients in person very often.”

Jessica nodded in understanding, but she was fascinated. Unable to stop asking questions, she persisted, “Why do you live in my apartment building, of all places? Why the suburbs?”

A shadow descended over his expression at that, and she worried she’d pressed too hard. “My family,” he said in a low tone. “Several of them live in the area, although not so near that I might run into them unexpectedly. I only wanted to be as close as possible, in the event that they ever needed anything from me.”

Jessica swallowed. She wanted to apologize for being pushy—and to sympathize with him over the fact that, although he could watch over his family from a distance, he could never actually spend any time with them—but then Kiefer let out a whistle to catch everyone’s attention.

“There’s a car coming,” he announced, and everyone surged toward the windows, crowding together to peek outside. Jessica, finding herself with her back pressed not-uncomfortably against Nathan’s chest, saw a dark car glide up to the curb and stop. A guy in jeans, a black t-shirt, and a lightweight jacket got out and started making his way toward the donut shop. His posture was stiff, and his steps were halting, almost as though he were being jerked along by puppet strings.

“That’s him,” Kiefer said. “That’s the S.O.B. I planted the token on.”

Nathan backed away from the window, kicked a chair into the center of the room, and then reached into Kiefer’s duffel bag. “The duct tape,” he muttered, rummaging around. “Where is the duct tape?”

“Oh, I have some!” Lucy rushed back to the counter and snatched up her purse. She tossed the roll at Nathan and looked at Jessica with triumph. “I knew it would come in handy.”

Kiefer went to the door and ripped it open. He grabbed the man now standing right outside by the front of his jacket and yanked him in, throwing him to the floor. He locked the door again. Nathan seized the guy and flung him into the chair, using the duct tape to secure him to it. All along, to Jessica’s amazement, the guy remained perfectly silent, meek, and blank-faced. He didn’t lift a finger to act in his own defense, almost like he’d been rendered incapable of fighting back.

Nathan noticed it, too. “You added something to the spell,” he said to Kiefer with a tinge of accusation.

“Just a little something to keep him from attacking us as soon as he got here,” Kiefer said, sounding unperturbed. And unrepentant. “Something to keep him nice and docile, and to make sure he tells us the truth.” He looked into the captive’s face. “Confused, buddy?” he asked, clapping him on the shoulder. “Wondering why I’m not dead and don’t even have a scratch on my pretty mug after the way you and your buddy laid into me? Well, those are my little secrets to hold onto, but I will give you a word of advice. You might want to get into the habit of periodically checking your pockets. Never know when someone might plant an enchanted object on you and use it to control you.” He stood over the man with his arms folded, glaring down at him with an air of menace. Nathan lingered nearby, while everyone else kept further back, their eyes locked on the hostage. “So, what’s your name?” Kiefer asked him, almost pleasantly.

“Theo,” the captive said automatically, his voice as flat and emotionless as his expression. He was slightly older than his captors, maybe thirty-five, with short black hair and dark, beady eyes. He stared at Kiefer blankly, like his brain was fogged.

“Are you responsible for digging up the master vampire Celia, Theo?” Kiefer asked him.

Theo nodded. “It was me and a bunch of other guys—eight of us all together—but, yeah.”

“Your friend that was here with you earlier, roughing me up? Was he one of those guys, too?”

“Yeah. That’s Tom.”

“Where is he now? Where’s the rest of your gang?”

“Tom went out to get food. Everyone else is dead.”

Jessica startled at the news. The flat, affectless way Theo had announced the demise of his compatriots only made it more disconcerting. She exchanged an apprehensive glance with Lucy, standing beside her, and then they both returned their morbidly curious gazes to the man in the chair.

“Dead,” Kiefer repeated, exhibiting only a little surprise. “What happened to them?”

“Celia killed them all.” A ripple passed across Theo’s face then. It wasn’t quite an emotion, but the first hint of one he’d displayed thus far.

“She bit them?”

“Yeah. We each had a charm on us. It was supposed to keep her from chomping on us as soon as she saw us, but it didn’t work. We’d