The Last Secret You'll Ever Keep by Laurie Stolarz (summer reads txt) 📕

later. That girl doesn’t stay away for long.

Cobra-head43: Paylee doesn’t seem to sleep much. Like me. Lol.

I remain lurking in the chat room for another full hour, waiting for Peyton. But she doesn’t show up. Might she be purposely staying away? Has she told anyone about the book page in her mailbox? Was that what she was referring to when she said she had a lot on her plate? Could I have been on her plate too—because of how cold I was to her? Is that why she was asking about me?

I hate that I don’t know the answers. Hate that people say she seemed quiet on the chat. And hate, most of all, that I consciously chose to push her away, ignoring her cries for help, as though I haven’t learned a thing.

NOW

36

I search the chat room feed for Peyton’s name at various times throughout the following day. But still no luck, and so I draft her a message:

Dear Peyton,

I’d really like to talk to you. I’m sorry about our last chat. You were right about protecting your privacy. Maybe part of me feels stupid for not doing the same. I’m not perfect—nowhere close—which you probably know better than anyone else. When you have a moment, could you please let me know that you’re okay? I miss you.

Xoxoxo!

Love,

Terra

P.S. I’ve been watching more of Summer’s Story.

I hit Send and join the chat:

JennaIsDead: No, my brother told me. It’s totally fine.

TulipPrincess: Well, at least, now you know.

NightTerra: Hey, everyone!

TulipPrincess: Hey, NT! When did you sneak in?

NightTerra: Any Paylee22 sightings?

JennaIsDead: Who????

TulipPrincess: Nope.

Cobra-head43: Nada.

JennaIsDead: Sorry, I’m new here.

TulipPrincess: Paylee22 is a girl who practically lives on this site. Aside from the past few days, I’m not sure I’ve ever come online and not found her on here. But you could probably say the same about me. Lol.

Cobra-head43: Ditto.

CityGirlSal: Maybe she got blocked.

NightTerra: Blocked for what?

CityGirlSal: I don’t know. Trying to share her cell number or something.

NightTerra: Share it with whom??

CityGirlSal: I don’t know. It’s just a guess.

TulipPrincess: She’s probably just busy.

CityGirlSal: Maybe she got a job. Is she still in school?

CityGirlSal: Why not ask one of the Jane administrators about her? Maybe they know something. They’d at least know if she were blocked.

CityGirlSal: Isn’t that right, JA Admin? Are you guys listening??? #ThisIsATest

TulipPrincess: If you click on the About Jane page, you can find the contact link. They’ll answer you too. I once got a response from “Jane Anonymous” herself.

CityGirlSal: What did you contact “JA” about?

NightTerra: Good idea. I’ll try that.

TulipPrincess: Wouldn’t you like to know? Lol.

CityGirlSal: Be sure to report back, NightTerra. You’ve got me wondering about Paylee now.

NightTerra: Will do. ’Night, everyone. Thanks for your help.

NightTerra has left the chat room. There are currently 6 people in the chat room.

NOW

37

The next morning, after a mostly sleepless night spent checking and rechecking the chat room for Peyton, with still no luck or any messages in my JaneBox, I click Contact and choose the option to chat with one of the administrators.

JA Admin: Hey there, NightTerra. What can I help you with?

NightTerra: I’m worried about one of the members on the site. Her name is Peyton (chat name, Paylee22). She’s usually in the chat room, but she hasn’t been on in days.

JA Admin: How many days?

NightTerra: Two, maybe. I’m not really sure. Some people said they saw her on, but it’s a little iffy.

JA Admin: Ok, well, two days is not so many. Maybe she’s on vacation.

NightTerra: She would’ve mentioned if she were going away someplace.

JA Admin: Maybe … Does she have a job?

NightTerra: Not anymore.

JA Admin: Are you sure about that? Maybe it’s a new job.

NightTerra: I don’t think that’s it. She has a hard time even leaving her house.

JA Admin: Did something happen in the chat room?

NightTerra: What do you mean?

JA Admin: I mean, was she involved in a recent disagreement or argument with anyone?

NightTerra: Why would that matter?

JA Admin: Sometimes disagreements or altercations of any kind can make it harder to come back to a chat room.

JA Admin: The person may feel anxious that things could get heated again. They might also regret something they said.

JA Admin: Remember the whole reason people enter a chat room to begin with is so they can release their stressors, not create new ones.:)

NightTerra: Ok, but Peyton is always on. Do you know who she is—her real name, I mean? First and last? And where she lives? Is there any way you can check up on her somehow?

JA Admin: You want us to check up on someone because she hasn’t logged in to a chat room for two days?

NightTerra: I think she might be in trouble.

JA Admin: What makes you think that?

NightTerra: Because she thought the guy who abducted her before—eight months ago—was watching her, tracking her movements … She recently got a message … It was in her mailbox.

JA Admin: Ok. Let’s start from the beginning.

I spend the next several minutes telling the Jane administrator everything I know about Peyton’s recent trip to the pharmacy; the page left in her mailbox, including the highlighted message; and the constant fear she has that her abductor is going to come back for her. At the end of it, the administrator reminds me that when I registered on the site, I had to fill out a security form that included my name, date of birth, zip code, and private email address.

“So, we’ll have that information on Peyton too,” she says. “I’ll discuss the situation with the people here and see what I can find out on my end. I’ll also look up the last time Peyton logged in. In the meantime, try not to worry. Often the people that engage on chat sites engage in several of them at once. Sometimes they just naturally gravitate toward the ones they find most helpful or enjoyable. Try not to take it personally.”

“This isn’t about me. I just want to know that she’s okay.”

“I can understand that, and I’ll see what I can do, okay?”

“Okay,” I say, less