The Hunted Girls by Jenna Kernan (best book club books for discussion txt) 📕

“Why don’t you come in?”

He blew out a breath.

“Well, you’re not breaking up with me because no woman would do that in her bedroom.”

“Breaking up! Is that what you thought?”

“Nadine, we can barely carry on a conversation if it isn’t work related. And every time I mention our relationship you change the subject. I guess I’m confused about what it is you want.”

Nadine saw it all ahead of her. Their conversation about the relationship and where it was heading. His desires for them to take the next logical step. She still did not know what that step was because she had never allowed him to finish this conversation. She assumed it meant living together or possibly something that looked like an engagement. She saw the inevitable fight that would follow when she shot him down yet again.

He stared at her with earnest blue eyes and a hopeful expression. She felt the push and pull within her as she struggled against her fears. She glanced away and heard him sigh.

She crossed the distance between them, reaching up and stroking his cheek. His eyes drifted closed and he tilted his face into her palm. She lifted onto her toes and pressed her lips to his. He deepened the kiss as she threaded her fingers through his hair, pressing closer.

It wasn’t fair to use her body as a diversion, but she needed his touch and thought he needed hers. There would be time for fighting tomorrow. But right now she needed comfort, solace and his mouth on hers.

The sound he made deep in his throat was a growl of primal need. She felt the answering heat rising inside her.

She tugged at his shirt, fumbling with the buttons. He stepped back into his room, dragging the garment up and over his head, tossing it away. She stripped out of her clothing and reached for his belt. He unclipped his weapon and badge, setting them on his side table, then dropped his khakis, kicking them aside.

They tumbled to the bed together. Her need made her frantic. She wanted to be closer to him, needed to feel the friction in the glide. She rolled on top of him in a frenzied dash to their fulfillment.

Afterward, they lay on their backs staring at the ceiling as the air-conditioning cooled the sweat from their feverish bodies and their heartbeats slowed. The next time was an unhurried sensual exploration. She was now well acquainted with the tempting hollows and hard planes of his chest and stomach. She loved stroking the perfect musculature of his torso.

This time when they fell into satisfied lethargy, he wrapped her in his arms, holding her tight to his chest, and stroked her hair.

He coiled one strand about his index finger and stared lazily down at her.

“It’s not enough. I still want more.”

She made a humming sound in her throat. “After a little rest.”

“I’m not talking about the sex. Did you realize we are in your bed? That’s a first.”

She opened one eye to glance about, perceiving her earlier olive branch as a potential tactical error.

“So we are.”

“That means you can’t sneak off the minute I get too close.”

“You’re pretty close.” She smiled up at him, hoping he would be disarmed by humor. He did not smile, and her heart gave a panicked jolt. She glanced toward the door connecting their rooms.

“I need something beyond a physical relationship, Nadine. I’m wondering if that is more than you are capable of giving me.”

“Is that some sort of a threat?”

Demko dragged his index finger over her bare shoulder and kissed her forehead. “Why do you always see me, us, as a threat?”

“Because I don’t want to lose you, but I’m not ready to ‘move on.’” She made air quotes.

“Move on to someone else?” he asked.

“No, for us to move on. Can’t we just keep things as they are?”

He gave a slow shake of his head, his smile a tragedy.

“Not unless you explain it to me.”

She sat up. He let her go. Did he expect her to flee? The urge to disappear into the bathroom was almost too much to resist. Instead she scooted sideways so she could face him.

“My mom manipulated both me and my brother as kids. She withheld affection. She exploited us, controlled our behavior with bribery, threats and lies to keep us quiet and afraid. My therapist says my unwillingness to allow people too close comes from—”

He cut her off. “I don’t want to know what your therapist said. I want to know how you feel about me.”

“I think I just showed you how I feel.”

“We’ve never had any issues in the bedroom, Nadine. I’ve never manipulated you and I never will. Is that really the issue?”

Nadine gnawed on her lower lip. He waited and waited and finally rolled from the bed and retrieved his trousers and drew them on. He didn’t say anything as he reached for his service weapon and shield, but she knew. She was losing him and that scared her more than what might happen if she told him the truth.

“Wait,” she said.

“For what?” He sounded so weary.

She scooped up her T-shirt and dragged it over her head. Then she grasped his hands and led him back to sit with her on the end of the bed.

“It’s not just the past. It’s the future.”

He lifted a brow. “Go on.”

Here it was. What she’d been afraid to say to him, all this time.

“I’m afraid of what you want and where it may lead us. I’m afraid that the next level and moving forward means a commitment. I’m afraid you want to get married again, and afraid you might want to have more kids.” She felt as if she might throw up.

Instead of admitting that was what he was seeking, he said, “And that’s a problem for you because…”

“I’m terrified that I’m not even capable of real intimacy or personal connections. I’m desperately afraid that my mother’s influence has crippled me, prevented any true feelings of empathy.”

Words were tumbling, one