The Funny Thing about Norman Foreman by Julietta Henderson (e book reader online txt) 📕

brought along his partner, Kathy, as well, who he was sure would be delighted to meet me. I couldn’t decide on the spot whether the prospect of disappointing Tony’s girlfriend or them thinking I had a boyfriend in his eighties worried me more, but we made arrangements to meet the next morning. I hung up wondering if Kathy would be so happy to meet me once I’d laid the news of Norman’s possible parentage at her pretty Welsh feet.

Tony looked exactly the same as the last time I’d seen him. Actually, that was naked and asleep, so maybe I’m exaggerating slightly, but apart from a few more clothes (and, come to mention it, that looked suspiciously like the same shirt and jeans I’d trampled over so cavalierly on his bedroom floor while making my escape) and the addition of some black-rimmed glasses, he really hadn’t changed at all. When I saw him walk into the café, 2007 picked me up and slammed me right back against the wall without even shaking my hand.

Kathy wasn’t Welsh, she was from Leeds and she was lovely, if perhaps a little less delighted to meet me than Tony had promised. Not that I blamed her, and she didn’t even know the half of it. She was literally the female version of Tony, which did make me wonder about life, the universe and everything just a bit. How the hell had those two lucked out and found each other? Not only did they have identical wavy brown, mid-shoulder-length hair and the same dark brown eyes, they also looked like they chose their outfits from the same pile of clothes off their bedroom floor each morning. Shabby, crumpled and androgynous, because they had better things to do with their time than wash, iron or separate their whites. Which was probably true, because they were both full-time social workers and ran a drop-in centre and soup kitchen in the evenings and on weekends. Of course they did.

In between tea and carrot cake all round, Tony and Kathy chatted away about the down-and-outers of Swansea, and their poetry slam group that had started with one old guy who came for the free biscuits and now had forty-three chocolate-digestive-eating members. And how a committee member from the Cardiff Harbour Festival had got wind of the group and invited them up there to perform. And about Big Joe, who was fifty-six and had never been further than the Swansea seafront in his entire life and was now going to Cardiff to sing for the mayor.

‘Imagine that!’ said Kathy. When she spoke she said it straight to Tony, like he was finding out this amazing fact for the first time and wasn’t the guy she woke up to every morning of her life. Tony responded equally as enthusiastically.

‘I know, right? Incredible, Kath.’ Then they gave each other a little squeeze, like they’d just shared the most amazing piece of information in the world.

It was just as well Leonard was along for the ride because Norman and I were both as awkward as each other when it came to keeping up even the light end of a conversation. When it became obvious I wasn’t going to be too much use, Leonard chimed in and started asking Kathy and Tony some polite questions. Like how long they’d been living in Swansea, which was eight years for Tony, since he’d arrived for his first social-work job, and seven and a half for Kathy, since she’d arrived for a three-month work secondment.

‘I met Tony on my first day on the job and, well, that was that. I was a goner!’ That look again, a squeeze, and an assurance from Tony that it was in fact he that had been the goner from the moment she walked through the doors.

‘Actually, Sadie, we might even have you to thank in a funny kind of way,’ he said. ‘I’d probably have gone back home and ended up being the Big Joe of Carlisle if it hadn’t been for you.’

All eyes went to me. I had no idea what he meant and I must have looked as terrified as I felt because Tony leaned forward and put his hand on my arm in reassurance.

‘No, no, it’s good, Sadie. You probably don’t even remember, but . . .’ Considering I’d struggle to remember even one good thing about that time in my life, I certainly didn’t think I’d be able remember something that was apparently life-changing for Tony. ‘. . . Well, it was what you said to me that . . . err . . . um, one night.’

Tony flashed a slightly embarrassed look around the table and I’m pretty sure at least three of us knew immediately what night he was talking about. Leonard ducked his head and coughed, Kathy looked down at her lap and I suddenly found the back of my spoon extremely interesting. Norman just looked like he was on the edge of his seat, waiting for the punchline.

‘You told me that I should look at what people like the Brontës and Liam Gallagher had achieved in their lives. That the world was bigger than one bloody city and if I wanted a life for myself I had to go out and bloody well get one.’ To be honest, it didn’t sound like me at all, and I wondered if Tony might have had me mixed up with some other girl, some other one-night stand.

‘I . . . well, I don’t really . . . I mean, maybe I . . .’ But Tony was on a roll down memory lane and picking up speed.

‘You know, you were different from everyone else I met at university, Sadie. You were so intent on doing things your way and it was like you didn’t give a toss what the world and its wife thought about any of it. I was actually a little bit in awe of your fierceness and your . . . your fearlessness. You know?’

OK, now I knew Tony had me confused with someone else and that’s why he had